A Love That Leaves You Breathless (Brusnop)

Through Sin And Self Destruction

~~~~~~~~Ben's POV~~~~~~~~~

"Ugh, here" I sighed as I gave the cab driver his money. I had gotten a cab home because I didnt feel like drinking and the guys deffinatly did. I grapped my stuff and shoved it into my pockets of my leather jacket before walking over to our bus.  I pulled open the door and drug myself inside, tired and and worn out. I threw my shit on the ground not really caring where it landed. I pulled off my jacket and looked up. I saw Danny laying weirdly on the couch, his eyes were closed and there were dark bags under them. He looked like shit. I walked closer and saw the drugs layed out on the table. I gasped and started to panic. I didnt want to lose Danny. I couldnt. Tears started to fill my eyes as I ran to him. "Danny! Wake up! Danny please! What the fucking is going on?! Danny!!" I yelled into his face. Yet he still didnt move. I shook him and yelled. But still nothing. My eyes were blurred by my tears, stranged crys and sobs escaped my lips.  I felt sick to my stomache as I put my ear to his chest and heard nothing.

I fell off danny sobbing as I grabbed my phone out of the pocket of my jacket I had dropped before and

called 9-1-1

"9-1-1 what's your emergancy?" A female voice rang over the line

"I Need help, I need an ambulance. My friend he-hes not breathing I think he over dosed" I sobbed into the phone pulling danny's body on the ground with me

"Sir? Where is your current location?" She rang with very little urgency in her voice

"Were in a parking lot of a target off high way 101" I said pulling danny onto my lap and crying over him.

"Alright sir. Help is on its way. Please stay on the line" she said

"A-alright" I said my voice unsteady. I put my phone on speaker and laying it on the edge of the table.

I pulled danny up to my lips and kissed him softly, feeling cold blankness replace the

warm comforting feeling they usually possed. 

"Danny please, please don"t die. I need you... I love you you please dont leave me.... not now. . Please I love you.." I kept repeating letting the tears flow freely

I held danny close to me feeling his cold skin on mine. I didn't know how long had past but I heard a nock on the door.

"W-were in here!" I yelled tears seaping from my face

The next thing I new three men in uniform entered the bus and went to tend to Danny. I was hopeful but I still wasn't fooling even myself. Danny was dead. Gone. Never coming back. and worst of all.... it was my fault.

"Sir, I know it may be hard but I'm going to have to ask you a couple questions."

I looked up into the kind eyes of the police officer before me, the tears still streaming down my face. I kissed danny on his forehead one last time and put him down on the bus floor. I followed the man outside and we stopped by his potrol car.

"So could you explain to me exactly what happend?" He asked me

"That man i-in there, he is my boyfriend. He is strong willed and determind..... I never thought I would see something like this happen to him. I-I guess I should start from the begining though" I said and let out a huge sob bringing on a whole nother round of tears. "Yesterday... I told danny I didnt love him I called him just another fuck.... I lied, because I was afraid to be gay.. I hadn't spoken to danny since yesterday... and to day I went out with the guys to go get a drink. I didn't feel like being there. I didnt want to drink... so I stayed there for two hours doing a whole lot of nothing. I called a taxi cab to bring me home, I payed the man and grabbed my stuff.... and t-thats when I saw him... he was laying there. Emotionless, he wasnt moving. I went to him and tried waking him up but he just wouldn't. I brought him close to me and held him.. and thats when you got here... oh god, this is all my fucking fault" I said letting my tears flow down my face and into my hands. The memories hurt even more the second time.

"Im sorry son, it must be really hard. but this is definatly not your fault, so don't think that way..." the officer said as he put his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

I made and effort to stand, almost immediately losing my footing and nearly falling but the Officer helped steady me. Just then the guys drove up. The shock regestering on cameron's face and the sobritey being nocked into the others. The car stopped and Cameron jumped out running to me.

"BEN! BEN! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEND?!?" Cam screamed at me

I looked up at him with tears still running down my cheeks, my eyes still red and burning.

"D-Danny's dead Cam..." I  sobbed

"No.... no... FUCK!" He said punching the side of our bus and begining to cry with me

He walked over to me and hugged me

"Why?" He asked in a strangled scream

The guys staggered up close behind us.

"Ayye whass going on?!" James slurred

Cameron let go of me and turned around

"Danny's fucking dead!" He yelled, making that harsh fact even harder to ignore

I slowly sunk to my knee's, 'Danny could't fucking be dead.... I was cuddling with him, having some of the best moments of my life just yesterday. But I couldnt fool myself.... I saw danny's dead body with my own two eyes, I held him in my own hands' I was thinking but then I was snapped back into reality by Danny being carted out on a streatcher. I ran over to him, I looked his pale face dread filling me. I could physicaly feel myself breaking.

"Can I please, please just have a moment" I pleaded with the paramedics

"Sure Son, take all the time you need" they responded walking over to there ambulance.

"I'm so so so sorry Danny. I love you, I need you. This is all my fault. I-I love you Danny" I crashed my warm soft lips onto his cold chapped ones letting them slightly linger before pulling myself away from him. I lightly wrapped my arms around him asCam and the rest of the guys came up behind me.

"Y-You have to let him go,  mate" Cam said putting a hand on my shoulder

"I can't just let him go..... I've already dont that once." I replied in a shaky voice.

Cameron lightly tugged on my shoulder and I knew I had to let go of Danny..... this time for good.  I lightly kissed Danny on his forehead and backed away with a  new crippling wave of sobs and muffled screams coming over me. I watch them load him into the ambulance and leave with the potrol car following closly behind them, and they were gone almost as soon as they had come. I screamed, I wanted to run, I wanted to cry until I couldn't cry anymore. But most of all I wanted Danny. I wanted him to hold me in his strong arms and tell me it would all be okay. But I just couldn't have that. Not anymore, Danny was dead and gone. The love of my life was gone. I fell down on the ground and pulled my knees to my chest, sobbs still escaping my lips. And then suddenly everything was black, and quiet. Suddenly everything was peaceful.

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