I have sat in the halls of King's Landing. I have fought with Colin Firth in churches. I have sat at Tables with Dame Helen Mirren and sir Ian Mckellen. I have travelled through time and space with Professor X.
Hey there! Dierks the acting chair extraordinaire here. I know it's an honour to meet me. Judging by your silence you're a bit awestruck not to worry though that is a perfectly normal reaction. It's not every day you come face to face with greatness I'll let you have a moment to come to terms with it.
Right, being a legend isn't easy. It requires hard work and dedication and ample amounts of patience. I have to sat through hours of make-up every time we're shooting for Game of Thrones one doesn't just wake up as the Iron Throne. I almost didn't even get that job.
After the final call backs, it was just me and Kevin Couchner. At the time, I was nobody, all I had on my resume were a few extra roles on the Disney Channel (AKA hell) and a minor role in the first Insidious film. He was an award-winning chair who even though he wasn't as big as he used to be he was still much bigger than me, the choice was obvious. I had prepared myself to take my loss with grace and just try harder for the next one. And then they chose me.
I gave one hundred per cent of myself to become the Iron Throne and it paid; I was brooding and foreboding and everyone loved me. Suddenly I was the most famous chair on TV. Everyone wanted a piece of me everyone wanted their turn in me. I got to travel the world, people from all over sat in me even the Queen of England sat in me. I don't think you could be any bigger as a chair.
After Game of Thrones it was easy to get roles. I got to work with some of the finest actors in television and film. My resume just got bigger and bigger finally the world could see my talent. I was in everything keeping myself busy between seasons from the Conjuring to Kingsman: The Secret Service and I just signed on to do Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.
All the awards and travelling and even living out my dream none of that compares to the satisfaction of being able to say "Fuck you , haters, I made it."
