Everglow

2:17 A.M.

"Pare, ala-una na ng umaga, I thought you brought Maine home already? Tapos ngayon, magpapakalunod ka sa tequila?", says Jerald, moving the half empty bottle of Patron from Richard's grasp.

Richard, reaches for the bottle, and takes a swig. He winces from the taste, immediately regretting it. "Je, wag ka makulit please. Just give me tonight, then I'll be over it tomorrow."

"Chard, you won't get over it by tomorrow. You wont get over Maine moving on, not for a long time.",  Jerald snatches the bottle from Richard and pours himself a shot. He drowns it all in one go and sighs. "Pare, totoo talaga yung sinasabi nila na nasa huli ang pag-sisisi."

Jerald was right of course. They all knew he loved her--and it was Richard's fault alone that he never did anything about it. They sat quietly for a while, but every time Richard closes his eyes, he could see all the different versions of Maine he saw in the span of eight years.

"Je, what do I do now?"

Jerald looks at his friend of ten years, pats his back and orders him more alcohol, "Pare, wala na tayo magagawa diyan. You heard her earlier, right? Mahal na niya talaga yang Carlo na yan."

"I know that Je. I don't plan on confusing her, or doing something to break them up. I want Maine happy. I want to see her happy."

"But what do I do with this?" Richard pounds his clenched fist on his chest several times.

"We drink, Richard Faulkerson. We drink."

******

He wasn't much of a drinker, and he actually believed that you should never drink when you're down.

But tonight he will make an exception. Richard was so out of it he resorted to resting his forehead on top of the table, knocking over a couple of bottles of beer in the process. With his arms resting in between his head and the table, he could hear the faint ticking of his clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Pare, would you want to do it all over again?"

"Ano?" Richard lifts his head abruptly, and gets a little vertigo. He closes his eyes for a while and composes himself.

"Naisip ko lang naman, if you were given a chance, would you wanna go back and do things a little differently?"

"Without... a.. doubt", Richard hiccups in between words. "Kung puwede lang Jerald, oo. I have let too many chances go to waste! Sinayang ko yong walong taon eh. Sobrang dami kong katangahan na ginawa. And if given the chance to make things right, I will definitely, without a freaking doubt, take it."

He had a pounding headache, and he held his head in between his hands. He could faintly hear Jerald going on a monologue about how things happen how they are supposed to, and how no amount of regret can turn back time.

I know Je, my regrets can do nothing for me.

But all Richard could think about was how stupid he was for letting eight years pass by without doing anything. He felt like such an ass, being so complacent about her. He was so sure that nobody else could make her happy. He was so sure that it was always going to be him.

God, if  I could only turn back time.

He remembers repeating that phrase over and over again.

If I could only turn back time.

He remembers taking one last swig of the beer and Jerald aggressively snatching the bottle from his hand.

If I could only turn back time.

He remembers his head dropping back to the table.

If I could only turn back time.

He remembers Jerald shaking him, telling him not to cheat his way out of the bill.

If I could only turn back time.

He remembers lifting his left arm so he could check the time.

2:17 A.M.

And he swears that before completely losing consciousness,  the ticking noises his watch made became eerily slower, and he saw the hands of his watch start ticking backwards.

Tick.

Tock.

TIck.

Tock.