Everglow

Epilogue: It's so unbelievable to finally be in love

Menggay ko, my future wife, before anything else, I love you. I love you. I love you. There's pretty much nothing in this world that could change that.

Love, do you remember that night? When I told you everything when I thought you were asleep? I kept telling you how sorry I was because I was unsure about you, about us, for the longest time. I spent so many years listening to people telling me how I seemed unsure, how I was never, and never will be ready. I wasted a lot of years listening to people questioning me about my intentions because I took way too long.

And maybe that's the only thing I should have been sorry for--I took way too long to tell you I loved you when I probably knew the first time I saw you.

But I was never unsure of you--because honestly, you're all I've ever wanted. I would choose you in an instant, I would choose you in a heartbeat. I will always, always choose you.

Maybe I took too long because I was unsure of myself. I was scared to break you, to hurt you. The last thing I ever wanted was to be the reason for your tears, and yet I eventually was. And that's another thing I'm sorry for--for being unsure of myself. I should have known that I was enough for you,  I should have trusted you--because you were always so sure of me.

In the last five years, I would never be able to fully account for the number of times I've been asked if I ever regretted wasting so much time. And each and every time, I tell them: "I don't regret anything, not even for a second." Because none of those years were wasted, my love. Those years were spent loving you each and every day. Those years, hard they may be, taught me how to love you right, to love you better. It prepared me for the day we finally decided that we loved each other too much to stay away, it prepared me for today, it prepared me for the rest of our lives.

Love, I cannot promise a life without hardships. I cannot promise that every day will be happy. The only thing I can promise you is that every day I will choose love, everyday I will choose you. And most especially, everyday, I will let you know.

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My dearest Richard, I think I will always be sorry for the day I pushed you away. To this day, my heart aches every time I remember your face when I asked you to let me go and take care of the important things.

Years went by and people told me how I was better off with someone else--someone more sure, someone who has no doubts.

But those people will never know how much more joy you brought me. You're my angel, Richard. You pushed me so I can fulfill my dreams and you held my hand every step of the way. Even from the beginning, it felt as if God willed us to meet, willed us to love.

They don't understand how with you, despite the difficult times, things always felt right. And leading up to this day, the day we finally become one, I believe that everything that happened, happened for a reason. It was right to have patiently waited for God's perfect timing. You have always meant more to me than happiness. You are more than a piece in the puzzle to complete me, you are the person I will always, always, refuse to live without, you are the choice I will choose to make every single day.

I promise to never let go, even if you ask me to, even when things get difficult. I promise to trust you, and hold on. I promise to never push  you away, and trust that your love is big enough for the both of us.

fin.