Helpless | Destiel college a.u.

5

– Cas –

I drove to the closest convenience store and picked up three movies and some candy, then walked to the Dairy Queen next door and ordered two "Chocolate Extreme" blizzards.

When I got back to the dorm, Dean was asleep in his bed so I set down all the things on the floor next to it. Grabbing my laptop, I put in one of the movies and pulled my chair over to the side of Dean's bed.

"Wake up," I said quietly, shaking his shoulder gently. "Come on, I've concocted my break-up remedy."

"I'm not in the mood," he groaned, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Please, I brought you ice cream." I reached over and held up one of the blizzards.

"Well, in that case..." Dean sat up and graciously took the offering.

"I also brought junk food and movies," I told him, earning a small smile of gratitude. "But if you're not in the mood, I get it."

"Thank you, Cas."

He moved over and patted the space next to him, gesturing for me to join him. I sat down and centered the laptop between us, reaching over to turn off the lamp on his desk before starting the movie.

"What movie is this?" Dean asked.

"It's called Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, now shut up and watch. I think you'll like it." I smiled, staring at the screen while taking a bite of ice cream.

Turns out, I was right. Dean loved the movie.

We talked about it for a while after it ended, our blizzards long gone, a bag of sour gummy worms being slowly diminished between the two of us. I had changed my position so I was sitting across from him, my laptop on the floor now with our empty, discarded Dairy Queen cups next to it and a plastic shopping bag still full of candy.

"I feel like it was the kind of movie that you need to watch twice in a row to fully understand," Dean commented, pulling out a green and yellow gummy worm from the bag.

After some pointless arguing, we had decided that he was allowed all of the green/yellow worms and I was allowed the pink/blue worms, the red/orange worms to be split evenly between us when the rest were gone.

"I know I'm great at choosing movies, but we're not watching it again tonight," I told him, biting the pink half of my gummy worm first.

"But I'll be stuck thinking about it forever, then." He frowned. "I'll be distracted in all my classes and I'll fail college and you'll have nobody to live with when you move into your own place."

"Who says I was going to bring you with me after college anyway?" I joked.

"It would be cruel to cut off connections with your best friend." He bit a gummy worm in the middle. "Besides, your job won't pay as much as mine and you'll come crawling back to me, begging for a place to stay and I'll be so kind to let you live with me for a while while you..."

"While I what?" I looked up at him, taking my attention off of the mutilated blue half of a worm in my hands.

"Nothing, never mind." He shook his head.

We sat in silence for a while, eating our candy in our weird ways. I could tell by the look on his face that Dean was thinking about something deep and assumed it was Lisa, so I decided to change the subject.

"What's your family like?" I asked, moving the position of my legs, as they had fallen asleep.

"What do you mean?"

"Umm... How many members?"

"Six. There's Sammy, who you've met. He's tall and really smart and I think he's going to do great things with his life. My dad is tough on the outside but once he warms up to you, he doesn't stop caring. Although, he shows it in a tough way too. His fiancée's name is Ellen and she's already like a mom to me. I've known her and her daughter since I was a kid. My future stepsister, Jo, is pretty. To be honest, I used to have a crush on her until our parents got together. She tries to act meaner than she really is. Lastly, Ellen's adopted son, Ash, is a complete computer nerd. He takes MIT classes. He's kind of a pushover. And then there's me."

"Wow." I nodded, taking in all of the information.

Our individual colours were gone so I started dividing the red and orange gummy worms into two piles.

"We're rough around the edges. All six of us have been through some bad times, but we have each other and that's all that matters to any of us," he explained, picking up one of the worms from his unfinished pile.

I smacked his hand but he ignored it and took a bite anyway.

"You messed me up. We organised this so there wouldn't be chaos, Dean." I emphasised my pain that was caused by his un-orderly ways.

"Suck it up, buttercup," he teased, finishing the gummy.

"You disgust me." I squinted at him. "Anyhow... What kind of bad things have you gone through?"

"Why would I tell you?" Dean smirked, knowing he was pushing my buttons.

"I happen to be your physically closest friend currently."

"Yeah, well, the rules say you can't unlock my tragic past until you reach level four of friendship."

"What level am I on now?"

"Umm... Level two." He took another worm from his pile, which I was luckily done making.

"Explain."

"It's kind of screwed up because we were chosen for each other. So level one was moving in together," he started, arranging his candy into one long line. "Level two is wallowing together after a break up. Level three... Helping each other study even though we have all different classes. And level four is taking care of one while the other is sick."

"I've got a long way to go," I sighed, making Dean laugh.

"Tell me about your family now."

"I have three brothers. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucas. Gabe is the nicest towards me, since we're the two youngest. He's a nurse at a pediatrics office. Luci is the oldest and he works in forensic science. Michael is a lawyer. My dad is the CEO of a company he started that owns multiple popular fast-food chain restaurants. And since you won't tell me your tragic backstory, I won't tell you about my mom."

"We can do this again when we reach level four. Except, you'll need to buy a shit ton of alcohol so I don't have to get emotional or anything," Dean declared.

"It's almost two in the morning. We should go to bed," I told him, finishing my last gummy worm.

"You're right," he agreed and I got up to put my laptop back on my desk.

We said our "goodnight"s and I got into my own bed to sleep.

There was no denying to myself that my feelings for Dean were growing. Now he was single and I wanted more than before to make some sort of move to show him my intentions.

However, I lacked confidence and Dean was pretty goddamn straight. I wished with everything I had that someday he would wake up and declare his love for me, although realistically, I knew it wouldn't happen.

go for it cas