Mixed Emotions

Ch.40- DJ

Blake's P.O.V

Telling DJ about this is probably going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. Kam and I agreed that I should do it and I'm okay with that. I'm just not ready for his reaction. Yea he's pissed at her whatever but he loved that girl so much. And I know he's already suspicious considering I went there without him and haven't said much since I've been back.

Kam is taking it extremely hard. And as much as i feel for her, this is really bad for our baby and it's really making me nervous.

Yes I'm sad she's gone too but I feel like I don't even have a right to show emotion on this right now. Sam was super important to the people who I love most so I need to be strong for them.

DJ's P.O.V

I don't know what's going on but everyone is being super weird and it's pissing me off. I tried to call Sam a few times just because but her phone is off. Kam won't answer any of my calls and at practice, Blake has been avoiding any type of eye contact. They obviously know something I don't and I'm pissed.

"So are you guys going to tell me what's up or just ignore me forever" I said sitting next to Blake during our water break.

"Actually yea I've just been super stressed with the baby and everything but yea we did find some stuff out." He said never looking at me once.

"Okayyy? So? What is it" I said with an attitude.

"Look man I'm sorry we can talk about this later" he said getting up and running back onto the court.

This is so fucked up. I have a right to know what's going on.

-----2 hours later-----

Kam's P.O.V

I really didn't feel like Blake should have to tell DJ alone so I invited them both over so we can both tell him. I'm honestly still a wreck so I don't know how well this is going to go.

No matter what she did she has still been my best friend my whole life. The only one ever there for me. No matter what it was. Loosing her has been like loosing a part of me and it's killing me.

Not to mention I have a baby inside me that I need to stay healthy for. I know Blake is really worried about that part of this. The baby will be okay I just need some time to calm down and everything will be okay.

----Kam's house----

Blake's P.O.V

I'm really glad Kam decided to help me out on this because I had no idea how I was going to tell him. Just picturing his reaction was freaking me out. Plus this gave me a little more time to think about everything.

When DJ gets to Kam's house I feel myself starting to sweat. My palms are getting sticky and all of a sudden it's unnecessarily hot. I'm just really not ready for this. I just feel so bad.
DJ has never loved anyone like he loved Sam.

Once DJ sits down there is a very awkward silence. Kam and I just exchange long awkward looks while DJ sits there confused switching his gaze very quickly between the two of us.

"So..?" DJ said breaking the silence. I look over to Kam and see her starting to slightly tear up. Fuck.

Once I was about to speak up I surprisingly got cut off by Kam.

"DJ I'm not going to drag this out super long and keep you all curious. You need to know" she said starting to really tear up. "When I got to Chicago I first went to my house. My parents were there and apparently Sam had already been there..."

DJ cut her off. "Why are you crying? What's wrong!?" He said raising his voice a bit. That really bothered me for some reason. Just his facial expression.

Then before I knew it I butted in. "Look man she killed herself" I said way too cold heartedly. I didn't mean for it to come out that emotionless I just. I don't know.

The look on DJ's face was a look I can truly say I've never seen before. A full combination of hurt, betrayal, heart break, and confusion all in one.

He soon got up and walked out. I stood up to follow him but Kam told me to give him his space. That was probably best.

Kam wasn't crying anymore, which was good. That made me feel a lot better. I still got up to go hug her because I could tell she needed it.

After about 10 minutes Kam and I both go outside to see DJ's car gone. We figured he just headed home to think everything through.

I decided to stay the night at Kam's that night. Just because.

I wanted to believe it was just to keep her company. But deep down I knew I mainly stayed for myself. Just too be able to hold her again and be near her. I miss her so much. Hopefully we can start putting things behind us.