Doom Upon All The World

Chapter 55: For Old Times Sake

Morrigan had not expected to be glad to see Alistair but here he is, making her smile, making Keiran laugh. She watches him as he sits beside their son. He looks to be in contemplation of something.

Alistair stares at the table as Kieran goes on about his mother's raising him and her odd methods. He hears every word the young man says but he cannot stop thinking about Quinn. It had been years since her death but it weighs on him still. For years they had tried to have a child, an heir to the Theirin throne. He knows the taint will take him eventually. They wanted a child terribly. But having a child with one grey warden as the parent was difficult enough. Producing one between two of them is all but unheard of. He felt terrible, that it was his fault for most of their marriage. Then the Breach happened, Fereldan was thrown into chaos and Quinn threw herself into work and went away, far away.
He always knew where she had gone. Even when Cassandra begged him to tell her, even when Leliana, an old friend, asked him, he would not tell them of where she had gone. It was her mission, her quest. When she heard of the Grand Enchanter having once been a warden and somehow, impossibly, cured of the taint during an expedition through the deep roads with Maric, she had to go in search of it.
He received letters of her findings often. They were short, to the point, incredibly business like. This was the Quinn he knew writing to him. This was a weak creature overwhelmed with grief. Alistair knew that Quinn heard the calling as well as he did. He was able to resist. Part of him was glad that she had gone away. But then it began to become evident in her letters why she had truly gone away.
It was not to study a cure. It was not to keep herself from the threat of the calling. It was not to hide her grief over their lack of children over the years. No. It was much simplier, yet much more heart breaking than that.
She left him because she heard it. She heard it long before Corypheus. He could see the odd looks in her eyes. The headaches she would get were excruciating. Somedays she could not even leave their bed. He realized that this is why those things had happened when the quality of her letters began to deteriorate. She was dying. She was dying and she did not want him to see her suffer.
He resolved himself to go after her when he figured it out. So many of his advisors begged him not to go. The world was too dangerous for the king with Corypheus having just been defeated. He did not care. He went to her.
What he found was worse than what he had feared.
Quinn knew she was going to die. The taint was going to take her. He expected to find her turned into one of those things. He thought he would find her raving mad and that he may have to put her out of her misery himself. No such thing was the case. He found her slumped against the far wall of a long forgotten cabin, thin knife wounds at her wrists, a dagger at her side, and puddle of her own blood beneath her. She was within centimeters of death. There was nothing he could do. With her last breath, she saved for him only a handful of words.

"Another has already given you what I cannot. Find her."

