You've Always Been The One (iDubbbz X Reader)

The Hurting Time

You
Your couple days of freedom with Ian were perfect. You two spent most of your time in the room but you did have a nice quick talk. You realized that you were in love with Ian and we're going to tell Jason. You hoped that he'd take it well but in the end it didn't really matter. As you got out of the cab, you kissed Ian goodbye. You began to walk into your apartments lobby when you began to feel sick. You figured it was just nerves. When you got up your apartment you took a deep breath before opening the door. You walked in and saw Jason sitting on the couch. He turned around and raced to you. He kissed you, which only made you feel sicker.

"Hey, how was your trip?" He asked. He seemed excited to see you which made everything worse.

"It was good...hey can we talk?" You said quickly trying not to throw up all of your nerves.

"Yea, I was actually going to ask you the same thing."

"Oh ok, well-" That was as far as you got before he blurted out,

"Look I know things have been bad between us lately and I know it's my fault. I'm always working and I don't make enough time for you and I'm so sorry. I'm in love with you and I can't wait to marry you. I just want you to know that I'm always going to be here. I just wish we could pretend these past couple months never happened." He said.

You didn't know what to say. You didn't want this to change your mind but for some reason it did. You realized that you and Ian had made a mistake. Here was this guy all along. You knew that Jason had always loved you but this just made everything so clear. You had a guaranteed partner for life. You knew that this made no sense and that you were probably just acting on impulse, but no one has ever been this way towards you. No one has ever loved you this much. Jason was the better option. As much as you loved Ian, things would never be certain with him. You would always have doubts and you didn't want to spend your life like that. You needed a commitment and Jason was giving that to you. You figured that this was better than nothing.

"Wow...I, um, I was just going to say the same thing." You lied. You could probably learn to love him though.

You two hugged. It felt foreign and strange but nice. It wasn't the same as a hug from Ian but you could learn to get used to it. Now you had to tell Ian. You absolutely dreaded this. It was times like this that you wished polygamy was legal. You didn't even know how to tell him. You began to feel sick again. You wanted to cry just thinking about it. This clearly wouldn't go over well. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him, you played over the words in your head. You had no idea how to word it without sounding like a heartless bitch. You decided that this would be better done face to face even though it's way harder. You told Jason that you were going to the store and headed off for Joji's apartment. You hoped Ian would be there alone but you were doubtful. The ride to Brooklyn gave you extra time to think. You had convinced yourself that this was for the best. When you finally got there you took a deep breathe before knocking on the door. He opened the door and your heart sank.

"Hey, couldn't stay away, huh?" He joked. You gave him a sad smile and walked in.

"Can we talk?" You shakily asked.

"Yea, what's up, is everything ok?"

"Ian, I can't do this anymore." You began to cry. You knew it was an ugly cry but you didn't care.

"What?" He said with a confused look on his face, "What are you saying?"

"I've just been thinking and this isn't fair to you."

"You literally saw my like an hour ago. How could you have possibly made a rational decision in an hour?"

"Ian, please, just don't make this harder than it needs to be." You said with tears streaming down your face.

"You're unbelievable." He said while walking into another room.

You let yourself out and began to cry harder than you've ever cried in your whole life. Your whole face was red and puffy. The tears were rolling down your cheeks and onto your neck. Your nose began to run and your throat got dry. You tried to be as quiet as possible as you walked down the street. You decided to go into a restaurants bathroom to clean yourself up. You washed your face and re-applied your makeup. You looked in the mirror and didn't like what you saw. You had become a whole other person. You weren't happy in your life and you had just lost the only person you had ever really loved. You were fucked, royally fucked. You began to feel sick again and actually threw up, twice. You rinsed your mouth and began to cry again. This time it was only a few tears. Once you were all dried up, you left and began going home.

Ian
You hated her. No, you loved her. You were in love with a girl you hated. You had no idea what to do. Your first instinct was to pack up and leave. Your second was to cry. You weren't much of a cryer and you didn't want to seem like a pussy but you couldn't help it. She hurt you. You didn't understand. One moment you two were happy and in love, the next she's breaking your heart and you're both crying. You couldn't stand to be in New York any longer. You felt bad about leaving Max and Joji hanging for videos, but you weren't in the right mind set right now. If you hadn't gotten anything done for over a month, you weren't going to get anything done at all. You left a note that said, "Sorry for not saying goodbye, but I have to go. Thanks. - Ian"