Broken

Chapter 6: Party

I sit cross legged on my bed in my All Time Low tee and some basic black underwear, listening to my headphones and the low background mumbles of Elaine and Charlotte discussing the party. With one thumb, I chip away the nail polish on the other, one flake at a time until there's nothing left on any of my nails. A sloth-like pace I begun to paint them again with great torture. Just fucking wish they would stay perfect. Stupid fucking nail polish.

My thought bubble explodes as Charlotte pipes up.
"Are you coming with us then?" She asks, ever too hopefully.
I shake my head quickly.
"Wait, you're just going to let Charlie take me?" Elaine questions curiously as she refers to Charlotte. I nod and smile.
"Of course," I say. I squeeze my phone in my sweaty palm and jump as it vibrates, letting a Shinedown song sing out.
I slide my finger and answer the call, hesitating to speak.
"H-hello?"
"Hey girly," Corey says. Across from me Charlie and Laney stare with anticipation and an excessive amount of wonder in their eyes during the awkward minute of silence between Corey and myself.
"Are you going to come?"
"I can't," I say.
"Please come,"
"My father though," I respond quietly.
"You can stay the night. I'll look after you. Charlotte and Elaine can stay too. Everyone else is going home. Please come?"
"Yeah, please can we go," whines Elaine ever so loudly.
"Oh, they're over. Awesome. So...yeah...you'll come?"
"Okay,"
"I'll pick you three up in half an hour if that works?"
"Okay," I repeat. I hang up, lock my phone and toss it carelessly in front of me onto the bed. I lean over, taking my school bag from my desk chair and empty it onto my lap to re-pack the few essentials I'll need like my razors, makeup, phone charger. Sluggishly I stand, pick up some discarded jeans from the floor and struggle to put them on in silence. "We are staying the night," I say softly.
"Do we have to?"
"No Laney, but we can. He will be here in half an hour."

~xoxoxoxo-

The air is sparse, the space cramped as Charlotte, Elaine and I are squashed in the back of Corey's Black mini; and sharing the front with Corey is a metal head kid I've never seen before. He seems pretty nice though I haven't spoken a word since I got in the car. I believe his name is Dom or Dan or something like that. Charlotte was her usual outgoing self, chatting and flirting away with Corey's friend, whom I was now certain that his name was Dom. Elaine sat between us, quiet and nervous as she waited to see Jake. To the best of my knowledge, Elaine hasn't had a boyfriend, nor have I. I've never kissed anyone either, except Corey the other day, which took me by alarming surprise.

Soon we pull up outside Corey's house. The same house he lived in back in kindergarten. Had I known this prior, I would have suggested we walk. I leave the car, bag over my shoulder and pull my sleeves of my hyped over my hands in an attempt to keep them warm from the icy breeze. Elaine sticks close, wary of her unknown surroundings. Dom stands by, introducing himself to me as Corey offers to take my bag. I decline and mumble a greeting to Dom. His head tilts at what I assume is my odd quietness an unusual behaviour.

When we enter his house there's a small group of roughly six people standing around the table of food, nibbling and chatting happily, complete carelessness for anything else other than the current moment. It's nice. I remember what it felt like that not to give a fuck. Now I find myself acting about very little taunt, bruise, cut. Everything. Another small group consisting of three people stand just outside the glass back door, puffing away on cigarettes, the warm smoke rising into the cool night air, bits of ash falling gently onto the grass. A couple of girls I recognise from school are giggling on the couch, sipping from glasses. They notice me and give a smile before continuing in conversation. I'm greatly surprised by this and awkwardly I turn away, noticing a couple in the dark corner of the room passionately kissing the night away. There are more people than I initially thought, which is unnerving. Eighteen including myself, Charlotte, Elaine, Corey and Dom. Immediately Dom and Charlotte take a spot at the bottom of the amazing, large staircase, engaging in an interesting looking conversation. Well, it's observationally interesting at least.
"Hey, it's so good to see you," beams Jake.
"Hi, Jake. You saw me yesterday," Elaine blushes.
"So parties aren't really my kind of thing, didn't you want to go to the games room, play a board game, play Playstation, catch a movie or something?"
Elaine turns to me for approval,the cute, needy look in her eyes. I give a small smile and nod.
"I'd love too," Laney tells him.
"Okay cool. Hello, by the way. It's Cadence isn't it?" Jake questions. I nod in agreement.
"Hello."
He's cute, polite. I can instantly see Elaine's interest in him and why. I grin stupidly to myself as I watch them set off for innocent childish fun.

Alone I slowly look around, trying to calm myself. The blood red walls are filled with many photos of the family. I spot a photo I recognise. Two children with their arms around eachother, smiling as they sit on the edge of the sandbox. Corey and I.
"Cute, so don't you think?" I hear a whisper in my ear.
"It is," I agree. "Very,"
"I remember when that photo was taken. So are you comfortable?"
I shrug my shoulders. Get me the fuck out of here. I'm sorry Corey. Get me out!
"I'll drop you off any time you decide you don't want to stay," he says assuringly.
"No girls?" I finally tell him after 4 minutes of total silence as we both admire the other photos.
"Why the fuck would I invite you and them? I'm not that mean. Do you like Dom, okay?"
"Charlotte seems too,"
" Do you remember him?" Corey asks. I think back to when we were little and we would hang but not a single memory of Dom springs to mind. I shake my head.
"He was my neighbour. We all used to play together. Run around the cubby house playing Star War, shooting our fake guns and colliding our plastic lightsabers together. I laugh. I fucking laugh for the first time in years.
"Oh, that's him," I remember.
"A lot different I know. But he's still as nice as he was then. I think back again to when we were children and how kind Dom was when one of us got hurt. He was a good friend.
Would you like to go somewhere else, Cadence? Quieter, perhaps?"
I think that is a most excellent idea and I follow him up the still magnificent staircase and into the first room on the left. He flicks on a bedside lamp upon entering and sits on the bed, patting it encouragingly. I drop my bag on the floor and comply, taking the spot next to him.
"I'm really glad you came, you know?"
"Why?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
I stay quiet. Not a peep. Isn't what obvious? I wouldn't fucking ask if it were obvious? Fuck Corey.
"I like you, Cadence,"

Slowly he leaned down, hesitating before placing his lips on mine. Shaking, I kiss back. It's killing me to do this. I want to but I can't. It's too much. I breathe heavily when we break the kiss. My heart pounds against my chest, my anxiety sky rocketing.
"Are you okay,"
"Second kiss," I admit shyly. I let him lean in, pushing me backwards as he kisses me,"
"Please don't," I say, pushing against him. His strength overpowers me. My body trembling beneath his.
"Corey, no please dont," I cry as I feel his hand caress my thigh.
"Corey! Stop!"

~xoxoxoxo~

Chemical halo 😊 xx
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