Misery (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 9

(A/N:****disclaimer**** the medication mentioned in this chapter is completely fictional however, the side effects and the way it treats the disorder are very realistic.

The best way to help social anxiety is to attend therapy sessions, because medications only rid the symptoms. Just a disclaimer, bottom line, pharoxetine doesn't exist. )

(Louis P.O.V)

"I hate the hospital," Harry cringed, making Louis laugh. Louis hadn't seen his mum for ages and he missed her so much. Jay was Lou's best friend when he was very young, and she helped him deal with sexuality issues when Louis first started realizing he was gay.

"Why do you hate it?" Louis asked.

"The anxiety. Hospitals save lives and help with welcoming new ones but also they are anxiety factories. People could die, they could find out they need a hard procedure..." Harry's deep voice trailed off into thought but Louis understood. Harry pressed the button on his car keys and walked by Louis's side.

"The hospital isn't so horrid for me," Louis laughed, "want to hear a weird story?"

"Oh, here we go," Harry laughed.

"I had my first kiss in the hospital," Louis looked up at him, grinning playfully, waiting for a weirded out response.

"Really?"

Louis laughed. "I helped Mum out here so often... So I brought my secret boyfriend here and we snogged in front of a psych ward," he told Harry, giggling.

"Aren't you romantic?" Harry taunted, making Louis nudge him gently in the ribs. "Ow!"

"Where do you stand with romance?" Louis asked, "I think I'm quite naïve when it comes to it. I'm a sucker for sweet gestures and romance that I don't even think straight."

Harry suddenly began to tense up a bit, sadness in his big green eyes. Louis assumed that Harry had something bad happen in a relationship once upon a time, he could tell how hurt Harry looked when relationships were even brought up.

"To be honest Lou, I was a hopeless romantic," he sighed, the rasp of his voice audible, "I wanted to go to Paris with my love and all that shit. But now honestly I'm just cynical."

Louis's smile dropped. "You're not a cynic."

"A cynic is distrusting of the motives of others," Harry said dumbly.

"You trusted me after less than three days," Louis countered.

"But you... Louis you're just so charming. I admit there are times where I still don't trust you but I remind myself that you're Louis," Harry told him, which made Lou blush madly. Louis never thought people would emphasize his name in that context, he never thought anybody would think he was amazing for being openly gay, and he certainly didn't think he would get his dorm cleaned in return for small selfless acts of his. He reminded himself that this was only the beginning of their budding friendship and he'd be in store for more.

Harry held the door open for him when they reached his mum's office. Louis, at first, thought that Harry was polite because he thought he had to be. But now he understood that he had the nature of a sweet gentleman.

"I've never been to a psychiatrist," Harry told Louis, sitting next to him in a leather chair. Jay's clinic was very small and it was right next to the asylum for which she was the doctor.

"It's my mum Harry, don't be nervous," Louis ruffled his hair playfully, earning a whine from Harry.

"Louuu," Harry whined, "you have no idea how long it took me to gel it and shiiiit."

Lou stuck his tongue out, giggling. "Harry, it's really okay though. Just answer the evaluation, yeah? It'll be alright."

"What will she do?"

"She asks a bunch of questions," Louis informed, "that's it. And she prescribes meds."

Harry nodded, getting up to fill in the clipboard of general questions. Louis couldn't help but staring at how he got red and he seemed dizzier than a drunk 15 year old. Louis read online about social anxiety and its symptoms. Apparently, people got really woozy from it. Since Harry had never been in this situation before, it was probably really triggering for him.

He submitted the clipboard, his hand trembling. Louis stood up and walked over to link arms with him, because the sense of touched often helped him feel better. His muscles loosened under Louis's touch, but he didn't completely stop trembling.

"Harry Styles?" the nurse called, twirling her hair. Louis smiled in her direction and led Harry to his mum.

Jay looked up from her files and her face lit up. "Louis? Oh, baby! Harry you should've told me that you were my son's friend."

Louis hugged his mum and didn't want to let go. He missed his family so much. He smiled at his mum, nodding in Harry's direction.

"Okay, sweetheart. Sit in that chair in my office, alright?"

"Thanks, Doctor Tomlinson," Harry mumbled. Louis couldn't stand to see Harry so nervous.

"Call me Jay," his mum offered politely.

"Mummy, can I accompany Harry?" Louis asked.

"I shouldn't do it, babe... Psych evaluations are supposed to be confidential. But I suppose I can make a little exception," she winked at Harry, taking a clipboard that the nurse handed her. Louis sat next to Harry, keeping his dainty little hand on Harry's knee.

"Harry I want you to tell me what you're feeling right now," Jay smiled warmly, "be completely honest. No judgement here." Jay glanced at his trembling hands.

"Like I'm going to faint," Harry muttered, "I feel dizzy and scared."

"Are you getting negative thought like... Like you just know you'll say something stupid, huh?"

Harry nodded.

"Do you hide from social situations?"

Harry nodded again.

"So you have social phobia then. Can you tell me when it started, or what started it?" Jay asked.

Harry shook his head. "I never, ever speak about that..."

Jay nodded. "Okay Harry."

Louis stared at Harry while Jay scribbled illegible notes on her clipboard. He moved his hands up to Harry's shoulder and his hand trailed against his bicep.

Thats weird.

Harry flinched away from Louis's touch, stifling something like a whimper in agony. Harry's bicep was really rough.

Louis shrugged it off and looked back at his mom.

"One last question. Are you sexually active?" she asked.

Harry blushed madly and squirmed uncomfortably. "Um.."

Jay clapped her hands, guffawing. "I'm joking. I just wanted to see your reaction."

"Mum!" Louis laughed.

"Okay Harry, so I'm going to start you off with a dose of pharoxetine daily. That's one pill. They can be very sedating. They don't eliminate anxiety completely but they do erase the symptoms," Jay informed, handing him a prescription, "you will get better with time. It'll be okay."

Harry sighed in relief and nodded, taking the prescription. As they exited the building, Louis looked up at Harry.

"You okay, Hazza?"

"Hazza?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"I don't know... Like you call me Lou and I don't know... It just..."

"I love it," Harry chuckled. "Thank you Louis. You're amazing."

Louis frowned. "Stop saying that."

"It's true," Harry pulled Louis's hand off his shoulder, and then he put his huge hand on Louis's back. "I saw what happened with you and Josh."

Louis blushed. "Harry-"

"No, I won't say anything or get involved," Harry shook his head, "but you don't get enough credit for being so brave."