Almost broken(bullied) , A phanfiction

#15 My happy ever after is with you

Phils POV

The lady at the desk gives me the room number and I slowly walk there. Scary thoughts and images race through my mind, wondering how Dan ended up in hospital.

I stop at the door. I breath in. Then I breath out.

My hand shakes and I turn the handle and walk in.

The room is white and light blue. It's a very simple room with a sink, bed and a few other medical devices that were tucked in a corner. I see Dan lying, back slightly propped up, in the bed.

His hair is fucked up, yet kind of adorble. Faggot,  I can imagine Dan saying if he heard my thoughts.

He has a large plaster on his forhead, a few little drops of dry blood visible around the edges. His nose also has a plaster on but the kind for broken, bloody noses. I look down to his hands and see bandaged knuckles.

"Dan." I whisper and run towards the side of his bed.

"I'm not dead. Don't be all soppy and shit." He opens his eyes and looks at me, glaring.

I take a step back. Even when he's lying, bruised and weak in a bed, I am still scared of him abusing, bullying me.

But then, something strange happens. I don't know if I've seen this before. He begins to cry.

Dans POV

~Flashback ~

I left the house and sighed. I was so fucked. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to hurt Phil. I want to touch him, gently. I want to see him smile in the mornings. I want to run my fingers through his soft, dark hair. I want to hear him say 'I love you.' I want to know what it's like to have someone be so kind and soft towards.

But I won't ever. Because I am a complete and utter dickhead. I hit him and hurt him. I even make him hurt himself. I just can't control myself. I get annoyed with my feelings towards him and knowing he will never like me, angers me so I hurt him.

With every sentence I tell myself in my head, I hit the wall with my fists. My knuckles sting so much. The blood trickles down the wall.

This is it.

I'm not going to hurt my Phil again.

I'm going to go.

I throw my head back and slam it into the wall.

It doesn't work so I do it again.

And again.

And again.

And I wake up. In hospital. With bandaged knuckles, broken nose and a stitched up forehead.

~Real time~

"Phil." I'm scared. I'm going to confess. "I got kicked out my home. My mum hates me and I have nowhere to go or anyone to rely on. I've been thinking a lot and last night I went a bit crazy. I tried to kill myself. I slamed my head into a wall, repetitively. I couldn't deal with how much pain I caused you. I love you. All this time I've loved you and bullying you was how I dealed with it. I know you won't ever love me back but I just want you to know. My happy ever after is with you."

He looks at me, shocked. He then turns bright red with blush and has a slight, cute smile.

"I love you too." He blushes. "When you get out of here maybe you can stay with me for a bit and see how my mum feels about it. Then maybe we can be a thing like um boyfriend and boyfriend?"

"I would like that." I smile at him." I'm okay to leave tonight I think"

"I'll wait" He takes the seat next to the bed and keeps his head down whilst blushing.

~Night~

Phil and I walk back to his in silence. After our chat earlier on we didn't speak much at all.

This silent walk to his house gives me time. Gives me time to think.

I don't like Phil. I hate Phil. He is a worthless piece of shit. I miss feeling his soft skin being beaten by my fist. I miss kicking him and watching him cry on the floor in pain. I miss being in charge of him, being dominant. And now, I can't wait to be alone with him.

When we get to his house we both go into the living room and he turns on the lights.

"Well how about we watch a movie or something and cuddle?" He beams at me.

"Oh yeah that's a great idea, why don't we tea bag eachover whilst we're at it. YOU FUCKING FAG." I shout at him.

My adrenaline bubbles up along side my anger.

His face goes from 'super happy blush' to 'absolutley terrified' instantly.

I smirk.

I love this feeling.

"I can't belive you thought I loved you." I spit and step closer to him.

His eyes fill with tears and he tries to step back but I grab his shirt collar.

"Get on your knees." I demand and he weakly, shakingly gets on his knees.

I kick his back, forcing him to lay down.

"Look at me." I kick his face with my foot and force him to look up at me.

His face. I can imagine a pretty black eye and some tears.

"I missed this feeling" I laugh and punch him on his cheek and around his eye.

I kick him twice in the stomach and once in his chest.

He coughs and cries at my feet.

"What's my name?" I kick him in his back.

"D-Dan!" He cries.

"Call me..." I can make him do what I want. So I think. "Call me, Sir."

"O-okay, S-Sir." He cries more and coughs a bit more. "P-please stop, Sir."

"I will never love you." I spit on the floor next to him.

I go upstairs to his bedroom. Regretting what I just did. I'm a monster, again.

Phils POV

After what feels like ten minutes, I finnaly, weakly, get up. I slowly make my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

The physical pain is so bad.

But not as painful as it was to be told he loved me then a few hours later be beat up by him and told he'll never love me.

I wish he'd let me help him with all his anger.

I feel so alone, so confused.

I open up the draw under the sink and reach inside.

My hands shake as the grasp what I wanted. What I miss so much. My happy little blade.