Journey(an EXO fanfic)

J-Chapter 15

"Sorry Ariana. We're really sorry. Please come back now. We still have our exams remember. And you have to go with us to the concert. You have to support us to whatever craziness we might do in there. Stupid, how can you be like that? How could you do this to us. We're bestfriends right? How could you go just like that? Come back please?"

I still keep hearing that voice but this time I recognized it. It was Jenna's. She's sad because of me. They all are. Oh, I miss them, I want to tell them its ok. Tell them not to worry about me. But I guess that can't be.

Waaah, I never knew that I'm so important to them. Back when I was alive, the three of them we're always together that I thought I don't belong to be with them. They share the same interest, favorites and even have one person as their crush. But all of those just keep them closer than ever. Me, I was left out always. Whenever they talk about Korean Idols, I would just be quiet and wait for them to change the topic to something that can interest me but obviously that doesn't happen often. Whenever they talked how their crush have a girlfriend and, as they say, they are left broken I would just looked at them and tell them its ok, then I would lose interest. I know that I was the problem but I just can't pretend to be interested in something that I'm not.

So I always wonder why they still accept me and let me be with them. Within the four of us I was the outsider so I'm really surprise that they've gone crying for me now. To be honest I'm really touched. If only I've given importance to their interests, to all of their topics, to all of their crushes, to everything in them. I've wasted so much time because I was a fool. I should have enjoyed every moment with them. That's what my parents wanted me to do but I failed them.

Its too late now. All the things that I should have done, all the things that could make me happy and all the things that can make my friends happy. Right now I could just regret on those things, there's nothing I can do.

I just want them to accept that I'm gone now just like how I accepted that I can no longer be with them.

"Hey Jenna, stop crying will you. I'm pretty sure you look ugly now. And how many times do I have to tell you? You have to stop cursing, its not suitable for a lady to be cursing always, especially a beautiful lady like you. You have to stop being sad, all of you, its not like you guys. You're always happy right? Even when you got dumped by your crushes because they already have girlfriends, you can't stay sad for too long. After a few days you'll smile like nothing happened.

Kara, do you remember the moment when your mom and dad went on a cruise? And you were left alone in the house? But then, you throw a two day party without your parents consent and invited all of our classmates and friends just because you're bored? And because of the noise your neighbor reported you to the police, fortunately Ryan ,our naughty classmate was making out with his girlfriend just beside the window of your neighbor in which until now I still can't understand how did they get there. But anyway, Ryan overheard the old lady calling the police and alerted us immediately that's why we have to stop the party and clean the house fast. Good thing the people inside listens fast so when the police arrived the four of us explained to them that there are only 4 persons inside the house and that there are no such thing as a party going on inside. Just the four of us having our perfect Girls night out. Those police officer believed us immediately just because Jenna winked at them and Angel showed her angelic face expression to them. We had a good laugh right?

That time I scolded you for not following your parents' orders to behave. But even though I didn't admitted it. I had fun that night. You guys, kept me alive. You kept me from hurting myself. I'm just thankful that you became my best friends.

LAUGH. Just laugh like always. I want you now to be happy. Don't worry, I accepted my faith now, I'm perfectly fine. So stop that sulking guys. Just move on. I'll feel at ease when you do that.

I now understand how important friendship is. I was a fool for not giving importance to it. But still, I still want you guys to be happy. Go back to what you used to be, you just have to be happy without me. I wish you good luck guys."

I said that out loud. As if they could hear me, as if they could understand, I wish they understand.

This is very hard for me. When I was alive I thought dying will be easy, I thought that dying will make me happy. Guess that's just not it. I sighed in disbelief. Regrets are always in the end as usual.

I wipe the tears from my face. I didn't notice it earlier. I never know I could be emotional like this. I guess I was changed.

I decided to walk down this never ending rays of colors. I just wanted to do something, to keep me from over thinking things, this is really hard for me. And also my heart wants to break whenever I hear their voices.

But as I walk, the colors began to move. At first I though its just illusion but when I stop walking, the colors are still moving. Its like its flowing horizontal, in result it form a horizontal line of colors.

. This is weird. What is happening?

And then one by one pictures flashed, like I was watching a picture presentation.(sorry can't think of anything better) It shows my life, from my childhood until the day of the accident. It was like my memories are being replayed back at me.

A warm flowing tears escaped my eyes when pictures of my happy childhood showed. I missed my parents so much that it aches. I miss their smiles and hugs. If only I could turn back the time, I would just let those thieves get away and won't interfere. If I did that...... If I just did that, my parents might still be alive and then I won't die.

I lowered my head and started sobbing loudly. I fell on my feet. I started blaming myself for doing all of those..for being so nosy. But there's nothing I could do now, but to weep. Anyways, I'm sure I get to see them smiling soon!. I know it, for sure.

I stood up and wipe my tears away. I smiled at myself and finally looked up. My smile faded when I saw the next picture. It was me, I was rushed to the hospital, my body was full of blood. Then another picture, I was in the hospital bed,asleep. And then another, I was still in the hospital bed, but only, my friends are all inside the room this time.

But how can it be?? I'm dead, aren't I. I should be seeing my own funeral right now, not this. Why...? What is the meaning of this. Could it be possible that I'm alive.?

"Ariana, please wake up now. Come back to us. Please.....!!"

There it is again. I hear Angel's crying voice again.

"Don't worry, she's just in comma state. And I assure you therenis a high possibility she'll recover. Her vitals are looking good everyday. Maybe she's just taking her time to rest. Don't lose hope girls."

"Thank you Doctor!" Kara

Comma? I'm in comma?. So that means I'm not dead. I'm still alive but just sleeping??.

I scoffed. What's this drama? I only see this in dramas. There's no way its actually happening to me. Right??
But still I feel so uneasy. What is this mystery? I looked again at the picture.
This time it was only me in the room. I still couldn't believe I was alive. But the screaming truth is right in front of me. Its screaming very loudly and now I finally hear it loud and clear.

......I'm alive....