Harold The Armchair
Oh no, here comes Ms. Carlile with her big butt again. She's sat on me many times before but everytime it is a shock. I watch her turn around and her plaid colored behind takes its place on my lap and I can already feel my legs straining under her excessive weight. My eyes are covered as she leans back on me but I can still hear. She dials a number on her phone and then she's chattering about inconsequential gossip with one of her friends. I sigh internally , it seems like she will be here for a while.
I'm sorry, I am so rude I have not even introduced myself. My name is Harold. Harold The Armchair. I live in the Tshabalala household, I have been in this family for over four generations. Hand-crafted by Johnson Tshabalala as a lobola gift for his love ,Priscilla. I was passed down from generation to generation , frankly I think the family is more attached to me than any other family heirloom. I have seen people grow, get old and die in this house , I have seen and heard their stories all the things they didn't want anyone else to know. As an armchair everyone assumes you are not listening so they let you see them as they truly are and I can say for sure, I know the Tshabalalas far better than any of them know eachother.
Of all the stories I know in this home my favourite is actually my own little adventure when my leg broke. The Tshabalala household has always been a busy house with many children and people moving all over the place. On one such afternoon during a particularly rowdy game of tag , Thabo - Johnson's great great great grandson- tried to hide behind me and then in an effort to win the game his older brother Bahla came barrelling into me. He won his game but I broke a leg. I swear you could hear a pin drop in that moment, the normally noisy household was silent and still for the first time in many years. Their mother was furious , its safe to say Bahla and Thabo received the beatings of their lives that day.
Anyways, I was sent to a carpenter to be fixed. Unfortunately, after being fixed on the way back I was put in the wrong van. I had the greatest adventure of my life that day....
