"You're not sorry!" -Bullied by 2/5ths of 1D-

Chapter 9

So, Happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it. This is extreamly late, and I'm sorry, I haven't had time to re-read chapter 8, and my brother had read it because I was at a stand-still, and gave me this idea. Thank you Boo. <3

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Harry

"Harry?" Louis asked.

"What?" I mumbled.

It had been a few hours since everything happened. Lauren is dead. We finally got the bathroom door open about an hour later. She wasn't breathing, her eyes were closed, and her skin was pale. Like Snow White pale. Paul opened the door with a butter-knife. A fucking butter-knife, I don't understand why we didn't think of that. I mean, me and Gemma used to fight over the bathroom all the time, she locked herself in, and I would use a butter-knife to open the door and drag her out so I could use it.

"Don't let yourself down for this, it's not you're fault."

"It's my fault just as much as it is anyone else's."

"I didn't know that this was going to happen."

"No one knew Lou! But I knew! I fucking knew this would happen, and I let it happen." I broke down, sobs racking my body as I cried into my band-mates shoulder as he comforted me.

"Shh it's okay, we'll get threw his together, for the better or worse." He mumbled rubbing my back as I continued to soak his shirt, with a mess I created.

"I.. did... this." I hiccuped.

"We did this, we ruined her, Harry. We ruined her together."

"No." I screamed out, scaring Niall that was walking towards us.

"Harry." Niall sighed sitting down next to us.

"I-I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to hurt her, make her kill herself. I didn't mean any of it! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried and sobbed into Louis, again.

I meant everything. I truly didn't mean to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. Let alone kill herself I never meant any of it. And now? She won't know how I ever felt about her. That is if I showed my feelings. I never did, and if this is what happens when I don't show them, I think it's time that I might. I don't want another person to kill themselves because of my actions. I promise as of now, to be a better person. I won't ever be this person again, and this can be my New Years resolution. I want to make a change, a change to stop bullying. I know I was a bully, but you can always change your ways. It's never to late.

"Louis?" I sniffled and looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I need you guys to help me make a twit-cam. I want to do this. I want to change. I did all of this because I liked her. I like someone and hide my feelings, and this is the result. Lou, please you have to help!" I begged.

"You too Niall, I need all of you guys to help me on this!" I continued.

"Okay, we'll help you, but we have to tell the fans. Give us about 20 minutes?" Louis suggested.

"Yeah, I mean, we have the laptop, and the camera, all we need is the link and the fans to finish it." Niall smiled.

"I'll send the tweet out." I mumbled and pulled out my phone.

'@Harry_Styles twit-cam in 20 minutes :)'

Lauren

It all happened so fast. He slapped me and I ran, just like in the fifth grade. I ran after he slapped me because I didn't want to be any where near him for the next ten hours. I ran because I was told not to. I ran because I would have cried in front of him. I'm not going to cry in front of him. The next day I did cry. I cried in front of them, when I didn't want to. Would you wan to cry in front of your bully?

"Lauren!" I heard yelling as I locked the bathroom door.

I cried and cried. It was silent for a few minutes before I got up and started to rummage threw the drawers. After about ten minutes I found what I was looking for. A razor blade. It wouldn't be the first time I cut, but it would be the last, I'll make sure of it. I started to draw lines over their initials. Fucked up? I drew them there because I wanted to make them feel pain, when all it did was causing me pain. Like a voo-doo-doll. But I didn't have one. I used myself as one, hopping to get the message to them.

I screamed as I drew over myself more. I sat in the tub, and the blood was going down the drain. I knew I was losing blood but I didn't think that it was this much. I know that you should get help, but I'm not going out there, even if you paid me. Never, forget it. I don't want to see their face, ever again, I know I won't. I'm positive I won't. They'll see my body, I just won't see them.

"Lauren please, say something?" I heard Niall beg.

Begging wasn't going to work, I was going to end this. I was going to be with my Mum again. I was going to leave this world for good. This is the last time anyone sees my face. I was going to never see this world again. I was going to watch my little brother grow up. I was going to finally be free from this living night-mare. I was going to leave this hell hole. Even if it kills me. I'm going to leave and never come back, ever.

I guess after the twenty-second cut, I stopped. I knew I already lost to much blood, but I didn't think it was this much. I never think things through. I never do, never did, and now? I never will. I started to slip consciousness and seen black dots. Every where. 

"I'm sorry." I muttered. I knew they didn't hear me. I didn't even hear myself. But I knew I said it.

"Lauren, are you alive?"

That was the last thing I heard before I slipped and darkness took over me. This is it I guess. This is what it feels like to be dead, than I should have died along time ago. I never meant to start a war between us. I never meant to do anything. All I wanted was to make them see how much they wrecked me. How much they ruined me. What they did to me wasn't forgivable. I guess this is Karma's bitch after me. When I did nothing to them, the plates got turned on me. All I was, was a turning table. Always rolling around, standing in one spot for so long. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But they wrecked me, and this is the price they pay.

I will always be known as the girl, Lauren Cimorelli to them. But I will be known as a nobody for the rest of the world. It never crossed my mind that I would ever see them again. Let alone be the reason why their success became amazing. I would be the reason why they sky-rocketed. I just didn't know it yet. I guess this is what I have to pay for being there and caring for everyone when clearly no one deserved it. I believe in second chances, I just don't believe that everyone should deserve one.