G R E E D

P A R T S I X

© Amber Kalkes 2016

Song:"Summertime Sadness" By Lana Del Rey

P A R T S I X

Aunt Kiki was a woman most desired but few had obtained. While a beautiful woman she didn't like the attention she gained from those around her. The neighborhood men practically drooled in her footsteps but it was their sisters she was interested in. The irony of which never lost its humor for me.

When we had lived here I felt as though we were at our happiest, though before Devin was in the picture. Kiki, mom and I were sharing a two bedroom in the downtown area at one point. I was pretty young but I could remember the little things. Like the smells of cooking, the laughter and our weekly trips to the beach. One particular picture on the wall, as I moved down the main hallway, only seemed to emphasis the point.

Kiki's arm around my mother, and her then girlfriend Lucy was on the wall, caught my attention. Mom was dressed in a yellow sundress, hair in a windswept mess and a broad smile on her face as she stared back at me. Kiki was in cut-off jeans, a striped halter top and some of her belly showing as her crazy curls blew across her face with a matching grin to my mom's.

Lucy looked just as I remembered. Blonde, leggy and charming with her shy smile and round wire glasses. She was in an aqua swimsuit and an open plaid shirt with her thin hair piled on the top of her head. I was there too, sitting at Kiki's feet with a pink plastic bucket in my hands, messy ocean tainted hair and a hideous pink swimsuit with a ruffle on the butt. Despite our poor fashion sense we looked happy and that was what made my heart ache the most.

Moving past the picture I let my hands sweep across the hallway walls as I made my way to Devin's room. I didn't plan on waking him. Hell, if I hadn't taking a later flight I would be passed out at this time as well. The sun was still a few hours old outside and it was not my favorite form of the damned day bringer. Honestly, I would have preferred to hibernate the rest of my days if a choice could have been given.

Devin's room was at the end of the hall and I always knew it was his from giant 'D' carved into it. I wanted to give him a great amount of trouble about it but how could I when he had looked so proud about it? Devin wasn't allowed a doorknob anymore or a lock on his door, he couldn't be trusted with that much seclusion but he did have a hand towel shoved in the doorknob hole for an attempt at it. I used it to push open the door and inhaled the scent of his room.

Boys, especially teenage boy's rooms, always smell like something died but to me Devin's room just smelled like him. I missed him so much I barely even noticed anything beyond what I wanted to smell which, was his scent, his very being. A soft smile spread across my face at the sight of him. His messy brown hair all around his head and curled like some roguish shepherd boy and his lightly tanned skin only visible on his arms. I tried not to pay attention to the various scars on his arms, cigarette burns from his more hateful moments. I didn't want to see them if I didn't have to. I didn't want my concern to ruin this moment for me, as selfish as that was.

Devin's room was pretty plain considering his age. A twin bed, with his growing frame spread eagle on it and lightly snoring, a few black light posters, a bed side table with various wrappers and snacks on it and of course a whole mess of clothes on the floor. His dresser was pushed into his closet and the doors were removed by himself years before. I wanted to give him something better than this. He deserved better. No, he deserved the best and as I closed the door shut again, I swore to myself he'd get it. No matter what it cost me.