Misery (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 29

Noooooo I didn't stick to the update schedule and it's a day late :(

Blegh. Punish me.

I hope it was worth the wait.

Months had passed. Harry's weekly visits to Jay were actually very beneficial to his recovery. His cutting was no longer a commonplace. Jay recommended trying to find new interests and hobbies, because that would help Harry stay occupied and reduce his amount of free time left to self harm. Louis was so proud of him. Every time he saw Harry come back on campus from Jay's office, Louis would smile so wide that it felt like rainbows were shooting out of his ass.

Harry had taken up guitar lessons with Niall and he wrote songs with Liam once in a while, and Zayn's ignored ability to sing also helped. Harry and Louis would sing duets dramatically when they showered together, mocking kiss in the rain scenes from romantic comedies. Louis only showered with Harry for sexual and intimate purposes rather than distracting him from cutting, because even though it would take Harry a few days, he'd tell Louis.

Louis, for the most part, was okay. His visits to Rizzo weren't as frequent; they'd been scheduled for once a month and phone calls every now and then rather than once a week. Louis still sometimes felt like he was abnormal; the world still had a shit ton of homophobic people who didn't accept him, his childhood best friend whom he sometimes missed being one of them. But then he looked at his surroundings, and reminded himself than Zayn, Liam, and Niall were much better than Stan could ever be and that Harry wouldn't be with him if he was straight.

There were a lot of problems though, still. Seeing Josh with his leggy black haired, curvy beard who was called Stacia made memories flood in Louis's brain. Especially when Josh told people that the hickeys on his neck were from Stacia when they were really from Andy. When Louis was reminded of these things, he had to search for Harry and jump into his arms, sobbing into his shirt. On the bright side, Josh never even talked to Louis anymore, so that element of Louis's misery was eliminated.

The biggest problem was with Harry though. The past week, he'd been acting strange. He had several relapses, and Louis began to question whether they were actually relapses because he did it four times in a week. That too, on his thighs, so it hurt him when Louis tried to straddle him. Something was totally off about Harry. Louis needed to find out.

"M'not good at poker," Louis grumbled.

"Then you're lucky that we aren't playing to gamble," Liam shrugged, shuffling his cards.

"This'd be more fun with Harry. It feels so incomplete just the four of us," Zayn sighed as he flicked the butt of his Marlboro into the ashtray.

"What's been goin' on with Harry, Lou? Why doesn't he wanna hang with his lads anymore?" Niall asked.

Louis had to pretend he knew the answer to that question. He didn't want to worry the boys or make them suspicious. Louis also felt extremely guilty that the boys had been shut out of everything for ages, and Harry and Louis were lying by omission right through their teeth. Louis shrugged, looking at Niall. "He does have social anxiety. Sometimes he builds up these walls for a while and doesn't knock them down for a bit."

Niall shook his head. "Bullshit. He let down those walls a long time ago. He's never been afraid to be with us except maybe when conversations get a little too personal." Zayn and Liam looked at each other, not wanting to say anything out loud, but Louis knew what they were thinking.

"Guys, he's fine," Louis snapped defensively, "leave the boy alone. Let's get back to poker."

"If there's anything going on you can't be scared to tell us, Lou," Liam shifted his position to look at Louis, "we love Harry as much as you do and we deserve to know if there's something not right with him."