Dear Bully

26

We walk to the janitor's closet, I just followed while Daniel led me to the destination. I remember this old routine, I'm not afraid anymore. Even if I was, I didn't know what to expect since he haven't harmed me in quite some time. I stood in the middle of the room picking at my acrylics waiting with anticipation.

Daniel locked the door, immediately. During this time, I stop and watch his every movement intensely. I grow more intrigued as he paces back and forth. His shoes hit the ground at the same rhythmic pattern with each step he takes. I didn't know whether to find this funny or more chilling to this situation. I can tell his thoughts grew more mad as the silent in this dark, cramped room grew more intense.

All of a sudden, his hands clench to my throat, strangling me. I put my hands on top of his, but in the moment I didn't fight back. I just held them there. I watched as my vision turned blurry and his face dimmed and became distorted as it twitched from different emotions.

We stayed in these positions, station like, until he push me away. My weakened body flings to the corner. I cough, feeling my soul slowly return to my body or so that's what it felt like. My ears slowly stop ringing and I could hear the sounds in the darkness. Daniel unknowingly begin to cry and I could hear the squeaking of his back slide down the wall. Still somewhat numb, I pick my head up and watch from afar as I slowly wait for my vision to adjust to the darkened atmosphere.

His hair was far from groomed, the clothes he wore were badly wrinkled, and his face would turn red soon from the sobs he let out. He looked close to what I can describe as reaching insanity. His tall frame seemed so small and powerless now that he was sitting upright in a helpless, hopeless ball with his head tucked into his knees. Weirdly enough, I started to feel bad for Daniel.

Hesitantly, I mustered enough strength back into my body and quietly limped my way closer to him. I wrap my arm around him, trying to comfort him in a way. The cries weaken as he slowly lifts up his head, the tears in Daniel's eyes were now visible to me and his eyes were swollen. I just continued to hug and move my face in the other direction. I may feel bad, but it's still hard to remain long eye contact with him.

"I forgive you," I whisper.

"No," his voice whimpers, his sobs begin again for a moment, "you can't!"

Daniel lightly nudges me away, but I standstill laying at his side.

"Bailey," he puts his hand on my face softly to look at him, "you can't forgive me, I've done enough damage to you."

"No you haven't," I shake my head, even though his statement was factual.

The truth was he did hurt me. Daniel hurt me to a point where I can hear his voice in the back of my mind even when things are fine. I probably even developed acute PTSD from the scandals and tricks him, his ex, and his friends used to do. Yet for some reason, in this particular scene, I felt a sudden rush of forgiveness for him specifically.

"That was the past, while I'll never forget, we still have our own futures coming along. We can change this dynamic. Let's stop being bully and victim, instead maybe we can start being... friends?"

Daniel looked over at me and searched deep into my eyes. I sheepishly smile as I stumble to stand and extend out my hand to him. He grabbed it without question as I pull him up from the ground. Unlocking the door and grabbing the knob, I start to exit the closet thinking this'll be a new fresh start for the both of us, but then he stops me. His warm, firm hands rest on my forearm, he pulls it away from the door. I turn to respectfully face him and find that his is only inches away from mine. I freeze as we grow closer until slowly and gently our lips slightly touch for a moment. I don't kiss back, instead I pull away, pushing him back by putting my hands on his chest

"Daniel, I have a boyfriend," I explain, whispering breathlessly, "I can't do this to Austin."

"He doesn't need to know," He says reaching around me to lock the door again.

 He quickly comes in for another kiss while his hands start to drift in questionable areas. My heart begins to race, I try to force him off of me and resist the feelings he was trying to push upon me, but that didn't slow anything. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them against my back as he pushed me against the wall. He struggled, yet successfully unzipped my pants, following with prying my shirt off, doing this with one free hand while continue to try and fight constantly. This did nothing in my favor, since Daniel is certainly stronger, faster, and more skilled in this field than I am. He continued to force me to do the things that only he wanted in the moment. All I thought of was how Austin would feel about this incident while Daniel had his way with my body.

As soon as it's over, he planted one last kiss on my neck, I finally shove him away, and run out of the space. I go to the girls restroom to try and gather myself, but in reality, I sat there alone crying.

How could he manipulate my mind and body so easily?..