'50s & '60s (2)

Michael's Insecurities

(Taken from Naked Persimmon's Facebook page+Tumblr blog)

"Interesting comment from NP fan Joey Jones on our high school Monkees photo post the other day:

"Reminds me of Sylvia, one of the artists in a show I put together. She told me about going to hear Nez as a teen in Texas. He played with another guy and she went to hear that guy, the one the girls had a crush on. She said Nez was not the guy you got a crush on in high school."

//She said Nez was not the guy you got a crush on in high school.//

Let's unpack that sentence for a moment. On its surface, it almost comes across as an insult, but there's actually some truth to it. By Nez's own admission (see here for examples: http://bit.ly/2bScQjM), he didn't fit in or have any friends in high school, and most probably was very awkward and shy at the time. He also had frustrations (see link above) over girls coming to him to complain about the guys they had crushes on, but never having crushes on him.

So even though we know Nez has a long history of being insecure or lacking in confidence about himself–especially in his younger years–we see that it was something others may have observed, too. (Which then of course begs the question: Was Nez insecure/not confident because girls didn't get crushes on him, or did girls not get crushes on Nez because he was insecure/not confident?) Either way, it wasn't the girls' faults for not being attracted to him*, and it wasn't Nez's fault for not being the type of guy toward which girls in that era, at that school, gravitated.

All it really means is that Michael Nesmith–like a lot of people–grew and blossomed enormously once he got the hell out of high school. Nez matured both physically and mentally, and, over time, honed that innate magnetism of his that is a hallmark of what draws people to him. Ultimately, Nez ended up having more people who have crushes on/infatuations with him than he could ever know what to do with...but underneath all of that, still, is that streak of insecurity. He's gotten quite adept at masking it with a mixture of charm and cockiness, but it's never fully quite gone away.

That, right there, is part of what has made Nez so endearing as he has aged–in an almost Benjamin Button-esque fashion–and rediscovered the mirth and carefree giddiness that seemed so lacking when he was a teenager. After all, you just never know how someone is going to really turn out from seeing them in high school...

(*Said girls have probably been kicking themselves like CRAZY since then...)

In his screen test for the Monkees, Bob asks Mike what he did before then, and he says that he was "a failure." And there isn't a shred of sarcasm to his statement...you can tell he genuinely means it. Also:

"Mike Nesmith's description of the Monkees: - himself – tall, skinny and ugly. Micky – a Chihuahua. Peter – astute and articulate. Davy – cute and loveable." ~ 101 Facts about the Monkees – Rave Magazine Issue #40, May 1967

"I never dated much. I couldn't get a date. I'd call up and say, 'Oh, would you like to go out?' And they'd say, 'No, I don't like you.' They used to really say this! It really used to shoot me down. Bad. I would mess around with a lot of different girls, but none of them would ever go out with me. I'd just be their 'buddy' and it was a drag! I really got tired of being a 'pal'. They would tell me how much trouble they were having with Sid McClaine or how upset they were Bobby Lane wasn't asking them out." ~ Mike on dating – NME Magazine, 18th Feb 1967

"[...]I got together about 25 buddies of mine. I mean, they weren't exactly buddies. What would happen is these guys would respond to the little ideas I had. They would say 'Ha ha, Nesmith came up with a cool one.' Actually, they all hated me. But we'd pull off a great trick, then they would take all the credit for it and I would sit home alone on Friday nights while they went out." ~ An excerpt from a quote from Mike about being a prankster, NME Magazine, 18th Feb. 1967.

"Peter took a walk out onto his balcony across the hall to wave hello to the crowds gathered in Hyde Park. Mike declined. 'I want to save myself so I can be attacked on the way to Wembley,' he explained. He further explained that he gets embarrassed when he steps out on the balcony and no one screams. I offered to report his deplorable lack of fan mail. 'Don't do that', he said, 'I'll just get a lot of letters saying 'Keith Altham says you don't get any fan mail so I thought I'd write to you. Please say hello to Davy for me!'" ~ Mike on his lack of fan appeal – NME Magazine, 8th July 1967."

It's so upsetting that he had insecurities so bad. But I can relate. It's relatable af.