To The Guy I Like [™VannaGranger111]

Entry #5_Aug. 24,2016

Dear You,

Are you alright!? I haven't seen you this morning and it got me worried. Are you sick or something? Please tell me no. When I stop by the chapel tomorrow, I'll pray for you.

Anyway, I miss you!
Oh and hey, I saw you last Saturday and you seem to be detached from your friends. I'm supposed to say it's good because they are disrespectful anyway and I easily get irritated by them. But no. I think I'd prefer the times you're with them because you look so carefree. Laughing with them every now and then. You may not notice me, it is okay. As long as I get to see you happy. Is everything alright with you? I wish its nothing serious but if ever you need anything, I'm just right infront of you. Look around, I'm just here. Ready to be your company. Listener. Joker. Whatever you prefer. 😊

You must be wondering why I'm writing today when I haven't even seen you. It's because I remembered this strange dream when I was talking with my friends.

-It was a cold day and I'm sitting at the end of the corridor of our library's 3rd floor. At first, I was alone but then the bell rang. Four handsome boys came up to me and strangely, I recognized them as some friends though I don't really know their names. One by one they greeted me. Suddenly, I got so nervous. The fifth member of their group must be coming because these four is already here. I pretended that I was asleep and true enough, I heard one of the four call out to someone. 'Your boyfriend is here.' I heard them say to me while I sat there with my head down pretending to be asleep. 'What boyfriend are you talking about?!' I shouted within my head. I heard shuffling and felt someone sat beside me. 'Ah, she's asleep.' My relief that he really believe that was outlived when one of his friends say 'what?!'. 'She was just awake a few minutes ago!' I heard them say. 'Oy! You can't fool us.' Giving up, I lazily raised my head and sighed. 'Good morning!' my said boyfriend greeted and I just smiled. I stood up to head to our classroom when an arm snaked its way to my waist. Taken aback, I stepped away from him but he was oblivious to what I did so he just pulled me closer to him. I feel like punching him in the face right at that moment but I just can't. So I just kept quiet and walked with him. When we turned around the corner, I saw you. I SAW YOU AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS WHY IN HEAVENS NAME, AM I NOT BESIDE YOU instead of this guy beside me. You were looking at me and I'm looking at you. My eyes screaming out for you to come save me. Take me away from this guy and punch him for invading the limits. And then you looked away, no expression at all. At that moment, my heart was torn to pieces. I'm deeply hurt. The end.

That was my very first dream that was not like a movie trailer that lasts only for seconds. My first dream having a boyfriend. And first dream of seeing you and feeling things as if it were real. I wasn't that hurt when I woke up but I'm wondering what could've happened next. To be honest, I even felt a bit giddy because of the holding me by the waist part. ( Screw hormones for that! ) Is there really no possibility for us? I mean, we are not even together in my own dream.

If you only knew how hard I'm falling for you...

Love,
Vanna