A Love That Leaves You Breathless (Brusnop)

Hold On Forever

"It's time to fly home guys..." Cam told us.

I didn't want to go home.. I didn't want to be alone.. but James gave me his spare key to Danny's so I could go and  grab my stuff before they cleaned everything out. Although I'm Pretty sure they all knew I would sleep there as long as I possible could so I was able to have him around me in a sense.

"We'll come and visit you every now and again.. don't lose touch Ben.. Asking Alexandria or not we're still all brothers" James pleaded

"I know guys.. I'll make sure to call every couple days.." I trailed off completely knowing I wouldn't keep that promise.

"Lets go, were going to be late getting on the plane" Sam pointed out

We got on the plane and I  dozed off

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"Were home mate" Cam grumbled shaking me.

"Ughhhhhhhhh" I groaned

I grabbed my shit and walked off the plane.

We all got our stuff from baggage claim and James's girlfriend came and gave us all a ride home. I said goodbye to all the guys and said I would call them later. I got to the door of danny's house and braced myself before I put the key in the lock and slowly opened the door. I grabbed my bags and as soon as I went in the living room I was hit with all the memories of me and Danny. All the small joke kisses he would give me by the fire place, or when we would cuddle and watch movies. When I think about all our memories.. I realise that I have loved Danny for as long as I could remember. I went into his bed room and remembered all the tickle fights and hugs and kisses on the cheek. All the time we would cuddle and sing and play guitar. I remembered the song he wrote me that he made me promise to never tell anyone about because it was a love song and he didn't want people to think it was weird that he wrote it for me. He was my best friend and the love of my life and its a wonder how I didn't see it until a couple months ago. I dropped my bags and fell face first on his bed, breathing in the intoxicating smell of Danny. I whisled but remembered that Danny's dog is with his Mum.

I got up and went to the bathroom. And After I went pee my curiousness got the best of me and I opened up the cabniet above the sink. It's not qualified as snooping anymore, right? I looked at all the bottles and saw pain killers for his back and advil. Nothing weird. I closed the cabinet and went back to the bed room. I pulled out my phone to try and distract myself and I let a small smile creep to my lips as I looked at my screen saver of me and danny on tour. A warning flashed up that my phone was about to die.

"Fuckkkkkkkkkkk" I sighed before I opened the drawer on the side of the bed.

"What the fuck is this?" I said looking at the piece of paper with James, Cam, Sam, and my name on it. I pulled it out along with the red velvet box and put them on the bed. I pulled out the Iphone charger and plugged my phone into the wall to charge.

"Hmmm" I grummbled unfolding the paper staring at the chicken scratch writing that undoubtbly belonged to Danny

'I love you guys so much... But I just can't do this anymore. The days are a blur and the only thing that makes me feel is Ben. His smile lights up my world but I'm coming to the sad realization that I will never have his heart. I'm his best friend, nothing more. Yet nothing less. Tell my family that I love them. They were amazing people to have in my life. And as for the fans... they are one of the best things in the world, they have brought me higher then I ever could have dreamed of.. even when I was busy coming down. What ever you guys do.. don't give up on our band. You guys have to stay together and keep making music. Weather you are in AA or not. I love you guys so so much. And dont forget that no matter what... and I guess the only thing I regret is never telling Ben what I feel. But I can't put this off anymore. Goodbye guys.. goodbye everyone. Never forget to smile for me, because that's all i relly want for or from you.

~Dsnop.      6/16/13'

By the time I had finish tears were running down my face. I was choking out sobs... that was two months before we had gotten together.. he had wanted die and I didn't see it.I was a horrid best friend. I opened the velvet box and found razors. Two of them covered in blood and three others that looked like they had never been used. In that moment I think its truely safe to say I have never felt more alone or confused.

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Poor Ben poor Danny ;-; some of this stuff actually makes me sad to write.  Annnnnnyyyyywwwaaayy... Don't forget to share, comment, add to library, and vote ♥♡

-TylerCarter4L