Million Dollar Dreams

Chapter 21

My mom walked into the room, flowers and chocolates on her arms. She had a huge smile on her face with a glow I can't seem to put in words. Kirk was fast asleep in the chair, she sat next to me on the bed. Josephine was just about asleep, I was breast feeding for the first time, it was a feeling that was indescribable, the bonding was amazing.

She kissed her granddaughters forehead, tears filled up in her eyes, then she kissed my cheek.

"She's beautiful Lexus.." Mom whispered, looking over at Kirk. "You think you'd be the one asleep." She laughed.

"If he had boobs I think I would be." I smiled, looking down at Josephine. "You know, this day came a little quicker than I expected."

"That's how we all felt! When Kirk called me, I didn't know what to think, what to feel.. I was excited, but oh god was I scared for you!"

"Well, I'm fine now. I'm not complaining."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You did almost died Lexus."

I rolled my eyes.

"Stop saying that, I know." I took a deep breath in, and a slow breath out. "I'm not worried about that, I'm here now with my daughter and that's all that matters."

"Can I hold her?" she asked. "I haven't been able to all day."

"Yup.." I passed her the sleeping little girl to her, smiling bright.

"I can't say enough how beautiful she is Lexus."

"She's a blessing." I responded. "I can't wait to bring her home, and dress her up. I want to have professional pictures taken when she's a month or two with me, her and Kirk. Like a family portrait."

"Don't get so ahead of yourself." She said, rocking her granddaughter back and forth. "You know, she's not very fussy, at least so far."

"Hopefully she stays that way. It's bad enough I won't be sleeping much for the next few years."

"If she's anything like you, she'll be a tough little girl. I remember the stories Delia would tell me about Kirk, he was a little whiner. He cried all the time."

"I hope she's like me then!" I laughed, finally getting a chance to laying down. My body was tired, so was my mind. "The nurse should be coming in in a few minutes to bring Josephine back to the nursery. I don't think I'm gonna be able to stay up that long."

"It's fine, you get some sleep." She said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Get as much sleep as you can, alright?"

"Mhm.." I yawned, pulling the covers up to my chin, tucking myself in. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Mom whispered back. "I'll give the baby a kiss for you."


* - * - *


I woke up to the sound of Kirk's voice, well his baby voice. I looked over to see him rocking our daughter back and forth, smiling, laughing, his face just lit up. I slowly say up, still in a little pain. Where the incision was from my C-Section was sore. Kirk saw that I was awake and sat down next to me, showing my Josephine's hair again.

"She gets that from your side of the family." He laughed. "Not mine."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded. All I could do was smile. No words could express how happy and joyful I felt. There was so much love inside of me, just ready to burst out. The sight of my daughter and my fiancé together was just amazing. It brought a giddy tear to my eye.

"She's so beautiful.." He kept saying. "They brought her in like twenty minutes ago. They said she only cried a few times over night."

"That's good, hopefully she'll stay like that."

"Don't get your hopes up.." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You know how kids are."

"Hey.. Is your mom and all that gonna visit today?"

"They were here yesterday, but I'm sure they'll come back. Why?"

"I don't remember seeing them, that's all."

"You was probably in shock from the surgery and all that." He shrugged. "I don't know.. I kinda forget everyone was in the room when I held her." He admitted. "It's an amazing feeling knowing we made this, you know? I can't even form words about it."

"It is pretty amazing huh?" I smiled, feeling the same way he did. "Can I hold her?"

He nodded yes, not really wanting to hand her over to me, but after a few seconds he did. He slowly placed her on my arms, making sure I was holding her right. I shot him a look, like I know how to hold a baby! But it was cute how his fatherly instincts were showing, and just how much he cared.

She was starting to get a little fussy, and whining. At first I rocked her like Kirk was, but she was still whining some. I figured maybe she was hungry, she can't be tired, she just woke up! I took the pacifier out of her mouth, and a bottle in it instead. It was still breast milk, but pumping it into a bottle caused a lot less embarrassment. I guess that's how you can tell I'm a first time mom! I don't wanna just whip my boob out, you know? It's a little weird to me still.

"I thought you didn't want to pump." Kirk said, noticing the bottle.

"I changed my mind."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want someone to walk in and start looking at my boobs. If we're at home that's different. But she's fine using the bottle."

"It's a lot more fun watching you breast feed.." He said to himself, but loud enough where I could hear him.

"Kirk.. Please. They're just boobs." I rolled my eyes. "It's not like you haven't seen them."

"Well, I have. But it's been a while!" He frowned. "And your boobs got big since you got pregnant! You was a handful then, now they're like two handfuls!"

"You're not making this any better!" I laughed. The look on his face want allowing me to get mad. He looked so innocent while he said, and genuine too, he truly meant what he was saying. "You just wish you were her right now." I joked.

"Yeah... But no. I don't wanna drink it, I just wanna-"

"You don't have to go further!"

"Fine!" He chuckled. "Move over so I can lay down."

I moved over to the right side of the bed, he slid in on the left side. Kirk put his arm around me, watching me feed Josephine.

