Anything (Van McCann | CATB Fan Fiction)

21. San Francisco, CA

|Vienna|

The band was playing at a venue called Rickshaw Stop that night. It was surprisingly packed compared to the other venues that the band had played. It was a long, rectangular building with a small area for the band in front, a long bar against one wall and tables and chairs occupying half of the upper deck of the venue.

The band played astoundingly well, of course. Van was standing on the stage with only his acoustic guitar and none of his band members in the middle of the set. He strummed his guitar and sang Hourglass with such warmth and passion which left the room nearly quite the entire performance, if not for the screaming adoring female fans who couldn't contain themselves when Van was singing the verse.

I found myself absorbed in Van's performance too, really listening to the lyrics and the timbre of his voice. I found it funny how he was singing about literally wanting to fuck a particular person all the time, yet, he managed to make it sound so sweet and heartfelt. His eyes were closed throughout the song, but he found me softly singing along to him in front of the stage when he finally opened his eyes which made him smile gloriously. And stumbled the verse a bit. He stopped singing when he realised he sang the wrong verse and continued strumming his guitar and told the crowd to delete any recordings, which made his fans adore him more. The performance sure felt intimate to each and everyone who was in the room, including me.

I relayed my evening to Kate when she phoned me that night, with Mike sitting comfortably next to me. Kate seemed pleased that I was doing very well and that I was able to have fun while on the road with the boys.

"I don't know if you realize this Vienna, but, you do talk a lot about this Van dude," Kate chuckled on the line. "Anything going on with you two?"

I felt my cheeks slowly heated by her question. "What are you talking about? Of course not," I shrugged. Mike immediately looked at me, smirking as he raised his eyebrow like he heard the conversation I had with Kate. I really hoped he didn't. It was a subject that was never really brought up amongst the boys and I'd hate it if Mike was starting to question me too.

"You can't fool me, Vienna. I've known you for years. I know how you are when you're happy or intrigued by something. I am glad you are happy," Kate murmured.

"Uhm, I gotta go. The bus is moving and the line is not that good, Kate. I'll talk to you soon!" I told her.

"Vienna, wait!" Kate laughed. "Don't hang up on me!" She groaned.

"Bye!" I immediately hung up.

Mike was still staring at me when I put my phone down, smirking his way into oblivion. Drop it, Mike. Not you too!

"So..." he exhaled.

"Huh?" I looked at him.

"You and Van..." Shit.

"You know Kate. She likes to tease me with anyone but Seth," I sighed.

"So you don't fancy him then?" Mike nudged me.

"We are friends, Mike. Just like how I am with you," I told him with furrowed brows.

"I've seen the way he looks at you. From the first time you two met, actually. Because if you ask me, I am made up if you two fancy each other," he threw his hand in the air. "Van is a good guy. He is my mate. And you're my mate," Mike laughed.

"Hmm," I pursed my lips, trying to squeeze out a defensive statement from my brain but my telephone suddenly rang. Bloody Kate won't give it up, I thought to myself. I blinked a couple of times when I saw the screen. I blinked again in disbelief when I realised who was calling.

Seth.

That was the first time he ever called since the day he hit me in my apartment. All sorts of emotions instantly washed over me. A part of me was glad that he's finally calling, but the other part of me was scared. I had no idea what his phone call could actually mean.

"I need to get this," I told Mike, bringing myself up from his bunk bed and shuffled my way down to the pantry area of the bus. No one was usually lurking in that area. The boys would always hang out at the upper lounge, where Van and Larry usually sleep.

"Seth," I nervously answered.

"Hey... I hope I caught you at the right time," Seth muttered. The sound of his voice was sending me shivers down my spine. And I wasn't even sure if it was because I loved him or I was scared of him.

"Yeah, I can talk. So, what's up? How are you doing?"

"I am doing really well, actually. The exhibition just ended today and the people who came really loved my work. Do you remember a guy called Garret that we both met while having brunch at this gallery in Manhattan? He turned up and told me that he's interested to host another event for me at his gallery so I can showcase more of my work," he exhaled happily.

"Wow, that's great to hear," I smiled. For a second, our conversation felt normal again. We were actually having a normal conversation without having any sort of cold treatment towards each other. It actually reminded me of why I loved Seth in the first place. He was actually such a sweet person to talk to - so warm and caring. Charming and easy-going. Witty and insightful. I really missed that version of him. "I am so proud of you, Seth. Your dreams are coming true."

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. Things are really falling into places for me right now. I couldn't be any happier," he beamed on the line. My heart immediately ache when I heard how happy he was. He seemed very happy with what he have. And it felt as though I was not part of the "things" that made him happy and contented.

"Vienna, the reason why I am calling is to check on you... if you're okay. How was the tour?"

Stubborn tears were forming in my eyes as I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. "I am okay. The tour is coming to an end but everyone has been really good to me," I told him. "I'll be back from tour soon. I can't wait to see you!"

"Yeah... About that... Uhm..." Seth was stumbling with his words. "Vienna... I've already moved out. I am calling to tell you that I got all of my things moved from your apartment."

It felt like my heart stopped beating. Tears were trickling down my cheeks and breathing was becoming more difficult. "You moved out?" I sobbed.

"Yeah.. Grace asked me to move in with her," he softly murmured. "I am sorry that I have to tell you over the phone."

"You're moving in with Grace? I don't understand Seth. She's married!" I cried.

"She's divorced..." he slyly said.

"I just don't get it, Seth. What about me? And what about us?" I sobbed even harder.

"Do you think that we will ever work out, you and me, Vienna? Look at you. Look at us! we are both a mess," he sighed. "Tell me the last time that we really got along and love each other sincerely. It was long gone. I have to do this. I don't want to hurt you anymore. And I can't deal with your issues anymore. I love you, I do, but I am sorry. I want to be happy too. I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life. We are not good for each other."

"Please, don't leave me," I cried.

"I am sorry, Vienna. I can't do this anymore. I am still here if you ever need me, but I just can't be with you anymore," he sighed.

My heart was pounding and I felt breathing was impossible. The room started spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up. An intense wave of fear hit me and I felt deeply shaken.

Seth is leaving me. Like everyone else in my life, he is leaving me.

"Vienna? Hello? Vienna? Shit!" I heard Seth called me from the other end but I was too choked up to speak. The lights suddenly seemed too bright, everything started to pulse slightly and I felt really nauseated. I ended up falling on my knees and my visions just went blank after that.

He is leaving me. I am alone again.