Bittersweet (Wolfstar)

Three

R E M U S

If it hadn't looked like Sirius Black was going to throw up or pass out, Remus would have stayed in the church. But, however, it did appear as though Sirius Black was going to throw up or pass out. Maybe both. So Remus followed him, unsure of what he was going to say once he caught up to the boy. He wasn't sure he could even bring himself to say anything. Still, he chased him, fully prepared to run for as long as his legs could take him.

It didn't take long, in reality. Sirius sat at the base of a tree, head in his hands, knees up to his chest. This made him look smaller than he is. Almost child like, which didn't bother Remus. Maybe that would help him talk to the older boy. He sat beside him, not saying anything for a while. Neither one of them wanted to break the silence. It was a comfortable kind of uncomfortable. Where you know once the silence is broken with words, everything will go wrong, but, for now, it is okay.

"How did you know them?" Sirius asked, slightly skeptical about filling the void.

"Nymphadora. My girlfriend, or...whatever. She was friends with them for a while because of her second cousin or something. She brought me along when she was with them quite a bit. They were close." He explains, his voice already tired and feeling awkward in his mouth. He hasn't spoken a string of this many words together since the last time he tried to commit suicide. It felt strange.

"Dora? She's my second cousin or something. You're her infamous boyfriend? Every time I was around her, she only talked about you. Adorable, really. Then...oh..." Sirius glances at Remus with a soft kind of look. Not only had Sirius lost someone close, so had Remus. "When she died... two months ago...You were the one who spoke at her funeral. It must be hard. Just after your mum. I'm sorry." Sirius wasn't one to feel sorry for anyone, especially not strangers. Every time he spoke to Remus Lupin, though, it was like a whole new Sirius came out. Flirty and different and sorry.

"Yeah. I mean, she was your cousin. You should be worse off about it than me...I feel like it's my fault, but I know that isn't possible..." He plays with grass, wishing he had enough courage to face Sirius. He hadn't known he was Dora's cousin. If he had, he surely wouldn't have talked to him. Sirius is glad he did. Despite Remus being his dead cousin's ex boyfriend, he still found him alluring. Maybe he shouldn't.

"It's not your fault." Sirius says after a short silence, "It's nobody's fault, really. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad. Even Leukemia." Remus looks at him like he is an idiot, eyebrows raised. "I'm not into God or whatever bullshit religion that saying seems to come from, I just have to believe things happen for a reason. If they didn't, James and Lily would have died for nothing. To leave their one year old son behind. So, yeah. They've got to happen for one reason or another." He adds, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't mean to offend if you believe in God, but I don't think you need any sugarcoating." Remus shakes his head.

He wished that to be true, that it all has a purpose, but knew that if things did happen for a reason, there was absolutely no reason for either of them to die. Especially not at the hands of a man they believed to be a friend. Peter Pettigrew had gone crazy perhaps, taking a knife to James' throat and threatening to spill his blood if Lily did not give him their baby. James told Lily to run and keep Harry safe, and she did. Peter killed James a second after she had turned to go upstairs. Lily screamed, which is what kept her baby alive. That alerted the neighbors to call the police. Lily had just been murdered, stab wounds all over her chest, when Sirius arrived. He had been invited over for dinner. Pettigrew heard him and fled, leaving the baby, with an odd scar on his forehead, and the bodies behind. Pettigrew had written in his suicide note later that week that he was told by the devil to kill their baby or else he would be sent to Hell, but the guilt of killing his two old friends was too much for him, so he took his own life.

Sirius entered the house to find James, his body mutilated and bloody. He had to find Harry. That was his first thought. He ran up the steps to find Lily in the same state as James, but not dead yet. She was gasping for air with blood pooling around her. "Harry. Get Harry." She whispered at Sirius, and he did as she wished. He grabbed the crying baby and phoned the police, his heart and mind racing. He sat by Lily, trying his best to stop the bleeding, until she passed in his arms.

The picture of his best mates are burned forever into the back of his eyelids.

"I guess." Remus shrugs.

"I guess." That is all Sirius says, leaving them both to think about Nymphadora and James and Lily. He wanted to say more, to comfort him, but the silence was more comforting than anything.

Remus' dad shows up almost half an hour later, grumpy and tired.

"We've got to get home, RJ. I've got work tomorrow." Lyall says, looking up from Remus to see Sirius Black, leaned against the tree. "Black... Which one? Regulus?" Remus hadn't even known his dad knew the Blacks. Remus himself hadn't even known, really. "Sirius." He recalls, holding a hand out to help his son stand.

"Yes, sir." Sirius mumbles, looking at the ground. Perhaps it was the sadness Remus heard in his voice, but he felt a sudden urge to hug him.

He did, wrapping his arms around the boy quickly and then releasing. "I'm sorry about your mates." He shrugs, getting a strange look from his dad.

Petunia walks to Sirius with Harry in her arms, looking agitated. "I've been looking all over. Do you want to say goodbye to Harry?" She asks, holding the baby out.

"Uh, um. Yeah?" He stammers, taking the baby awkwardly. Harry clings to Sirius for dear life, clutching his long black hair and resting his head against him. "Hey, little guy. You're gonna do just fine with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, alright? They'll take real good care of you. Better than I could. I promise." Sirius whispers, kissing the baby repeatedly and thinking about the hundreds of kisses he'd seen James and Lily plant on each other and their baby. "I promise. Your parents loved you, Harry. So do I. I love you. I love you so much." He starts crying, so Petunia takes him slowly. They stand there for a bit, Harry sobbing for Sirius and Sirius sobbing for James and Lily. The baby just reaches in the air, grabbing at him as Petunia pulls him away. It made Sirius more upset, but he had stopped crying by now. He waved to the boy, who was crying out of blazing green eyes and pulling at his messy brown hair, calling for Sirius and his mom and his dad.

Remus watches the scene awkwardly, biting his lip, then turns to leave, pulling Lyall along with him. He didn't get far, however, because Sirius shouted his name. "Do you want to go to a party tomorrow? It's just going to be a few people hanging out and I figured you could use some time away from home like I do...after losing people. If it's okay with you, sir?" He asks Remus, who looks at Lyall, hoping he says no. Parties have never been much his thing, even when he was with Dora who was the biggest partier he had known. Lyall looks at Remus and holds back a grin.

"Of course. It would be good for him. What time and where?" He asks, making Remus hum in disapproval. Sirius spat out details that Remus paid no mind to, kicking at the mushrooms by his feet.