Im currently trying to re-enter the Wattpad World with a more serious mind set so if you have any comments, suggestions, or advice at all I would deeply appreciate whatever it is you have to say :-) Thanks so much for taking your time to read this, have a wonderful day. -peacelovedance
Sophia’s POV
I held Brayden’s hand as we walked alongside the river, thinking about all the obstacles we had overcome in the year of knowing each other, only 3 months of that time had actually been together as a couple. Our journey had been a long one so far, with no certain future in sight. Thoughts of what might happen ran through my head, and then the memories started flowing back and sucked me in all together.
We started dating beginning of freshman year and our relationship was going well, I mean we had that cute couple look. We were flirty at times, sat by eachother at lunch, talked in between periods, talked for endlous hours on the phone, I mean we were the ish! That is until the day I told Brayden I loved him over the phone.
I, having never said that to a guy before, wanted to make sure I actually felt something before saying it. Maybe it wasn’t the truest love, the kind of love that you drop everything in your life at the moment, get married, have children, grow old, and die in eachothers arms. You know, like The Notebook type of love? I mean common I was only a freshman, but at the same time love is still love. It may have different degrees depending on where you are in life but its all connected - all the same.
Anyways, Brayden never responded, instead saying “bye Sophia” and hung up. The following day at school his friends ran up to me and went on to announce that Brayden didn’t want to go out anymore.
The floor seemed to sway, my thoughts got meddled. Had I heard them right? The news was absolutely crushing, not only had he not said it to my face, but it was so unexpected, so out of the blue. What had I done? Did he not feel the same way? Was I a fool for feeling that way? Or maybe… maybe I just was not good enough. The day blurred on, I sat in my classes attempting to hold back tears, and concealing the ones that leaked through.
Throughout my whole week I just couldn’t get my mind off Brayden, my sweet Brayden. Maybe he was scared to being committed? I had been stupid to let myself fall for him like that, but I loved him, how could he just be allowed to walk away like that?? I wasn't mad neccesarily, just extremely crushed and dissapointed. I felt like I was a failure, like maybe I would never be able to keep a guy. I ended up being too afraid to approach Brayden at school, afraid that he hated me, and I didn’t want that, no not at all.
I filled in the gap in my heart, that Brayden had left, with different boys, I dated the school bad boy, the shy one, the nice one, the jock, the popular one, yet with all of them I had that same feeling of being uncomfortable. I was afraid that with any guy I dated that feeling would always be there, not wanting to be touched, not wanting to talk to them. My relationships only lasted a week tops because I was so afraid. Brayden was always at the back of my mind, but what could I do? He was the only boy I had ever kissed, ever danced with, ever held hands with. He was special to me like nothing I could describe at such a young age, although he had probably long forgotten about me.
One day, out of what I call fate, Brayden and I got placed on the same bus to travel in on a field trip for school. Not having shared a word since that phone call, excitement, but also curiosity, filled me. I could not help but thinking about how the trips events would play out. On the trip my group of friends and his group of friend talked the whole time, Brayden and I even shared a casual word or two. That night, upon arrival at home, I glanced at my phone and realized there was a new number entered in, one I did not recognize. Texting the number, I asked for the stranger’s name. It turned out that one of Braydens’ friends had secretly entered his number in without my knowledge.
Brayden responded asking who it was and we ended up texting back and forth for a couple of minutes before I just stopped responding, wondering what to do. Maybe just being friends wasn’t so bad after all.
“Sophia you okay? You look distracted.” Brayden said, pulling me out of my deep thoughts.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking… about us.” I said slowly.
“Sophia I have a question… do you ever get bored of me?”
Brayden stared at me with a quizzical and worried look in his eyes.
“Bored talking to you? Of course not.”
“No I mean bored of going out with me” He said uncertainly.
I turned and look Brayden straight in the eye and spoke firmly,“Brayden of course not! I could never in my life get bored of you, I love you. Why, are you getting bored of me?”
“Honestly?” he replied. “Not at all, it just seems too good to be true and I guess I just fear losing you is all.” He said with the utmost honesty.
I looked at him with my big blue eyes. “Brayden, I think about the future every day, I’m terrified about what’s to come yet excited at the same time, I just wish I could know exactly what will happen.”
“Yeah me too, like one moment your with me than in a blink of an eye you’re gone. I gotta stop thinking like this.” Brayden said quietly.
I looked at him with sadness apparent on my face. “Brayden, that’s not going to happen though, nothing’s going to change in the blink of an eye.”
He was upsetting me talking about this, the possibilities the future could hold was just too scary to think about.
“Yay!” Brayden said with a grin on his face.
“It makes me sad to think about not having you, so stop!” I told him, playfully pushing him and smiling.
“I know I hate thinking about it too, whether I’m having the worst or best day of my life you can always make me happy, and I promise you, nothing will change in the blink of an eye… I truly love you.” Brayden said, with genuine honesty.
With those words my heart just about melted, a guy had never been so honest with me and the best part was I knew he spoke with the downright truth. Holding back tears of joy I looked up into his lightly tanned face, smiling as if everything in my life was perfect, which it was.
“I truly love you too Brayden”
And there underneath the leafy foliage of the trees, we shared our first kiss.
