Fire and Desire

Chapter 15

"Rea listen .. I ..."

"I nothing drake."

His body tensed as he turned to me.

"Don't FUCKING CALL ME THAT"

"That's your name right? Or you want me to call you baby like Rihanna does, so you can call me 'Frings' right?"

Any sadness that once occupied his face was pushed to the side by anger. Yet his anger had no justification.

I slouched back against the glass doors, new roll up in hand, tears rife and flowing.

" I called the ambulance..," I croaked out, my voice suppressed by the heavy smoke that brewed in my throat , "they saw the bed and knew what had happened. They said it was a rare form of miscarriage...mainly caused by stress."

I felt the blood rush to my head, but I kept it cool. His eyes were burning into the side of me. I could feel it.

"I lost the child I never got to tell you about."

I said it once again, almost as if I was trying to come to terms with again. Trying to convince myself that this was real and true and we weren't going to be a family. Well for now at least.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"

He cried out, leaping up onto his feet, taking advantage of the empty house.

"I .. I do everything for you! I care for you look after you treat you like the queen you deserve to be and you HIDE a pregnancy from me?!"

I twisted my face up in disbelief. He was shouting .. At me?
ME?

"You know what? You know fucking what?"

My raised brows said what for me. He read my face like a Hebrew scripture.

"We been riding for however long and you do this ? To me?!"

He punched the light out on the wall. Glass shattered onto the ground and off the balcony. He grimaced in pain but fought it back as we were plunged into darkness. I heard as he slumped himself into the ground beside me.

His heavy breath filled the air replacing the silence that would've been. I guess I should've been scared.. But I wasn't. He was upset. I knew that.

He scooted over to me and wrapped his arms around me. His black OVO jumper smelt like his whiskey, Virginia Black and Tom Ford. It was an intense smell but it was his. The intensity burned at my nostril hair, but still I found comfort in the smell and his arms.

I wanted to hate Aubrey for me losing the baby. But I couldn't. Not openly anyway. I hated him for the way he was acting. This nonchalant "but we just doing it for the cameras" bullshit. We sat entwined in one another until early morning, when the dark of the sky had been replaced by pale pinks and burning oranges, the sun slowly beginning to rise behind hidden hills.

His bristly chin rested amongst my curls as his breathing was slow and steady. He was deep in his sleep but looked disturbed. Like all the goings on from last night were playing on and on his dream. He looked pained.

I heard an iPhone alert go off and knew it was his. It steady went off for half an hour before he cracked open an eye and tended to it before I did. He sighed heavily and began to undress, his smooth skin gleaming in the light of the rising sun.

I strolled over to him, running my hands along his back and slipping them around his waist from behind. I inhaled him for a moment before he spun around and held me into a full embrace.

He hugged me for a while before breaking it off.

"I need to shower baby.. Tour isn't over just yet." He said while cupping my chin and kissing me softly.

The text he got agitated him, that's for sure. I was sure to find out later but I hadn't slept a wink all night. I undressed and clambered into the King Size bed.

'Some sleep would do me good' i thought as my eyes closed to the sound of the shower water.