Anything (Van McCann | CATB Fan Fiction)

24. Hilton Sacramento, CA

|Van|

I pushed Vienna until she bumped against the mattress, our lips still moving together with a near-frenzied intensity. Her tongue brushed against mine, teasing, searching. I groaned, needing more. My fingers roamed down her sides, slid across her ribs, making her squirm beneath me. Reaching down, my fingers fondled to the sides of her thighs. She let out a soft, seductive noise as she wrapped her legs around me and cinched me tight.

Don't do this Van.... Don't do this!

Touching Vienna felt right. Kissing her felt euphoric. I wanted all of her. And I was beginning to think that maybe I always had subconsciously wanted her since the day we met. Vienna dropped her head back and closed her eyes. Christ, she was beautiful. Her breath was as heavy as mine - we were both desperate to be together. I wanted to be inside of her, but the voices in the back of my intoxicated mind just won't shut up, making me hesitant.

You're drunk. She's drunk. Don't ruin this friendship, Van!

There was a raging war inside of me as my mind was uncoordinated with my body. My limbs were reaching every inch of her body, but my mind was resisting her. I was hard and ready for her, but I was fighting the urge to have her. It was driving me up the wall!

Exhaling, I laid on top of her. I could listen to her heart beating rapidly, her hands still running through my hair, which was making me both, blissful and half-mad.

My mind won. I can't do this! I cared too much about Vienna to have a drunken sex with her. I'd have her, but not when she's drunk. I didn't want to be something or someone that she might regret when she woke up in the morning.

Feeling defeated, I immediately stopped touching her, pulling my body away from her. I was lying quietly next to her, trying to catch my breath. Confused, Vienna turned over to look at me. Her eyes were still glazed with desire and impatience. She tried grabbing me again, but my hands swiftly stopped hers.

"I can't do this, Vienna. I am sorry," I sighed, fixing a few strangled knots on top of her messed up hair.

"What?" She blinked.

"I can't do this with you," I murmured, rubbing my face.

Sitting up, a set of watery hazel eyes were looking down at me while I laid still on her bed. Her expressions were laced with confusion and sorrows, it fucking killed me. But I knew I was doing this to save our relationship. This was the second time I had pushed my boundaries with her, but this time, she pushed it even more. I just had to put a stop to it. At least until I can properly figure things out between us. I hoped she knew I hadn't mean to upset her.

I was just doing the right thing...

"I am sorry.... I just thought... You would want..." She trembled, gesturing at the both of us. I do... I do want you, Vienna.

I sat up and gently kissed her cheek. "It's okay. I should go," I whispered.

"I am sorry." She gave a little whimper of protest. Shaking my head, I smiled at her, brushing her heated cheek against my thumb.

"Van," she begged. Truthfully, I'd beg for her too. But I couldn't do it. At least not like this. Not when she was still hurting from her break-up with Seth.

Turning my back on her, I slowly walked out of her room, regretting my decision to ever stop by and check on her. I never understood why I cared too much about Vienna. There was just something about her that got through me.

By the time I got back to my room, Larry was watching some tele on the bed. It's that weird tv show where a bunch of girls were trying to seduce a guy to marry them.

"Lost you at the bar. Did you get mug?" Larry asked, eyes still glued on the screen.

"No, mom," I chuckled, kicking my boots off before crashing onto the sofa next to him. Instant flashbacks of touching Vienna immediately on replayed in my mind.

"You alright, mate? You seem off tonight."

"Yeah. I'm fine," I muttered.

"I've known you for years. I know that stupid face you make when something's bothering you," Larry laughed through his nose. "You're not thinking about bloody Emily still, are you?"

I glanced over at him and laugh softly. "To be honest, no. It's just weird, isn't it? I hadn't thought that much about her. Is that normal?" I asked with furrowed brows, trying to fight the alcohol that was still swimming in me.

"What's normal then? You crying over some bitch who does not appreciate you?" He looked at me.

"Maybe..."

"Don't be a fucking wuss, Van. You now have the freedom to shag anyone you like, guilt free. Enjoy it, lad. Don't feel bad if you're moving on faster than Usain Bolt," he smirked at me, laughing before looking back at the tv screen, added, "Mike told me Vienna just broke up with her boyfriend. Do you have anything to do with it?" Fucking Larry! How does he know everything?

"Of course not. I had no idea what happened," I defended myself.

"I saw you, mate. Always stealing glances at her whenever you could since you lot first met..." he cocked an eyebrow at me, adding, "You then acted all weird around her. So fidgety. You're not your usual self and it's really annoying," he laughed.

"Are you mad? That's straight up a lie!" Saying that was ironic. It was probably the biggest lie I have ever told my best mate. Why must I struggle so hard to deny it?

"So you don't fancy her? Not a tiny bit then?"

"No..."

Maybe I did fancy Vienna. Maybe I did develop feelings for her. Maybe I did care about her. Maybe I did want to make her happy all the time. Maybe I did wish that I would just stop thinking about it. Or stop thinking in general.

Things were really awkward with Vienna the next morning. She was the last one to join us for breakfast at the hotel's cafe, looking like she barely slept. Her eyes were puffy with dark circles, her skin pale, nearly transparent and her lips were chapped. She was looking somber and I'd hate to think if I was the cause of her miseries.

You think too much. She's probably upset about Seth still!

I wasn't sure if I was imagining things but she made sure she was sat as far away as possible from me, barely making any eye contact. She didn't even bother to acknowledge my existence, which was making me anxious.

"Hangover?" Dan chuckled, glancing at Vienna who was sitting in front of him. He might have noticed how miserable she looked too.

"Hmm," she shrugged, as I watched her put a piece of buttered bun inside of her mouth.

"Wait, were you at the bar with us last night?" Bondy tried to recall.

Vienna's eyes suddenly turned livid at the mention of last night like she was reminded of something awful. She immediately steal a glance at me, but it was a cold stare. She never looked at me that way before. Wait, was she mad at me?

"No," she slightly shook her head, still giving me the cold side eye. I was amused by her behavior. I was somehow glad to know that I have an effect on her. That should have meant something... Right?