Niall.
It's been a month of hell. A month of pain, lies and tears. A month of absolute bullshit.
I hadn't worn a T-shirt in so long. I had a reason though... I'd decided hurting myself was a good idea. It worked, whenever I made a mark it would just seem like whatever was hurting me didn't hurt for a while.
Everyday I sat with Harry, snuggling up to the Cheshire boy whilst he told me I didn't need to cry because Zayn wasn't worth it
But Zayn was worth it, he was oh so worth it. Harry had seen my cuts... He wasn't happy about them and he completely ditched Zayn, Michael, Calum... And even Louis.
Harry never left my side. Every lesson he'd drop me off the pick me up... Sort of like a body guard.
But we never just walked. He'd wrap his arms around me and tell me that I was looking better than usual or that I was beautiful... The last one always made me smile
Harry was something special. He was misunderstood... Something I wish Zayn could have been. Harry never let go of me, ever. He picked me up every morning and would hold my body to his all the way to his car. And when he drove he'd hold my hand.
A few times I walked to and from school with him, having him cuddled me and even carry me home once... Why couldn't I love Harry? Why did I have to love Zayn? Especially when I had a real angel watching over and protecting me.
I had to admit... Harry was good looking. Not as good looking as Zayn but nonetheless Harry was good looking.
The usual lot of nicknames had been use for me. Except I was given boo, something Harry said Louis used to call him when he was younger.
Whenever Harry called me boo he'd light up because I'd call him Hazza back. I never got close with Harry the way I had with Liam intimacy wise.
Only once did I ever kiss Harry... But because I thought that I could use him to forget Zayn. It hurt Harry when I told him that because he wasn't gay and didn't want to be used but then a week later he found out about me cutting and he tried his hardest to help me
But my love for Zayn didn't die... Not even a little bit. Harry's been so good to me, I don't know what I'd do without him. Louis had also left Zayn, he's with Liam now and last I heard they had another argument.
The entire country knows about Zayn's manipulative ways and the entire school despises him. Teachers target him in class, deliberately lower his grades and when I heard how many things he begun failing I wanted to just hug Zayn but instead I hugged Harry.
All I ever spoke about was Zayn too. Harry never complained, he'd always listen and nod, smile and laugh at the perfect time to make me smile at his horribly cute laugh or his cheeky crooked smile.
"I miss him" I mumbled, burying my face into Harry's neck
Harry didn't answer, he waited
"Is that wrong?"
"Of course not boo" Harry pulled me away smiling as he Eskimo kissed me
I don't know how many times Harry had made me giggle or smile or laugh... But it was far more times than anyone else ever had
"You're awesome Haz... You know that?"
"Duh" Harry rolled his eyes
I laughed again, my head falling into his chest as I became silent. I'd recently changed my laugh too... Just to be closer to Harry.
Instead of throwing my head back I'd cuddle Harry and then push my head toward him. He'd always take my body in his hands and pull me a little closer so I had the perfect reach. My laugh was perfect to Harry, and I was happy about that
