Once Upon A Wish (On Hold)

Chapter 4 Adam{All She Has Left}

        As much as I try not to, I frequently look over at Belle as she drives to my house. Seeing her so distant, almost lifeless, I don’t know what to do. Even though I don’t know exactly what her deal is, hearing her mom talk to her the way she does; it’s enough to break anyone. It’s funny, after all the crap they’ve had to deal with, you might think they’d be closer to each other than before; but they’re not. I think they want to be though. Hearing the way Belle talks sometimes, I know that all she wants is her family back together. I wish I could give her that.

As we approach the building known as my house, the tension in the truck dissipates, and we both sign in relief. Even though I don’t comment on it, I think she notices as well. Belle might very well lose her soul, but one more sigh won’t really affect anything. She parks the truck and I turn to her again. Even in the darkness of the cab, I can tell she’s put up a wall inside of herself again. She’s gotten pretty good at that. Not showing emotion used to just be a “me thing” but, Belle…well in a way, she really didn’t have a choice.

Getting out of the car, I finally notice, she hasn’t said a word since we left her house. I really do feel bad for her, but there’s nothing I can do. This is between her, and her mother. I guess this is why I’m grateful that my dad doesn’t care about me. He’s off God-knows-where doing God-knows-what over in Europe. Yeah, he sends me money and pays for the house and my car, but he’s never around. I’m always alone. Not that I mind really, I like being by myself, but Belle, she doesn’t deserve that at all.         

I grab her had making her look up at me; that’s when I know she’s hurting. The look in her eyes, it’s gut-wrenching. We walk to the door, and I open it. Going inside I notice how much she’s changed so suddenly. Her mask is gone and it really looks like she’s going to break. This isn’t Belle; not the one I know. I can’t believe how one night has changed her. Leading her to my couch, she’s shaking. I pull her into my arms trying to soothe her.

“It’s okay.” I murmur. “You’re okay now.”

“I’m fine,” she says. “Really Adam, I’ll be okay. I have to be okay. People need me too much for me not to be. I have to—“

“Right now, you don’t have to be anything. You always worry about everyone and everything. You try to take care of it all, but right now, someone’s got to take care of you. Let me help you.” 

She looks up at me, and then breaks down completely. I know I’ve said everything she needs to hear right now, but seeing her so broken right now; I just hope I can actually be everything she needs. In all the time I’ve known Belle, she’s never cried before. All of this emotion has been building up for years. I wonder if she’ll ever be the same again.

She cries until there are no tears left for her to make, and even then, she continues shaking for hours after that. Finally, she falls asleep, still in my arms. Picking her up, I carry her to my bedroom and lay her on the bed.

 Crawling in next to her, I stroke her hair, and watch her sleep. So peaceful, she really does look like an angel. Her skin so pale, and in contrast with her hair, so dark and silky it looks like the ocean at midnight, she appears too beautiful to be human. I glance at the clock on the wall. It’s almost 4 am. Normally, she’d be waking up soon to get to the studio and practice, but for now, I just let her sleep. In her dreams, she’s free. While asleep, no one can hurt her. She deserves the peace that she can get in times like this.

Sometime during the night, I drift off as well, still holding her. All I can think is that I never want to see her as hurt as she was tonight. My Belle is hurting really badly, and it’s up to me to fix her. To protect her from her mother and herself…