Million Dollar Dreams

Chapter 22

The first few nights with our precious baby girl was rough, and I defiantly didn't get much sleep. Kirk didn't either, but seeing her pretty little face made it all worth it. Almost everyday there was someone coming over to come see out little bundle of joy, Josephine Marie Randle. My mom couldn't get over the fact of how much she looked like me.

I was more amazed by how fast time had gone by from when I found out I was pregnant to when I had her. I was also amazed by how much Kirk grew emotionally. He was always a good guy, but when he found out he was going to be a dad he matured a lot more. The way he acts with her puts the biggest smile on my face. He acts so gentle when he goes to pick her up and hold her. I've taken so many pictures of then two together, it's the cutest thing. He loved her so much, and you can tell by the way he looks at her, and even talks to her, regardless the fact she can't talk back yet.

Jalen, on the other hand of all this, is a little distant from his niece. It breaks my heart, I have the feeling that it's my fault, though I know I shouldn't. We haven't really made much eye contact or talked, unless we really had to. Kirk wasn't too curious about what was going on, but I think he was preoccupied by Josephine. Delia noticed though, and wanted to know why we haven't talked much, I simply said I've just been tired. He told her he's been stressed about looking at colleges. Knowing her, I'm sure she knows we're both lying.

Tonight, Aaliyah and Delia were both coming over for dinner. Also, it was the night before Kirk's last hearing. We all wanted to spend the night together as a family. Sadly, my mom couldn't make it because she was out of town on business.

"Kirk! Can you check the ham in the oven?" I yelled down the stairs. I was in the babies room changing her and getting her dressed up before dinner. As I stood over her, pulling the dress over her, I heard a little knock come from the door. I looked out of the corner of my eye and Jalen was standing there, he smiled slightly, walking in a little closer to me.

"She looks beautiful." He said, looking down at Josephine.

"Thank you."

"She really does look like you." He paused, picking her up, placing her in his arms. "I wanted to tell you something though."

"What is it?" I asked, fixing the bottom of her dress.

"I'm thinking of moving back in with my mom." Jalen sighed. The atmosphere in the room became cold, and serious.

"Why.. Why would you want to do that?" I looked him straight in his beautiful green eyes.

"Because, I think it's time for me to go back home." He shrugged, opening his mouth as if he was about to say something else, but shook his head and stopped.

"Jalen, what is it?"

He handed me back the baby, shaking his head is if it was nothing.

"Tell me what it is.."

"Lex, I just can't live here, okay?" He sighed, turning away from me.

"Is it because of me?" I asked.

"It's never been because of you." He stopped at the threshold of the door, turning his head back to look at me. "It's a little more then that."

I held out Josephine in front of me, looking straight into her eyes.

"What are we going to do with him?" I shook my head.

I got myself dressed up. I was wearing a black dress that hid my baby fat, and made my butt look nice. It was a V-Neck, and went down to about my knees. And because I'm in my own house, I was bearfoot, and I didn't even care. Josephine's dress was lavender, and sleeveless. She had on a matching little head band that matched.

"Lexus!" Delia called up the stairs. "Get down here! You and the baby! I want to see her outfit!"

"Alright. One minute." I yelled back, picking Josephine back up. She was just waking up from an hour nap.

We both made our way down the stairs to see Aaliyah, Jalen, Delia and Kirk waiting down there for us. I slimed, passing Josephine off to Delia.

"You look beautiful babe." Kirk smiled, giving me a kiss. I looked over to Jalen, who was avoiding eye contact with me. All I could think about was the kiss him and I shared. I sighed, going into the dinning room to set up the plates.

"Jalen, go help her set up the plates please." Delia said to him. "I'd be nice if you'd help."

"No, mom, I got it. I'll help." Aaliyah smiled. "I haven't seen her in a few days."

She followed me into the dinning room, I handed her a few plates. I took the forks and knives, putting them were they belong.

