Doom Upon All The World

Chapter 34: Decided

      It wasn't easy to come to a decision on anything when it came to Bianca. She always wanted to argue. It seemed to Varric sometimes that she picked fights with him on purpose, just to get him riled and frustrated. "I understand that you want to stay and help but look at what happened today! You really want to stay here and be captured and tortured along with your friends, Varric?" She shouted as he sat on the couch in the rotunda. He pressed his hands to his temples, the sound of her yelling at him becoming severely aggravating. 

     "We need to leave. Soon." She stated firmly. There was a glimmer in her eyes that spoke of desperation. Varric couldn't recall having ever seen it before. She looked scared. But that was impossible. Bianca didn't get scared. This was different though. This was an immense fear for her life that danced in her gaze and pierced his soul. "What do you want me to do, woman? Abandon them? Leave them to die or worse? What should I tell them? 'Sorry, I can't stay cause I've got to save my own ass,'" He replied trying to restrain the anger he felt in his gut. "I don't think so. I'm not just going to leave because you're afraid of a little consequence, Bianca." Varric added as she paced in front of him. 

     Her arms were folded tight across her chest and her face was pinched in an unhappy cringe. She glared at him through those dark eyes, daring him to defy her, to tell her that he would stay here and let her leave. He wouldn't, Bianca knew that. She'd use it against him if she had to but she hoped it would not come to that. "I don't very well give one shit what you tell them, Varric, but we need to leave. We need to go back to Kirkwall, where we're safe." She stepped up to him and looked down as he stared at the floor. She wanted to leave. She had no intention of staying this long and yet he had convinced her. He looked up at her then. She was barely head taller than him standing while he sat. "You think Kirkwall is safe? Bianca, if they find out you're not dead, the first place they're going to look for you is in Kirkwall. They'll look for you where ever I am." He whispered as he took her hand. 

     "They don't know we're here." He added. He looked down at her hand as his fingers brushed over her knuckles. He needed to tell her exactly why they'd stayed so long. The truth, not just his 'Hawke is still here' excuse. He needed to be straight with her. For once he couldn't afford to let his wit guide him. "I have asked you to stay for so long because I am afraid to go back. I am afraid that we will go back and you will be recognized and taken from me again." He muttered. There was a sadness in his voice and Bianca knew he was being genuine. She felt it in her heart but she could not allow him to be so paranoid about it.

     "Don't go getting soft on me now, Varric." She ordered with a sure smile as she held his chin in her hand. He chuckled and looked up at her as he did so. She never took anything sweet or loving seriously. He was trying to be sincere, to show her how much he wanted to be with her. It was so much so that he was keeping her here to keep her safe. "You are impossible, woman." He remarked as he got up and shook his head. He smirked but he felt irritation bubbling in his gut. She sighed as he walked past her to the desk where there was a half empty pint. He picked it up, sloshing around the foul liquid and observing it considerably before sipping much of it down. "You're mad." She commented plainly.

     He laughed hoarsely as he set the cup back down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She rung her hands nervously as he stood in front of the desk unresponsive. She remembered before all of this, before the Inquisition, before Hawke, before they were separated, how he used to act. He wasn't so serious. He was his sarcastic, witty, asshole-ish self but now he was different. When they were together before, it had been a physical entanglement. She didn't have real feelings for him, or she didn't think she did. And she had no way of knowing that he'd fallen so hopelessly in love with her. It wasn't until they were forbidden from seeing one another that she realized she felt for him in a strong way but she doubted he felt the same.

     When she finally saw him again at Skyhold, she figured it out. The way he moved, the way he spoke, the way his anger got the best of him when she told him about what she'd done, about how she'd gotten into so much trouble it all spelled out exactly what she'd been feeling. She hadn't expected to see it in him but there it was. "No." He said plainly. "I'm not mad." He came around the table and stood directly in front of her. One of his hands cupped her cheek, the other holding her around the back to him. His hand lingered only slightly too low and she smirked uncontrollably. 

     "We will leave soon enough, Bianca, but you have to trust me. I need to stay." He pleaded with her, his eyes boring into her, begging her to understand, to stay. "They need me, they need us. Look at all the good you've done for them already, just imagine what else you could do if the opportunity arose. What if they need your expertise? You're the best, fasted, most precise smith to ever walk Thedas." He encouraged with a smile as she hesitated. She admitted that he had a point but she wasn't convinced. 

     "They need you, Bianca." He whispered as he inched toward her. His face was so close to hers she could feel his breath on her. It was warm and sweet yet smelled slightly of ale. His nose brushed hers, nuzzling her as he closed his eyes. "I need you." He added quietly as he listened to the sound of her breath. It was speeding up. He was breaking through. "I hate you." She uttered as she curled her hand around the back of his head and pulled him down on her. She brought his lips to hers and kissed him passionately. She felt the tension in the kiss, the deep burn of love and sensitivity in her gut. It was slow and long and hard but she craved more. "So much." She breathed as she pulled away and he laughed, taking her lips in his again. They were soft and warm in his. He loved the feel of them against him. 

     "You two need to learn how to close a door." Hawke stood in the doorway and chuckled at them as they held each other. She cradled little Camille in her arms delicately as she grinned at them wildly. Bianca blushed feverishly and hid, burring her face in Varric's chest. He turned away from Hawke and hugged Bianca tighter. It had been decided. They would stay, for now.