Summer Fling?

Chapter 8: The Letter

*SETH*

I peered over the piece of paper to see Alex practically holding her breath.

                “Would you relax please? Everything is going to be ok” I told her.

                She meekly smiled at me but the look in her eyes was sincere.

                What am I doing? What was I getting myself into?  I felt like I was reading this letter for more selfish reasons than I would like to admit. I just wanted to see how this strange new girl could affect other people considering the odd effect she is having on me.

                I could feel my throat getting dry from the nervous guilt I was feeling.

                “Stop it Seth, you don’t need to think that way” I thought to myself. I wanted us to be friends. I wanted to help her. I wanted her calm and collected.

                I glanced back at the hand written letter  and read on…

My Darling,

                I am so sorry for how things have panned out and I just can’t stop thinking about all the mistakes I’ve made and how they’ve brought us to this point. And I will tell you I’m sorry until the end of time because I’m scared I won’t be able to fix this.

                This letter is not supposed to be sad. The obvious points of this letter are my apologies, my love for you and how much I miss you, but I wanted to focus on the brighter side and let you know the things that actually get me through the day…

                Sometimes when I sleep all I can seem to think of is you smiling in my passenger seat, your curly hair blowing in the wind as you smile widely at me. The thought is better than counting sheep.  Sometimes when I smell vanilla all I can think of is the time at the beginning of summer you baked me every delicious delight imaginable to congratulate me on getting into law school. It’s the only thought that gets me through my school work. Whenever I get heartburn from eating habanero peppers I immediately think of your face with your wrinkled up nose and pouty face adorably shouting at me, asking me why I would eat something that causes me so much pain, over and over again. Unfortunately I eat them all the time now just to think of you.

                These are the hopeless things that get me through my day. I may never have you again, and I will accept it eventually but for now those are the only things I’ve got. I’m hoping your summer away helps clear your head whether your future includes me or not. Just know I’m always here for you, even though the feeling may not be mutual.

                I love you, I miss you and I’m sorry. I hope to hear from you soon.

Love,

Josh

                I exhaled as I finished this letter and realized this girl –this woman, is just at the beginning of her spree of breaking hearts. I felt bad for the guy.

                I looked up at Alex and she was wide eyed now. “Well?” she sputtered.

                I pursed my lips and sat back into the couch still silent.

                Her eye brows furrowed this time and she practically squeaked “Is it that bad?”

                I tried to smile and simply nodded yes.