Walk In My Stiletto Shoes!

Chapter Fifteen-

"Maybe keeping the baby isn't such a good idea." I said to my aunt as we were sitting at the doctors office. It was my first doctors appointment since I found out I was pregnant. They were going to try and figure out how far along I am. I also need to make my decision today on what to do. I haven't paid much thought to it. I have been so convinced on keeping it. It's just the choice on trying to fix things with my mother or having the baby. 

"Brooke Carter" The nurse called me in. I made sure my aunt followed. Dylan was with us, but he sat in the waiting area.

"Don't be crazy." My aunt said on our way to the room. "Keeping the baby is the best choice. Your mother is just being selfish and will get over her issue someday if were lucky." 

The nurse did some bloodwork, and did an ultrasound. The ultrasound was amazing. The baby looked so tiny. It made me realize that this is reality. I got butterflies in my stomaach and it felt like sparks were bouncing off of me as I stared at the screen and amiled from ear to ear. 

"That's mine?" I asked the nurse then looked at my aunt.

"Yes hunny, that's your baby." My aunt assured me. 

"It looks like a peanut." I laughed. "It's making me hungry."

"We will go out to eat once we are done." My aunt said.

The nurse printed me off a picture and asked my aunt to go to wait outside the room while the doctor and I discussed things about the baby. This is it. I thought to myself. I have to decide what i'm doing now. Then my mind flashed back to almost three weeks ago. "Get rid of the baby and we will try to work on things." my mother told me. Then I went all crazy and was willing to end my life and the babies. What would of happened if Dylan didn't show up? This thought scared me. I wouldn't of been able to see the cute little peanut sized baby today!  I was so happy when the baby was on the screen. 

The door opened and the doctor came in. She asked how I was feeling and if any symptoms have kicked in yet. 

"Only all of them." I stated. "But, I haven't been gaining weight, suprisingly."

"I'm sure that will come soon enough. Have you been eating properly?"

"All I do is eat." 

"Well that's good I guess. Just remember you need to eat healthy."

I nodded and smiled as I started to look around the room at pictures of unborn babies. There was ultrasound month to month pictures, facts about pregnancy, and even pictures of things that could happen to babies before they are born. 

"Are you planning to keep the baby?" There it was. The question i'm scared to answer. 

"I'm quite certain I don't want an abortion." I started. " I'm just unsure about raising the baby or giving it up for adoption. I'm currently living with my aunt. My mother disowned me because of the baby. The father is a whole different story, but he chooses not to be around, nor do I want him around. It's just there's so much going on, with dad being gone, school, and people trying to make my mind up for me it's complicated. I've had crazy thoughts and been making selfish, crazy decisions, including commiting suicide. I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed." I decided to end it there. I feel like i've already said too much. The doctor doesn't care weather or not I keep the baby. She just needs an answer so she knows what to do next.

"Well, " She began." I'm going to refer you to a counsellor. I think if you had the right person to talk to and got the right advice and help, your decision will be easier. I know your father pretty well, and I know he would want this grand baby no matter what the situation is. So, i'm going to get the counsellor to call you and make a few appointments, it's completely up to you weather or not you got to them all, but I recomend you try it, you can quit anytime, but try to stay until you feel well enough to make your decision. I'm also booking you an appointment for a months time for more tests. My secetary will call you."