"Tomorrow should be my last court date." He said in a new, more serious tone. "Should be, I'm not sure."

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't it be your last?" I asked.

"Because, we're doing the closing arguments or whatever. Then the judge has to make his decision. What if that takes a long time? He could say to come back the next day or something."

"Babe, you're just worried. If anything, it would take an hour at the most. He's done this before, he knows you're innocent. I don't think you'll go totally unpunished, but you won't end up doing ten years or anything." I assured him. "Just pray, like I've been doing."

"I thought you didn't like praying?"

"No, it's not that. I don't like sitting through church for hours. I love God, and I go to him when I need him." I took the bottle out of Josie's mouth, she fell asleep. I prompted her up in a more comfortable position.

"Good point.."

"Just don't over think it. That's what kills people the most."

A loud knock came from outside the door, followed by the entrance of Jalen and Delia. They both smiled, seeing the baby was already in the room.

"Good morning." Delia smiled, almost running towards me to see her face. "Oh my god, she's so beautiful Lexus." She covered her mouth, not to show her large gasp.

"She really is." Jalen agreed, looking down at his niece. "Looks a lot like Lexus, huh ma?" She nodded. "I wonder what color her eyes are."

"We won't know for a while, till she opens her eyes. Maybe within the next few days."

"I'm starting to get hungry." I said aloud, but meant to say it in my head. "Kirk, can you get me something from the food court down stairs? Please?"

"Yeah, like what?"

"I don't know, but an actual meal, there's money in my purse. Get me as much as you can!" I smiled, thanking him.

"I'm gonna go with you." His mom said. "I'm hungry too. We'll be back soon Lex!"

"Okay, thanks again."

I looked over at Jalen, who's eyes weren't focused on anything except Josephine. He pulled up a chair and sat down. He noticed I was staring at him.

"What..?" He asked.

"What's that face for?" I asked. Jalen shrugged.

"I didn't know I was making a face."

"You look kinda, well, dumbfounded."

"How so?"

"Like you're a little confused."

"Nah, I'm not.." He lied.

"What is it Jalen?" I asked. "You can hold her if you want to. You could have asked."

"No I really don't wanna hold her. I'm afraid I'll drop her." I giggled.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't wanna go there, not right now. Please." He stood up, starting to pace around the room.

"You can tell me anything Jalen." I tried to comfort him. "You know that.."

"Yeah, I know. But some thing are better left unsaid."

"Come on.. Sit down. Talk to me. If there's something wrong, maybe I can help. You're like my brother, you know I'm gonna always look out for you."

"That's the problem!" He finally spilled. "I don't wanna be like your brother Lexus! I don't just wanna be your friend!"

"Jalen..."

"No let me finish since you wanted to know how I'm feeling so bad! I feel hurt, and I know you didn't do this on purpose, but you know how I feel about you! You know how much I care for you. I don't love you like a sister, I love you more as a best friend, maybe one day more then that. But that'll never happen, and I have to live with that. I'm not mad at you, I'm more mad at myself I guess. I let it get this far... I let my feelings get in the way. I can't help but feel that the baby should be mine and yours, not yours and Kirks! Look, I'm happy for you, honesty I am, but I can't help how I feel.." He confessed to me. "I really, really, really, like you. That's three really's."

"I don't even know what to say.." I whispered.

"I shouldn't have even said anything." He took a deep breath, looking stressed out. Jealousy was taking over his body, I could tell.

"I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be." He told me. "I should be."

"Jalen, don't be like that. Just sit down and cool off."

"I can't calm down.. I'm mad as hell!"

"At least sit down."

He huffed and puffed as he pulled the chair back next to me.

"Thank you." I said.

"Can I see her?" He stood up again. I wanted to slap him. Sitting down for twenty seconds isn't calming down. "Like hold her?"

"Yeah." I said, passing her over. He leaned over in from of me. His eyes about an inch away from mine, his lips the same distance, maybe even closer. I didn't know what to say.

Jalen's face creeped in closer to mine, to the point were his lips grazed against mine. They were softer than mine were to my surprise. His breath smelt like peppermint, my favorite flavor of gum. Before I could even speak, his lips and mine were suctioned together. His hand placed behind my neck, while his fingers played with my hair. His tongue playfully brushed up on mine. His softly nibbled on my bottom lip before releasing his lips from mine.

"I've wanted to do that for the longest time now." He smiled, taking Josephine from my arms.

I was lost if words, unsure how to feel about what just happened. I licked my lips, getting the slight taste of peppermint.

Kirk and Delia both walked in with plates of food in their hands. I looked over at Jalen, who's face was full of pride and joy. He smiled as he held her.

"Here's your food." Kirk passed it over to me.

"Thanks." I fake a smile.

"How long has it been since you ate? You're pale.." Kirk asked, concerned.

"Yesterday morning I think. Before I went into labor." I took a few large bites. "Just let me eat."




* - * - *




S/N

This book is almost over :( !!! But any ideas of another story? When I'm done with "Fire We Make" who should I write about?!

And thanks so much for all the reads, votes, comments ect.. I appreciate it! Y'all are the best :)