"Lexus.." Aaliyah said softly. "Jalen told me."

"Told you what?!" I jolted straight up.

"About the kiss." She set up the last place set. "He said that he kissed you.."

"Please don't-"

"I didn't tell Kirk." She rolled her eyes. "But I think it's best he moves out."

"I really don't want him to though." I said, sitting down next to her. "I think he should stay her. We'd have two extra rooms without him."

"I suggested he should.. He really likes you and it's not good for him to stay here." She shrugged. "He'll never get over you if he stays."

"So you're the one who got that into his head that he needs to leave!"

"Well yeah, but Lexus-"

"No! Jalen's fine were he is. I know he has them feeling for me, but he needs his brother, okay?"

"No.." She shook her head. "What he needed was you." She pointed at me. "He needed someone he could trust and maybe even love, and he found that in you."

"Me?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, you Lexus. Not Kirk. He went to you when he needed help, right?"

I nodded yes.

"It's because he loves you." She placed her hand on top of mine. "You were there growing up with us, you were probably the only girl who ever showed love to him that wasn't because of his famous brother. You might not have loved him the way he loves you, but you still cared."

"I'll always care for him.." I said. "Always."

"I know that, and so does he." She stood up. "I'll help you get all the food set up."

"Kirk helped me cook."

"He's a horrible cook Lexus." Aaliyah laughed.

"I know, I just had him put everything in the oven." I agreed, laughing along with her.



***




The next morning, at around eight, I was already up, feeding Josephine while watching TV downstairs. She was fussing all night, and I was up regardless worrying about what today would bring.

Kirk came down stairs in his finest suite, and brown suede shoes. He looked fine if I must say. I smiled when he looked over at me. By the look on his face, you could tell he was nervous.

"Babe, come sit down next to me." I patted the couch cushion. He released a deep sigh and sat beside me. "You alright?"

"Yeah.." He faked a smile. "Just a little nervous."

"I can't tell.." I said in response.

"I wish you could be there we all of us."

"Me too, but I'm not bring a newborn into a court room."

"I know, I understand."

"Kirk.. You'll be fine." He nodded his head. "I'm serious.."

"Lexus.. I want to be able to see our daughter grow up. I want to see her go off on her first day of school, and help her with her math homework."

"But you suck at math." I interrupted sarcastically.

"I know.." He rolled his eyes. "But the point is, I ain't trying to miss out on all the things I should be here for. I don't want out little girl to be with out her dad. I wanna be here for her, always." He paused, looking down at her precious little face. "I'm just scared Lexus.. I really am."

"I know baby, I know! I'm scared too.. But I got faith, and I got prayers. God is watching over us all.. We're going to make it through.. I can promise you that." I kissed his cheek. "I made some pancakes if you want some."

"You had time to cook? Ain't she been up a while?"

"Yeah.. But she took a nap at one point and I managed to cook a little bit."

He laughed, smiling a little bit.

"You're getting a hang of bring a mom already?" I nodded yes with a proud smile.

"Hey Kirk?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you talked to Jalen?" I asked.

"Yeah.. But I don't want to talk about that right now to be honest."

"Oh.." I said. "Okay." I looked down at my chest to see if Josephine was still eating, but yet again she was fast asleep. I slowly got up, putting her in the glider.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Kirk who was eating the pancakes I had made.

"Are they good?" I asked him, making small talk.

"Yup." He nodded taking another bite.

"Delia's gonna be here soon.."

"I know.." He said. Kirk put his fork down looking over at me. "Lexus.. Why didn't you tell me about Jalen?"

"What's there to say?" I responded within seconds, unsure what to actually say.

"He told me that you knew how he felt about you.."

"Well yeah, but I figured it wasn't a big deal." I shrugged. "I can't change how he feels."

"I know but-"

"Kirk he-"

"I know Lexus. He told me everything." Kirk rolled his eyes.

"Everything..?"

