Anything (Van McCann | CATB Fan Fiction)

17. West Hollywood, CA

|Vienna|

By the time I woke up in the evening, it was already late. I was emotionally feeling a lot better, but I still felt a little sore while stretching out my limbs. I looked around the room and noticed the sliding door at the balcony was slightly open. Mike was probably having a smoke outside. Feeling that I needed a cigarette myself, I headed over to the door and pushed it open, then came to a standstill when I realized it wasn't Mike.

Van was sitting on the floor, with a few bottles of alcohol in front of him, perhaps from the room's mini bar...and a bottle of beer in his hand and cigarette in the other. He was clearly upset. His eyes were bloodshot, his face a little puffy, and he was downing the alcohol in his hand like it was water. Something was very, very wrong. My heart sped up in anticipation.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual. He nodded when he looked at me, like he was expecting that I would find him there. What was he doing in Mike's room to begin with, I thought to myself.

"You okay?" I asked, already knowing he wasn't.

He paused in his drink to answer me. "No." I thought he'd leave it at that, but he surprised me by adding, "Emily and I... She left. We're done."

A multitude of emotions washed over me at the same time, but mostly, I was feeling sorry for him. I wanted to know what happened. I wanted to know why Emily left, I wanted to let him know that I cared about him and I would be there if he needed me to, but I knew non of those would help Van to suppress his pain. Hearing how much I cared about him probably wouldn't help him right now; I needed to let him grieve first. Instead of joining him, I leaned back against the door to look at him. I even rested my hands behind me so I wouldn't be tempted.

Van glanced over at me and I took that moment as a cue for me to leave. "You'd probably need to be alone. I'm just gonna go..."

Not knowing what he'd say, I watched him studying me for a minute. "Please stay. I want you to stay," he said, patting the empty space next to him.

I contemplated if I really should, but looking at how upset he was, I decided to be a good friend and stay. "Okay."

He probably didn't want to talk to me about it, which was fine. I was not ready to talk to him about anything either. I understood not wanting to talk. And I knew I would want that if I were him.

I glanced over at the cigarette box in front of him and then back to him. He was watching me from the corner of his eye. "Want one?" He asked, with a genuine smile plastered on his face.

"Sure," I smiled back. Van took a ciggie out and placed it gently into my mouth. He then took out his lighter from his pocket and lit it for me. I had no idea why his tiny little gestures were making my heart flustered. His bright blue eyes were piercing mine as our face were only inches apart.

"Thanks," I animatedly said. He nodded and went back to drinking his beer.

"You look like you need one. I have plenty for us," he said, handing me a miniature bottle of Jack Daniels. Blinking for a moment, I wasn't sure if getting drunk together was a good idea, but it sounded better than talking for sure, so I took the bottle from his hand and began drinking.

I could feel Van's eyes on me the entire time as we sat together in silence. We didn't talk, just drank and smoke to a point where I realized that Van was smoking a joint next to me. I hadn't realized that he had them with him, but that boy was already drunk and high next to me. I took the joint from his hand, took a hit and let the smoke escaped slowly from my mouth. He flinched a bit, probably surprised by my action and he chuckled. "That's hot."