Ethereal

Twelve

"Camz." Lauren's raspy voice called.

"Yeah babe?" Camila responded.

"What happened to my eyeliner pencil sharpener?" Lauren questioned in concern.
Camila groaned and put her face in her pillow.

"What are you doing?" The green eyed girl asked with a chuckle.

"Trying to suffocate myself." Camila replied in a monotone voice.

"So you did take the razor?" Lauren questioned. The older girl grabbed Camila's feet and pulled her out of her bunk.

"Give it to me. Now." Lauren demanded.

"I would if Dinah hadn't have flushed it down the toilet." Camila sassed.

"Just go get ready for the show." Lauren replied while lifting the small girl off the floor. Lauren sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She immediately started to doubt her decision of not getting help for Camila. Was Camila going to get better with just the 4 other girls? The green eyed girl felt conflicted.

"Camila come over here," Dinah called.

"There is absolutely no way I'm letting you perform the way you are."

"Dinah I'm fine. I told you if you didn't tell anyone I would get better." The Latina protested. Camila crossed her arms and Dinah rolled her eyes. The tall girl sighed and pulled Camila back into the lounge and locked the door behind her.

"Camila you're not going to get better on your own. I can see your ribcage. Your thighs are the size of my arm. Your cheeks are sunken in. You're not the same. And you haven't been getting better." Dinah tried. Dinah felt tears well up in her eyes and couldn't stop them from flowing. How could she let Camila get like this? How did she loose so much weight without anyone noticing?

"You made a deal." Camila stated firmly while crossing her arms.

"And it was stupid of me to believe that you would just magically get better." Dinah retorted.
Camila opened the back lounge and turned around.

"I'm fucking trying okay?" Camila let out in a shaky voice.

The 3 other girls looked up in confusion. Lauren jumped up and followed the small girl out the front door, grabbing her jacket on the way out.

"Camz? What's wrong?" Lauren called out in a concerned tone.

"Can you just hold me?" Camila questioned with tears rolling down her face. Lauren nodded and opened her arms for the small girl. Camila's face lit up and she practically collapsed in Lauren's arms.

Lauren held her in a tight hug. One arm on her back pulling her in and the other hand on the back of her head. She felt her heart break when she could hear the small girl start to cry.

"Camz, please talk to me. Don't shut me out." Lauren pleaded.
The small girl lifted her head off Lauren's shoulder and met the older girls green eyes with her bloodshot ones.

"I let you down." Camila cried.

"How did you let me down?" Lauren questioned.
Lauren tucked a piece of hair behind the small girls ear.

"The razor." Camila replied. The small girl looked at the ground and fidgeted with her fingers.

"Camila I don't care about the razor. You're going through recovery right now. Trying to stop self harm isn't going to happen overnight. You're probably going to slip up. I don't want you to think you're doing this alone. I am with you. I'm right here camz do not shut me out. I'm right here." Lauren comforted.