Kirk nodded yes.

"I just wish you told me.. I ain't mad but I'm confused. Why wouldn't you tell me he tried to kiss you?"

"Kirk, it shoked me too. He caught me by suprise."

"Yeah. I was surprised too. But I could tell he liked you." Kirk shrugged, taking one last bite. "I think I just heard my mom beep." He changed the subject. "I love you Lexus." He said, giving me a kiss, then giving the baby one. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Okay.. I love you too Kirk. Good luck." I smiled.

"Thanks." He took a deep breath. "I'ma need it."

I laid back down on the couch while Josephine was asleep. I was wondering what possessed Jalen to tell Kirk all of this. Why? And why now? Was it eating him alive too? Maybe it's his guilty conscience. I wanted to tell Kirk everything, I really did, but the time to tell him isn't now. Actually, I'm not sure when the time would ever be.

I wanted to ask Jalen, but he hasn't be too keen on talking to me. I just shrugged it off like I always do and just let it go. I wasn't going to let myself get all worked up over if. Kirk didn't seem so mad about it, so why should I? Right?




-



Waiting......

Waiting........

Waiting..............



Have you ever felt as if time was slowing down? Hours turn into minutes, and seconds turn into hours? Every time I looked up at the big clock on the wall, what felt like an hour was mearly five mintues in time. I was pacing back in forth, Josephine, is my arms asleep, or feeding. I look down at her face and hope with everything I have that Kirk gets to come home and see what beauty we've created.

One more time, I looked up at the clock, it was almost time for him to be home. At this point, my heart was punding in my cest. Both Josephine and I are getting quite antsy. I kept trying to notice if I could hear the sound of Delia's car pulling up in the drive way, or the sound of the car doors slamming shut, or even the sound of keys as Kirk goes to unlock the door.

I wasn't sure if I should cook something real quick before everyone came home or just wait and see. Should I get dressed up and dress up the baby too? Maybe we'd go out to eat. I was so nervous, I wasn't sure of anything.


I paced back and forth all around the house. I couldn't help but talk to myself.

"What if he gets found guilty?"

"He did do it after all..."

"But he was protecting me.."

"Does that make it my fault?"

"It is my fault... It has to be!"

"No! No! Lexus.. Stop thinking like that!"

"I just can't help it..."

I sighed. Sitting back down on the couch, not knowing what else to do with myself.

"You need a diaper change." I said to myself, wanting to cover my nose from the smell. I put the baby down on the couch, taking her onesie off to put a new diapar on. "I think I've been feeding you too much." I laughed, throwing her old dirty diaper in the garbage. "You eat just like your father." I joked.

"I don't eat that much, do I?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around to see Krik standing there with a big smile on his face. How did I not hear anyone come in?

"Oh my gosh.." I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying not to cry.

"Please don't cry, you know how I get around emotional people."

I looked behind him, the whoel family was standing behind him. Delia, Jalen, Aaliyah, Queenie, even my mom. They all looked at us and smiled. I saw a tear slide down my moms cheek, and a few fell down mine too.

"I don't even know what to say." I wiped under my eyes. Aaliyah walked past me, getting the baby. "I'm so happy though."

"Baby, this is the start of something new."

"Yeah?" i smiled back through a few tears.

"Yup.. We can finally spend forever together." He said into my ear. "I mean it."

"Forever?"

"Yeah.. Forever. Just me and you."

"And the baby." I added.

"Of course." He smiled, nodding his head. "one big happy family." He said, looking back at everyone.

"I'm looking forward to it." I kissed him softly.

This was the first time I ever heard him claim as something being forever, and the first time in my life I wasn't scared of such permeant commitment. I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him and our daughter, and his family as well. Also, I felt like I finally had a real family of my own that wasn't going to use nor abuse me. And you know, it felt amazing. This life, I could defiantly get use to.









THE END

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS SERIES! I HAD FUN WRITING IT♥