Her words have not left him. They rang out in his head everyday that he woke without her. They call out to him loud and clear as he stares absent mindedly at Morrigan. Morrigan. Quinn spoke of her. The child that Morrigan bore is the only one that he will ever have.
But it was not Morrigan that he wanted. It was not a baby with this witch that he wanted. He wanted a child with Quinn, with his love, his world. He wanted a life, a family with her.
Still...
He cannot deny the appeal of what is here now.
"Alistair?"
Her voice calls out to him in that southern wilder tone and a shiver runs through him. "Are you alright?" Morrigan asks him. He smiles as best he can, giving her a shimmering facade. "Quite. I, uh, I think I need some air." He mutters as he stands and presses his hand on his grown son's shoulder. He feels Morrigan's eyes on him as he exits the castle.
He ends up on the battlements, near a tower. Through one of the windows he can see a desk, an office of sorts, in disarray. The breeze on his face feels too good to go indoors though. Summer in Fereldan is sweltering, merciless, a hardship to many. All those except the few that bear the mountains feel it as if hell has reached the surface of the earth. Here it is nice.
"Too overwhelming for you indoors?"
His silence is broken by Morrigan sneaking up on him. "The boy can be overbearing, yes. But once he gets over the shock he'll shut up. I hope. He is like you that way. Always rambling on. He is like you in a great many ways." He sighs at her words and rubs the tiredness from his forehead.
He looks at her then, wondering whether or not what he wishes to say is wise.
"Did you ever think to seek me out? To let me be a part of his life?" His question is pointed. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the venom from his words. Morrigan looks down at her hands. "Yes. Once." Her response surprises him. He had not expected this.
"After Quinn died."
Her words sink like daggers into his chest. He turns away and looks over the mountains. "I thought, poor Alistair, in his castle, all alone and yet entirely too surrounded." She says in a small voice. He shakes his head. "You seek to mock me even now!" He exclaims. She takes a step toward him with a disbelieving look. "And you are just as stubborn as the last time we saw one another! If you would let me finish you would see that for once my intentions are not entirely selfish." She swallows back her pride as she sees the pain in him. He still feels the loss of her.
"Do not think for a moment that you are the only one that feels the pain of Quinn's death, Alistair." She puts a tender hand on his shoulder. "You are not alone. She was a sister to me as much as she was a lover to you and a hero to all of Fereldan. We too feel her absence. Myself and the Nightengale." She mutters to him in as soft a tone as she could manage, the same tone she used only once on their son. He had been deathly ill and only through much begging and all of her strength and lyrium was she able to bring him back from the brink. A single moment of weakness.
Alistair turns to her then. He smiles as best he can. "Motherhood has changed you. You are softer than I remember." He tells her with the slightest of chuckles. She gives him that wry grin and moves ger hand away from his shoulder but takes a step towards him again. She leans in close to whisper in his ear. "All the sharp edges are still there, I promise you." She whispers. A wary smile crosses Alistair's face along with a light blush. "Ever the seductress, I see." He utters in response taking a step back. This casts a shadow of confusion over Morrigan.
In truth, Alistair cannot deny this new appeal he finds in the Kacari witch. Still...
It has been a long time.
He has not been with a woman since Quinn and even then it was months, nearly a year, before her death that they had last been intimate. He had all of the opportunity in the world to move on but he could not make himself. "I have yet to do so. But I understand your reasoning, Alistair. I will return to Keiran and leave you to your thoughts." She says with a smile and begins to recede towards the stairs.
"Morrigan, would you come back here for but a moment?" He requests, not sure what is in his own mind. She is before him in an instant. "I want to..." He sighs. He cannot put this into words. She puts a finger to his lips, hushing him. "I know." She grins mischievously. "Moving on is... difficult. I don't have much experience as I tend to hold grudges and I've never been in love before but I know that the pull towards staying with what you know can be a painful path." She whispers. He looks her in the eyes then and smiles. "Then guide me from it." He pleads with as strong a voice as he can muster.
She cannot help but grin at this as well. Her chuckle is low and Alistair feels it vibrate against his chest. He leans in and kisses her. It is slow and sweet but as he takes control it becomes heated, starting a fire in her she has not bothered to kindle in years. "You have learned since last time." She mumbles against his lips until they begin to trail down her neck. She leans back, letting him nip at her as he pleases, reveling in the feeling of a man's mouth on her body once more.
She is slightly startled when he lifts her and forces her against the low edge of the battlements. "If I fall, I will have your head." She tells him breathlessly. He laughs to himself. "You will have it anyway." His voice is low and heated as he makes this threat.
She can only chuckle at it though as his hands slide her skirt up over thighs. Her hands fondle the ties on his trousers and they come undone as easily as she uses magic. "For old time's sake, I hope so." She whispers and before she can get the last word out, he thrusts upward and into her. She shudders at the feeling and leaves a breathy moan in his ears. He slows only for a moment, letting them both adjust.
It has been a very long time.
Too long.
He ceases to restrain himself then and kisses the crook of her her neck as his hips connect with hers and she rocks against him. Her breath mingles with his as they climb in desperation and ferocity. His thrusts don't slow and her hands grasp at him, clawing for anything to hold on to. She pleads silently with him not to push her over the edge with his vigor but in these moments all she can think about is his throbbing, thrusting, pulsing length inside of her, slamming into her, forcing her into euphoria, fucking her into passionate release. He loses himself inside her, burying his hurt, his worry, his pain in the memory of the one night they spent together. This is better. This is hotter. This is exciting. The idea that Keiran or Leliana, or anyone in fact, could catch them at any moment only makes him want her more. His mouth latches onto that spot just below her jaw, making her ark into him. As she does this, feeling him hit her fully, his member reaching deeper, tighter places than before, making her moan loudly, he reaches down in between them and runs his long finger down the center of her sex. It touches her core and that's all it takes. She unravels around him, moaning, and bucking, and rutting against him, pleading for more yet wanting for breath. He slows his movements as his climax follows hers in a swift, suddenly, hurricane. It surges over him like a tidal wave and he struggles to make himself slow. They both need a break, a breath.
As she forces her skirt back down, Alistair ties his trousers back up and looks at her, a little awkwardly.
A moment later they cannot help but burst into laughter.

~~~~~~~

In the distance, at the doorway to the castle, Keiran spots his parents on the battlements. He cannot, and doesn't wish to, describe the scene. "Your parents are awfully indiscreet." Leliana startles him. They don't call her the spymaster for nothing. He shakes his head and turns away as their noises reach his ears. "Yes, they are." He walks away.

However, the spymaster's interest is piqued.