Ethereal

Six

"Camila?" Lauren asked while staring at her girlfriend.

Camila looked so beautiful effortlessy. Even when she was laying on the couch in Lauren's oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants that Camila had rolled at the top so they wouldn't slip off her bony hips. When she was just going through her phone. Lauren thought Camila was ethereal. And she wasn't sure Camila believed that.

"Huh?" Camila replied while not even lifting her view from her phone.

"Why are you always so dizzy, why do you keep passing out for?" Lauren asked with a sad look on her face.

Camila tensed up, she's always avoided these types of questions.

"I'm still so tired." The frail girl complained.
Camila did her best to avoid the question but she wasn't sure if Lauren was going to let it go.

"Oh yea, I got you those pair of jeans you wanted from pacsun, go put them on!" Lauren exclaimed as she handed the small girl the light wash pair of jeans that were ripped.

"I'll go try them on." Camila stated excitedly.
This was the first time in a while Camila was actually excited about clothes. She usually hated shopping for them because she hated looking at herself in the mirror. But she really wanted those jeans.

"Ugh!" The small girl tried as she put them on.

"Whats wrong?" Lauren questioned.

"They don't fit." Camila stated in a monotone voice.

"I can exchange them for the next size up Camz it's fine." Lauren said while taking the jeans out the the girls hands.

Camilas mood changed from happy to sad with Lauren's comment. The jeans were too big. Did Lauren really see her as fat? She saw herself the same way.

"Is that a fat joke?" Camila responded jokingly, trying to cover up the sadness she felt.

"No, not at all Camila." Lauren was quick to respond.

"Good because they're too big." The younger girl commented with a chuckle.

"Wait are you being serious, Camila I got the smallest size they had." The green eyed girl responded with a frown.
Camila hated when the green eyes girl called her Camila. She only ever called her that when she was concerned or being serious.

Camila nodded her head hesitantly.

"Well I'm gonna go out." The stated while grabbing her purse.

"To eat?" Lauren questioned.

"No I'm n-not hungry. Just out out I'll go exchange the jeans for something in your size." Camila replied as her stomach growled.
The smalls girls cheeks turned red with embarrassment as she turned around to grab the jeans.

"Your stomach doesn't seem to agree that you aren't hungry Camila." Lauren replied, but Camila was already out the door.

The girls were in London and she smirked as she realized the legal drinking age was 18.
It was already getting dark so hopefully the girls would be asleep when she got back to the hotel. She also ate breakfast and lunch so she wouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach.
Camila wanted to get wasted. She wanted to forget about herself. She wanted to forget all her problems. If she was drunk their would be no more anorexia, no tempation to self harm.

-

She walked into the alcohol store and bought a bottle of pure 100 proof vodka.

"My livers gonna hate me tonight." Camila stated with a chuckle.
The small girl made her way to the roof of the hotel. The roof of any place was her safe spot. She loved feeling like she was on top of the world.