Dear Bully

9

"He's scared of me," Alex tells me, while we're at my house and talking about what happened at lunch a couple days ago.

"Wait but he wasn't afraid to give you that black eye right before we first started talking," I reply confused.

"I kicked his ass after he punched me," he answers confidently, "that's why I wasn't badly beat up. I whipped out some tricks they didn't know I had in me and gave them a scare," he waved his arms, acting as if he was some speedy ninja hoping to get a laugh out of me, but I just just stared unamused as he continued to gloat, "You should've seen them all. He and all other guys ran away as fast as they could!"

"Since you used to be so close to him, do you think you could answer some questions," I randomly blurt out, causing Alex to pause but slowly nodded. I take a deep breath before continuing, "Why do they all hate me so much? And most of all, why did you if clearly you didn't know me well enough? How do we get along so well now, but before you used to despise me?"

"Well-" he hesitated, but only for a moment, making sure his thoughts were all collected and in the right order before answering truthfully, "I can't tell as much as you'd probably hope to hear, but I never hated you and I'm pretty sure none of the other guys do either. The one who planned it is his girlfriend."

"The girlfriend? Why does she hate me?"

"She overheard a conversation of all of us guys talking about you when you first arrived. One of us bumped into you the first day pretty aggressively by accident because the halls were swamped with other students, but that's besides the point, some of the guys made remarks of looks and how you are attractive to them since you were new to school. I don't know what was said since I was leaving as made her presence known. I overheard that she told some wild ass story about god knows what having to do with you, but apparently they all believed it enough to defend and protect her which ultimately led to bullying you."

I scoff, completely shocked at what I'm hearing. I didn't even know who she was or that she existed until she attacked me for the first time with him, "What was the point of doing all these things to me if it was only to defend her? Wouldn't that just make it a one and done situation if it had to do with keeping her feeling secure?"

"She was hoping you would transfer schools again," He shrugs, genuinely not knowing a better response. However, he tries to cool down the conversation, "maybe she was intimidated by your beauty," he winks and then chuckles at his own flirtatious joke.

I roll my eyes, but enticed by the unspoken tension that has grown between us, "Well, would you protect me like he does for her," I look up at him with big, doe eyes as a state the question.

He steps closer, putting his hand under my chin. We stare into each other's eyes for what seems like eternity before he finally responds in a serious tone, "Of course, I won't let anyone touch you when I'm around."

My eyes widen and my heart begins to race. His frame towers over me as I stare up into his dark, mysterious eyes. He stares at me patiently waiting for me to gather a response. I can no longer take the friction between our unspoken emotions for one another. I take a leap of faith with all my confidence at hand, "One last question," He nods and bends down closer to my level to show he's being attentive. I catch myself, unironically biting my lip before finally blurting it out, "do you tell me all of this and help me through it because you like me?"

He's silent, searching for what my answer might be if he had asked me first instead, but I go cold and expressionless, trying to hide my true feelings incase this interaction goes sour. Soon after the awkward silence ends he finally relays," if I didn't, I definitely wouldn't treat you like this."

I blushing uncontrollably followed by a soft, gentle smile slowly making an appearance on my face. I don't know why I was flattered. I constantly try to remind myself he still was one of my ex-attackers and I have my suspicions that he could end up being a toxic partner towards me. Even though I had my doubts, he asked me if I felt the same and I undoubtedly said answered yes.

"Well since we got that step out of the way," he grabs my hand and pulls me in closer. His brow narrows, his gaze grows more intense as he takes the time to appreciate every feature of my face. Finally he clears his throat, "let's just make things official and go to the next one, shall we?"

I bit my lip as my eyes widen and my mind is in deep, nervous thoughts. An eruption of butterflies fill my stomach as I am mesmerized by his way of words.

No, I'm a fat, ugly, slut (the early phone call memories slowly creeping back to me). 

No one wants a girlfriend that's like that. He's joking, right?

I shake away and push back my negative thoughts. My eyes now locked on his hand and body intertwined with mine. His hand cup mine so perfectly, his body close to mine just seemed so right, making me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"We shall," I respond mellifluously, the worries now fully disappear from my face.

In that moment, I didn't know if I made the biggest mistake of my life or the best decision. All I knew was a boy admitted he liked me and I believe his words are speaking the truth. I take in the moment, hoping that nothing will ever break us apart.