Only Fools (Camila/You)

The Taste Of You

I called Jordan and told him to pick me up from the hotel immediately. I had to mentally prepare and compose myself before anyone showed up. It was about 1 AM now and I felt super bad about having him pick me up but that was the last thing on my mind.

I felt empty and numb. I felt heartbroken. I can genuinely feel my heart breaking inside my chest. Tears no longer flooded my eyes as I sat in the silence of the night. How could you intentionally hurt someone you love?

Maybe she didn't love me at the time, but we were committed to each other. Maybe I shouldn't be so angry. She has needs of her own that I was not willing to give her at the time. Maybe I was too hard on her. Maybe it didn't mean anything. Of course it meant something. Don't be so shallow. Maybe we can talk it out. NO! Don't be weak. They all believe you're a weak loser virgin. Even the fans think so. Turn. It. Off.

I tried to make a home out of you. But doors lead to trap doors. A stairway leads to nothing. Where do you go when you go quiet? The past and the future merge to meet us here.

I battled with the rational and irrational parts of my conscious. It hurt. All of it. Everything from the battle in my brain to the ache in my heart. I love her. She is my first love, my first kiss... My first heartbreak. I would Protect her with my life. I will love her always. There is no going back to the hurt she has caused.

Everything I am feeling is overwhelming me. I'm on the edge of another breakdown. Women the fuck up you Australian cunt. Don't let them see you cry. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath.. Then turned it off.

The irrational part of my body has taken over. She's a bitch.

JordanThuhBalluh: I'm here, Y/N

I stood up immediately and began to walk out the door with a pep in my step. My tears were dry and I held my head high.

"Y/n wait!" Someone behind me yelled before I could reach the doors. I rolled my eyes and turned around to come face to face with a breathless Dinah. "What, Dinah Jane?" Her eye brows knotted at my sudden change in tone.

"Please don't go. That girl in there needs you, and trust me I'm on your side and what she did was wrong, but leaving like this will only make things messier." She pleaded. "Dinah.. I'm leaving the band." Her eyes widened and quickly began to fill with tears. "SIKE! Ha I got you so good. You were gonna cry." I yelled while teasingly shoving her shoulder.

"Have a goodnight, Poly Princess." I said and walked out before she would say anything else. I hopped into the car and immediately got questioned by Jordan "Are you okay? What happened." My face fell and I shrugged "Camila cheated on me with Lauren." I hardened my face and drowned out the sound of his annoying voice and thought of what kind of sand which I was going to make myself once I got home.

-

"Y/n!" I heard the moment I stepped onto the bus. I felt tiny arms wrap around me and looked down a bit to see a blonde head stuffed into my neck. "Hey Ally." I said with no emotion. "How are you doing love?" She asked sincerely once she pulled away. The crew left the bus to give us our privacy and we sat on the couch. "Where are the rest?" I asked ignoring her question.

"They're all in the back of the bus or in their bunks doing their own thing. I insisted on waiting up here with the crew for you." She explained softly and I gave her a small smile in return. "We've all been very distant with each other since you left. It felt like something was missing. It felt like something was tore from us all. When you hurt, we all hurt." I looked down at my hands and clenched my jaw. "Thank you, Ally. If I had a heart, it'd totally be warm right now." I gave her a wink.