Jack The Armchair
Tonight we will be getting a new batch of people. A new set of people coming to share. I sit in the back room of a church and every night they have narcotics anonymous or teens group therapy or something of the sort; either way people come here to tell their stories with the hope that speaking about their problems will suddenly makes them disappear; but really they just come here once a week and talk about how cocaine made them lose their families for an hour then leave and they still don't have a family. They move the groups to different locations every now and again to keep things fresh, as they say.
The first person walks in; dark cracked teeth, pale skin , jittery limbs and slight breathing problems... probably methamphetamine. Next, blue extremities, chronic cough and bubble gum in their mouth definitely a smoker, the two packs a day kind. So they shuffle in one by one some loiter by the snack table slowly munching on a stale old donut some take their seats and wait anxiously waiting for the meeting to begin. You can tell why each person is here today. Some have been ordered by the courts, some by their families and the odd few who realised something was wrong in their lives and decided to make a change ; those ones are the most likely to stay sober.
The group leader, Alexander, takes his seat and people settle down. I am in the corner so I just observe everything. It's obvious which ones are the veterans and who the newbies are when Alexander leads them in the serenity prayer. The veterans recite it like breathing the newbies stumble through it and try to keep up.
Alexander invites all the people to say their names and share their addiction because this is a "Safe Space" for all and there is no judgement. They do the whole "Hi, I'm BlahBlah and I'm an addict" with a droning "Hi BlahBlah". When people start sharing their stories the whole "no judgement" thing flies out of the window and its obvious in their eyes that some are feeling better about their misdeeds because other people's stories seem worse. Even Alexander shows some judgement in his eyes but only for a split second before regaining his empathetic facade. He is just an ex-addict that needed money, he doesn't really care about these people. If anything, I think he hates them. They remind him of the person he used to be. He used to be a selfish addict now he's just a selfish man without an addiction to blame it on. Now he just deals, I've even seen him sell to some of the people in his group.
The meeting goes as every meeting does and as soon as the hour Alexander calls the meeting to an end right in the middle of some guy's story. Alexander is the first to leave. Some stuff their bags with the stale donuts because this probably the only food they will get and some leave as rapidly as Alex did. Eventually the room clears out and I wait for tomorrow so I can hear some teenagers talk about why their breakup made them suicidal.
*SORRY THIS GOT A BIT LONG.*
