Fire and Desire

Chapter 25

My mother?

My REAL MOTHER?

There's only so much shit I could take in a week.

I replayed the voicemail over and over, listening to Gio's every word carefully until Thea walked out the dressing room, as giddy as a child in a sweet shop.

She looked at me quizzically as I sat there with my phone speaker pressed right to my ear.

"Don't even ask," I said defensively.

She shrugged and walked on ahead.

Pulling up iMessage, I sent Asagio a quick text, while slowly beginning to walk up behind Thea.

Me : Hey Gio .. I got your voicemail ... is she .... here ?

What seemed like an eternity and a day passed, before mg text alert went off.

Gio: Sis, no not her physically, just a letter from her.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

But my brows quickly furrowed. How the hell did he know it was from her?

As I began drafting an accusatory text, I paused. Maybe curiosity got the better of him.

But curiosity did kill the cat.

I slide my phone away and tried to focus on the countless shoes, handbags and accessories before my eyes. We strolled through countless sections in Selfridges, all while my mind was running over time.

Did I even want to meet her?

What did she want? Okay..stupid question, I know, but had she seen me before ? Did even even know what I looked like?

Standing in the middle of the food hall, after eventually making our way here, my eyes accidentally fixated on a box of macaroons nestled neatly amongst some expensive looking tissue paper. All the while, the thoughts in my head whizzed around like angry bees in a disturbed nest. This was the cherry on top of the Stress Sundae. As I zoned back into what appeared to be reality, I slipped out an awkward giggle when I realised the waitress behind the counter was watching me, watch the display intensely.
I stepped forward, greeting her warm smile with an genuinely identical one.

"Um, I'll take the box of twelve macaroons please .. if you didn't already notice," I said gently.

She laughed back at me, it was a small one but I could tell she laughed nothing like that outside of here.

"Yes I could," she replies, her eyes twinkling with humour, "all the same flavour or mix and match?"

Before I could even open my mouth to answer, I suddenly heard my name being bellowed out across the wide hall, echoing off the cracks and crevices.

"YOOOOOOOOOO REA YOU GOTTA SEE THESE SHOES GIRL LIKE THESE SHITS ARE SOOOOO CUTE!!"

I frowned with embarrassment - could I take this girl anywhere?

After requesting an all-the-same box and thanking the waitress profusely, I hurried after T as she strode to the escalators and back up to the shoes section, all while tentatively keeping my head down as I felt looks pierce the back of my head.

I loved this girl to death, but one day of shopping with her was one day too many.

I also had to decide whether I was going to arrange to see my real mother. And when.

*****************

After actually grabbing a bite to eat at a cute spot called Vapianos in Oxford Circus, we clambered back into our Uber, dozens of bags in tow. My spirits had been lifted spending some quality time with T. She embarrassed me often enough for me to get over it and she kept me smiling.

As we buckled up and asked for the aux chord, she relaxed back in her seat and turned to me, her chocolate full of intrigue.

"So how are you ... really?!" She asked quizzically, her face softening as her attempted to read my expression.

I paused for a moment, but not a moment too long.

"I.. I'm fine actually," I said avoiding her gaze and thinking of a way steer this conversation away from me, "actually... I'm feeling so fine that I think we should go out tonight. Hit a bar or a club and just .. you know, let loose. I've been working so hard all over the place so let's just enjoy tonight, how does that sound?"

T was literally combusting in her seat. She loved a good party. She let a squeal and dragged me into an embrace.

"YES GIRL! Finally! I haven't been out in like foreeever!"

    *********
I had finished getting ready long before T had. I had chosen a copper coloured satin wrap around dress, that knotted at my hip, with long sleeves. It accentuated everything that needed to be while keeping me comfortable. The colour was complementary of my skin as was my makeup.
My eye makeup was some of the best I had produced on my own. I was used to makeup artists coming in and doing the work for me, but being out here, it was all up to me. I loved it.

After admiring myself in the mirror for way too long, I suddenly began remembering my earlier conversation with Asagio. Pulling out my phone, I quickly let T know I was stepping out for a second for a business call.

The phone rang once before I was greeted by my brothers voice.

R : Gio.

A : Rea, my sister how are you?

R : I'm good, hope you are too. Listen I have to make it kinda quick, I'm going out tonight. Did you open the letter?

He paused. The line was quiet before some time. I now knew I needn't require a verbal answer as this silence was it.

A : Yes.

I sighed slightly.

R : What did it say? Other than what you told me, anything else? Any more information? Why does she want to meet now?

A : It was brief. Hardly introductory, but I can only assume that'll be saved for when you meet her .. if you meet her. She said there was things you needed to know.

R : Oh.

I leant back against the hallway wall. "Things I needed to know?" Like the typical 'why I gave you up' speech? I was 23. This would've been different at 18. At 18, I would've wanted to know her reasons why, I owed her that. But now, I didn't want to know.

R : Oh well I mean, if that's -

A : Oh yeah sis ...

R :,Uh .. yeah what's up? What's wrong?

A : I think I should let you know, although I'm sure you will soon see anyway ... the stamp on the letter didn't come from England.

I glanced at the phone in slight bewilderment.

R : So ...Where the fuck is it from?

I was taken aback by my aggression.

A : It's from Barbados.

I shakily hung up the phone.

Bar....? I needed to get back to LA.

Right away.