Doom Upon All The World

Chapter 14: Anthony

He'd always loved Nicolynn. 

Nothing could sway him from that fact, that truth.  He had never loved Claude like she wanted him to.  He regretted that his feelings made her so unhappy but he would not despise not feeling for her what she so painfully felt for him.  The events leading up to this conclusion being made to him are as follows...

She approached him, a large smile on her face.  Anthony had just come back from the kitchen and was on his way back to Nicolynn after Keiran had woken them all to greet Morrigan.  Her face was clean of the cream that had been on it last he saw her.  He stifled a laugh at the memory of her aggravated, tired face.  He thought simply to pass her by with a fond greeting and a smile but she quickly pulled his attention, forcing him to stop and talk. 

He could tell it was not a normal conversation they were about to have.  The bright blush on her bronze cheeks was enough to convey that much.  Anthony was no fool.  He had seen these looks from girls in Val Royeaux.  They mattered not to him.  Nicolynn held the forefront of his mind always though he constantly had to keep that thought from eating at him while he was away. 

But seeing this look on Claude's face made him uncomfortable.  He'd always seen her as a sister.  To have her look at him with that glimmer in her eye, it put a lump in his throat and an ache in his heart.  "Anthony, what in Thedas are you doing up so late?"  She asked with a grin. Her hand pressed against his shoulder, her fine fingers squeezing the bare muscle beneath.  He was suddenly very aware of his top half being unclothed and his trousers hanging too low.  Her dark brown eyes left his gold ones from moment to moment, roaming down the bare parts of his muscled body. 

He scratched the back of his neck subconsciously, recognizing this as something that his father used to do often, mostly under the scrutiny of his mother.  A shy smile came to his lips as he attempted to give her an answer.  "Just fetching Nicolynn some water."  He hoped to the Maker that the mention of her would throw Claude off whatever mission she's on.  The Antivan girl just smiled on. 

"Well, do you have a moment?  There's something I need to tell you."  He could see the hurt behind her eyes when he spoke of Nicolynn.  She knew what the two of them were up to behind closed doors.  But even Anthony wasn't sure what was happening between them.  He looked around, swallowing the lump in his throat as he scurried for an excuse to go back to bed, back to Nicolynn. 

In the end, he failed.  He nodded with a forced grin and they moved to a table in the main hall.  She didn't try to put space between them and it was quickly wearing on Anthony.  She was too close for his liking.  He'd only just arrived back at Skyhold and already he was feeling claustrophobic.  She sat beside him on the bench at the table, scooting too close.  There was no where for him to go but off the edge so he stayed where he was with anxiety in his gut.  

Her dark eyes bore into him and Anthony felt as if he could hardly breathe.  "I have been harboring something for a very long time."  She rung her hands as she blushed immensely.  Anthony knew where this was going but it hurt him no less.  "Claude,"  He began, trying to spare her some pain.  "Please, let me finish."  She requested and he had no choice but to agree.  Silently, he nodded and she went on.  

"I feel for you something that I cannot hide any longer.  I've known since you left but I didn't know how to tell you.  Now you're back and I have never been so sure that I love you, Anthony."  Antivan's had never been known for holding things back.  But this, this came as a shock, one Anthony had seen coming but was still no more prepared to absorb.  He tilted his head to the side, trying to give her his best smile.  It fell short.  

"Claude,"  He began again, watching the sinking of her face.  "As flattering as that is, I cannot say that I feel the same.  Nor can I admit that I am sorry for it, for I am not.  My heart lies with another.  It always has.  You know that.  Maker, everyone does."  He sighed, trying to let her down as easily as he could.