Misery (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 14

I want to thank everyone who is reading this because ahhhh 1,000 reads? Whaaaat???

I would like to let you know- I am a recovered self harmed. So any self harm alternatives that will be mentioned much later in the story are indeed helpful and you can actually use them.

If you self harm and are seeking recovery, do not hesitate to message me.

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(LOUIS POV)

"LouLou," Liam tugged on his feet, trying to pul off the blanket from his body. "Are you hungover badly?"

Louis groaned and stretched his muscles a bit before sitting up. "No, not at all actually," he told Liam truthfully.

"Good. We need to win this footie tournie."

Louis didn't remember much of what happened the other night. He remembered up to getting Niall's text and hanging out with his crew on the balcony but that was about it.

"LiLi," Louis threw a pillow at his head before he left, "what happened last night?"

"Don't know, you were with Harry most of the time."

Harry.

Suddenly Louis started to remember what happened. He remembered dancing stupidly and drunkenly with Harry next to him, then grinding, and then kissing.

"No!" Louis screamed. Poor Harry, he must be feeling so weirded out. He must not want to talk anymore after that occurrence.

"Louis, what happened?" Liam asked.

"Harry and I... Um we had a connection last night and it'll be really awkward because we're only friends," Louis explained.

Liam widened his eyes in shock. Louis saw that he knew something. "Oh, wow. Louis do you like him?"

Louis nodded, his cheeks red with embarrassment.

"Then talk to him, ask him to be yours maybe?"

Louis shook his head. "No. No no no. You know my whole issue."

Liam sat next to him on the messy bed. "Louis, it's time you embrace your differences, yeah? I know you're insecure about your sexuality and you feel ashamed and also that you don't want to flaunt your homosexuality and you want to seem like a normal team player... But you can't let that stop you from relationships okay?"

Louis didn't answer. He knew Liam was right but he just couldn't. He couldn't expose Harry to the homophobic world and he certainly didn't want to be known for his orientation. He didn't want people to know about him and Harry. Ever since his first boyfriend when he was 13, he felt that way. Everyone he knew assured him it'd be okay but he knew it wouldn't.

He put on his clothes and got ready to go to the field, unable to get Harry out of his mind.

****************
Louis was slacking off terribly. He looked at the crowd, many of them college jocks and some of them girls that were dating the Rovers and some random people Louis didn't know, but somehow it was his job to please them.

He dribbled the ball as soon as he stole it towards the goal, but ended up tripping over his own feet and falling face first, practically handing the opponent the point. He ignored the chorus of 'boo's' because the only thing in his mind was 'HarryHarryHarry.'

He continued to fail drastically and the other team's score went up quickly. They were beating the shit out of them and it was Lou's fault.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Louis took several breaths to calm himself. He knew he would see Harry at the lunch table and it would be awkward as fuck. He didn't know what Harry would say or do.

"Louis come on, man," Zayn put an arm around his shoulder, taking him inside the cafeteria. "Mate what happened between you and Harry? He seems a little.. I don't know, odd? And you seem odd too."

"Nothing. It's uh.. It's personal," Louis ran to the table beside Niall and Liam with Zayn chasing him. Harry was sitting there. He shot Louis a worried knowing glance and Louis shot one back. They exchanged more knowing glances until Niall interrupted.

"You all up for Chinese tonight at my dorm, maybe a movie?"

Harry squirmed in discomfort. "Niall thanks so much for the offer but I have to pass. I've got an exam."

"Yeah, um thanks Niall but I think I'll pass too."

Louis couldn't really take the weirdness anymore. He had to meet up with Stan and rehearse the lines of this little play his theater group were putting on. Someone would have to eventually bring up the subject of Harry and Louis kissing, grinding and doing whatever else they did. It wasn't going to be Louis and he knew for a fact it wouldn't be Harry either.

**************

"Louis!" Niall and Zayn chucked pillows at his body, which was cocooned in blankets. Despite the plushness of pillows, it still hurt like a bitch given the speed they were tossed at. "Louis come on man you're such a wanker!"

"Jesus Christ! What the fuck do you want I'm trying to sleep!"

"Sleep?" Niall scoffed, "You've been doing a lot of that lately. It's not like you. You slacked off at the game and we lost because of you!"

"Thanks," Louis rolled his eyes.

"Okay Niall that was a bit much mate. Louis it's not like you to miss classes and practices and run away from lunch and even skip your shifts at the coffee stand," Zayn rolled the pillows off of Louis's body and looked him in the eye.

"Is this about that connection that you had with Harry?" Niall asked.

Louis clenched his fists tightly, anger coursing through his veins like a drug. "I will bloody kill Liam!"

"No," Zayn shoved Louis back down into a sitting position, "we also asked Harry and he said the same thing- you two had a connection. Louis you were drunk. Harry didn't know what the hell he was doing. You guys are great friends and he needs you."

"You're kind of acting like Harry you know. Hiding in and avoiding things... I thought you wanted to help the kid Lou! He still gets anxious and sometimes he still gets the symptoms. Meds aren't always the answer, talking always works like a charm," Niall ranted on and on.

"I do want to help him but... I can't believe I fucking kissed him!"

Zayn and Niall looked at Louis silently, their eyes wide open and their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Louis didn't understand what shocked them so much but quite frankly he didn't care.

"A kiss? A fucking kiss? That's all this is about! I thought you two had sex!" Zayn exasperatedly sighed.

"Dudes kiss other dudes all the time. Even if they're straight. It's a guy thing that we do- fuck around with friends," Niall informed.

"But I kissed him and I ruined everything!" Louis whined.

"Okay is this a gay thing I don't know about? Because I'll have you know I went through every gay forum after you came out so I could-"

"Shut up, Niall!" Louis buried his face back into his fluffy mattress. "Look, you're saying it's nothing. But I don't want it to be nothing..."

"You like Harry?" Zayn and Niall asked in unison.

"God," Zayn facepalmed himself, "I feel like I'm in a show for middle schoolers with all of this schoolgirl drama."

"Well yes. The answer is yes. I fancy him."

Zayn sighed. "Okay look Louis. I'm not in a position to tell you he likes you. But I can tell you that he won't stop rambling on about what you two did and damn- you're always together! Harry doesn't talk about you the same way he does about me, or Niall, or Liam."

Louis tried not to blush or smile to himself at that. He imagined Harry going on about him in his slow, raspy voice, taking several minutes to say a few sentences. He pictured how Harry would tell tales about the time that he spent with Louis every day to Zayn before falling asleep. But then again, Harry was probably excited to have a friend that he was very close to. Louis remembered how cute Harry was when he was excited about something, and now Louis fucked it up by being foolish.

"I'm going to keep being his mate," Louis stated, "but nothing more. We can't talk about this. We'll ignore it."

The others were obviously opposed to the idea; it was sheer from the look on their faces. But Louis didn't care; Louis knew what was best for the still blossoming friendship between Louis and Harry.