Broken

Chapter 2: Hell

I stand at my open locker and peek to my right. There stands a boy; tall, athletic, broad shoulders, tanned skin and chocolate hair. Corey Evans. I have known him since the beginning of kindergarten and liked him for just as long. He is also older cousin to Jake, Elaine's English class crush. But the number of people who are aware of my mild fondness is zero. That is exactly how it shall continue to stay. Charlotte is my best friend, but she is pushy. She would tell him and that is something that his ears do not have to hear, nor would they want to. He's leaning against his locker, facing my direction, chatting to three girls; two of which, were once friends, a long time ago and the third isn't worth associating with. She's a pathetic conversational piece and too much of a head ache to bother. My next class proves that only all too well. Slowly he looks up, his dark green eyes connecting with mine. No hesitation hits me as I instantly look away and feel my heart pound against my rib cage, fighting for freedom. I shove my Trig book into my bag and shut my locker closed, not once did I glance up, still feeling his eyes glued to me. Silently I walk into the room as the bell rings out through the halls. I take my seat at the back and give a weak smile to Mr Sales. I open my notebook and copy the work from the board as the class lazily shuffles in. "Check this fucking goth out. What a nerdy bitch," Lori spits.
Ah, Miss Lori Taylor, a pleasure as always. I think to myself.
"What a loser," follows Sabrina.
"Oh fuck up, Ortiz," I hear Charlotte say to Sabrina as she sneaks in behind them.
"That's enough girls," snaps Mr Sales. "You should actually take a lesson from Miss Kennedy. Perhaps you could actually pass. You aren't the sharpest triangle in the Trig class."
Mr Sales is smart, wise and funny as fuck. Still, I say nothing as they sit down a few seats in front of me. Corey sits down to my right giving me a sympathetic smile, and Charlotte to my left. They're his friends, sort of what we used to be. Brooke Murphy, the third and final musketeer says nothing as she takes her place with her friends; merely a harmless sheep, a follower, with Lori being the leader of the pack.

As the teacher talks and draws more triangles, I copy everything down, word for word. I love trigonometry. It's my favourite class. I just understand math. As I rule a scalene upon my page, a folded piece of paper lands to the right of my desk. Mr Sales witnesses the notion and smiles, continuing on like nothing happened. I ignore it for a few minutes, until I feel the tap of his finger against my arm. Nervously I stand, taking the note with me. I walk to the front, straight to the teacher and shakily I whisper. "M-may I p-please be excused?" A look of worry spreads across my face.  
"Of course."

Never has Mr Sales ever said no to me, as he has to other students. I can see his sympathy written all over his face and a part of me wonders if he really knows how bad I am. He marks me well and I never get in trouble. Assignments are always outstanding and test are always perfect, yet never has he ever singled me out as an example of a great student although I know he thinks I am. Perhaps he knows I don't need more hassle. It's just more shit to deal with. 'Teacher's pet. Teacher's pet. Loser!' I can imagine the taunts already. This is my best class and he knows that.

I escape from the class and rush to the bathroom, my heartbeat erratic and my breathing heavy, tears streaming down my face. "He touched me, he touched me, he touched me, he fucking touched me," I whisper. I walk into a cubicle and close it behind me. Closing the toilet lid, I sit on it and fish the container from my pocket, still clutching the note in one hand. I open the tub and grab a small shiny piece of metal and close my eyes, pushing up my sleeve. I take a deep breath, still tearful, and drag the sharp edge across my pale wrist. The sting is heaven. I control my pain. I control my pain. In my head I repeat my mantra. You have no power over me. I lift and again I drag it across, making another line. Another for being a nerd and another for being a loser; more and more, till they have progressed from beads of blood to drips. I pull my sleeve down over my butchered arm, feeling complete. I place the blade back into the tub and back into my pocket, before opening the note.

'Cadence', it read.
Can we talk after class?
Corey. x'

I compose my nervousness and head back to class. Walking in, I take my seat as people stare, always. I'd rather they pretend I don't exist...like home. Corey is staring at me with anticipation and Charlotte with great curiousness. A side of her that can at times be, dangerous. She can be invasive, annoying but deep down she means well. I remember that and take it into consideration. She means well and that is the point. She isn't nasty because she tries to be. She just wants to help. I hand her the same note Corey gave me. To my dismay, Lori catches sight of it over her shoulder. "Sir, sir, goth bitch is passing notes to miss trendy troll," she announces loudly to the class. Beside me, bursts of laughter erupt from Charlotte, like Lori told the best joke she has ever heard. Silently in my head, I'm laughing too. Trendy Troll. That's very creative. Did you come up with that all by yourself Lori?
"No idea what you're talking about Lori," Mr Sales replies seriously.
"Sir, you saw it,"
""No idea, what you're talking about," he smiles at as she looks at her page frustratedly and he continues. "Lori, you're proving one sad point to the whole class so be quiet,"
"Yeah, what sad point is that?" She questions. Oh this will be good. I think.
"You're delusional."
Together the class laughs at her. I look to Corey who is doubling over in his chair. We make eye contact and I smile agreeing to meet after class. As I copy down the homework from the board, the bell sounds and with no courtesy the students try to hurry out the door. Interferingly, Mr Sales steps into the doorway.
"Okay, you lot, sit your asses down. You have homework to write. A collective groan comes from the students as I finish up and sit there, looking busy. Charlotte leans over, balancing herself on my desk.
"Do you want me to wait for you?"
I nod slightly and position things back into my bag whilst Mr Sales lets students leave.
After the last person has left, the teacher returns to his desk and Charlotte stands just outside the door, on her phone; probably texting Elaine.
"So," Corey starts off slowly. "I kind of suck at Trig. I just don't get it and Mr Sales suggested that maybe you could help me with some tutoring. That is if you're not busy. Isn't that right sir?"
"Yeah, if you don't mind Cadence. If not I can find someone else."

Suddenly Lori bursts through the door, stuffing her mouth with a sandwich. "Hurry up Corey, what the fuck are you talking to that mole for?" she questions viciously, before pelting crust at my hair.
"I'm coming," he yells back to her. She leaves and I take a deep breath, fighting back tears.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Stay still." I do as instructed and carefully, without touching me, he pulls the bread from my hair. I look to the teacher who pretends that nothing happened as I comb my fingers through my hair, ridding it of any fallen crumbs.
"I do have to go Cadence, but get back to me, please?" he asks, handing me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. He smiles oddly and walks out. Just as I go to leave, Mr Sales calls my name.
"Is everything okay with school?" he asks as I approach his desk. I shrug my shoulders in response. School is school.
"What about home? Is there any drama's there?" I think carefully on the answer for a moment before nodding and whispering. "Yes."
"If you need help with anything or someone to talk to you can come and see me."
"Thank you, sir."
"You're a good student in a shitty place. Don't let the world get you down,"

"Sir, is there anyway I can use this room to tutor Corey. I don't think that home is--"
"Of course, how's tomorrow afternoon, after Trig? I usually hang around after and mark the tests."
"Thank you sir." 

I leave the class and Charlotte and I continue our way to our lunch spot, meeting Elaine on the way.

~xoxoxoxo~