Gravity

Chapter Seven

Chris and Maggie tried to see each other as much as their schedules would allow them, but it was an extremely complicated task. Despite communicating via e-mail and telephone daily, distance and their constantly changing circumstances had started to take a toll on their 7-month relationship. They were lucky if they managed to visit each other once a month. Maggie was meeting new people, adapting to a new city, discovering new places and Chris was focused on the band, on making music, he was also travelling to new places, living new experiences.

Chris rolled on his stomach on his bed and readjusted the book he was reading. Despite he tried to focus on the words, his mind was too tired and he lost the battle. He decidedly closed the novel and turned on his back with a yawn. They were in the middle of their Parachutes tour and between gigs, interviews and promotions their days were full. They had been lucky to have had most of the day for themselves, after their interview at lunchtime. Guy, Will and Jonny already had plans so Chris had been left by himself. He checked the clock on the opposite wall; it was almost 22:30. Maybe he could write something. He grabbed his guitar, but after a few minutes gave up. If only Jonny was here, but he had no idea where his best friend was. He’d not returned to the room they shared at the old Travelodge hotel in Sheffield all day.

Someone knocked on his door.

He got up barefoot and opened it slightly “Yes?”

“We’ve been invited to a party!” Guy said. “Phil knows someone who knows someone who would let us in the festival’s after party, anyways. Are you coming?”

“Errmm…” he did not really fancy going to a party, but what was he going to do here all night?

“C’mon! Are you planning on staying in this shabby hotel room all night?”

“Who’s going?”

“All of us are! Free beer, cute girls, lots of musicians.”

“Is Jonny going?”

“Yes! All of us are!”

“OK,” he finally agreed.

He and Guy went together, his friend had told him Will and Jonny were out and about with their girlfriends and they’d go there later. They had not even got into the club and he was already regretting his decision. He did not enjoy these kind of parties. He endured them, but the guys were with their girlfriends and Maggie was in America, he did not know anybody else, did not fancy getting drunk or dancing…maybe he should have just stayed in.

Guy, on the other hand, was quite enthusiastic; he apparently knew a few of the attendees. Chris was introduced to them, but after a brief talk they were all a bit drunk and he lost interest. Some fellow musicians approached him, recognising him, he remembered some of them, they chatted for a while but soon everybody went back to whatever they were doing. Chris found himself sitting on a sofa, a drunken Guy by his side; quite busy discussing about cars with his friends, a subject he knew absolutely nothing about.    

With nothing to contribute to the conversation, he scanned the crowd of people, searching for a familiar face. Where was Will? Where was Jonny? He sighed and played again with the untouched beer bottle Guy had brought for him. “Will and Marianne are not coming!” Guy told him looking down at his phone. ‘Great!’ he thought. He had no one to talk to. If only Maggie was here. He missed his girlfriend, everyone seemed to be paired up, he noticed after a quick look around. There were some groups of ladies here and there, they seem quite cute. However, he was not interested in any of the other girls, even if they were attractive, he would not do that to Maggie.

He eyed the doors, he fantasised about leaving. Guy was so pissed, he would not even notice. Just then, Jonny walked in hand in hand with his own girlfriend, a slim blonde girl called Anne. He had met her two months ago and had been dating since, seeing each other when they were in London or when she had days off and could follow the tour. Chris had seen little of her and apart from what Jonny had told him, he did not really know her. Jonny seemed to like her quite enough, although he did not recall him referring to her as his “girlfriend”, he’d always say Anne or “the girl I’m going out with”. As sweet as Jonny was, getting into his heart was apparently not an easy task.

Jonny had not seen him. He was facing the other way. He thought about going over to them, but just then, Anne brought his face down for a kiss. A funny feeling grew inside of him and he remained on his seat. His eyes focused on their interlaced fingers. His insides were twisting, as if he was going to throw up. He recognised the feeling. He was trying his hardest not to acknowledge it.

Another couple approached them and Anne seemed to know them. Chris watched as she introduced Jonny to these people. Despite the room being a bit dark, he could still notice how bored Jonny looked while his girlfriend and the other girl animatedly talked. Jonny and the other guy interchanged just a few words before the other man left God knows where. He suddenly wanted to go and rescue his friend, but she had him clutched by the waist and would not let go of him. He hoped Jonny would notice him, but he was not in a well illuminated part of the room. Anne seemed to realise how out of place her boyfriend felt and gave him another kiss as a sort of consolation, he thought. Chris swigged back three quarters of his beer bottle. Fuck. Shit. What the hell? Not again!

 After half an hour of unsuccessfully trying to ignore the nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach, he admitted jealousy had taken hold of him. Jonny was with his girlfriend. He was alone. He had a girlfriend, so he had no right to feel jealous. He just missed his girlfriend a lot. That was all. Seeing Jon and Anne together reminded him of what he was missing. That was it, he convinced himself. If Anne had not been there, he wouldn’t be alone bored out of his mind. He only tolerated these sort of parties because Jonny would usually stay around and listen to him talk about nonsense, but he was with his girlfriend and Maggie was in America. He did not know if it had been the alcohol or because his mind was again not working properly, but he was startled to comprehend he did not actually wish for Maggie to be there. He wanted Anne to fuck off and let him and his friend enjoy some boys time. He felt a sudden urge to go there, shove her off and take Jonny away from her, away from this party they were obviously not enjoying. He’d take Jonny to a bar, let him drink what he wanted and then they’d go back to the hotel and write silly songs about bodily functions or creepy people they saw on the road. Chris finished his bottle and grabbed another. Guy’s loud laugh caught his attention for a moment; he was the only one who was having a great time it seemed. He looked back at Jonny, he had a beer in his hand and was trying to follow the conversation. The other guy had returned and would say something every now and then and they would all crack up. Anne laughed distractedly at what the other girl was saying and she moved his hand from Jonny’s side and Chris noticed with bitter eyes as she discretely slipped it in the back pocket of Jonny’s jeans, Chris saw his friend flinch, he was sure no one had seen him, but he had. He did not need to be up close to them to know Jonny was uncomfortable. He knew Jonny better than anyone in the room. Her hand stayed there. Stop touching him! That was it. Chris stood up and left the room. This was insane. He was insane. Insane and dizzy. He stumbled outside, the fresh air making him a bit more alert. He managed to walk the short distance to their hotel and made his way into the room. He did not bother undressing; he just collapsed on his bed and fell instantly asleep.

When he woke up the following morning, his head seemed about to explode. He’d only had two beers. Guy was right. He didn’t hold his liquor very well. Flashes of last night wormed their way into his tired mind. Chris was disgusted with himself and his feelings of jealousy. What alcohol could make you feel, right? Because he blamed it all on being lonely and alcohol, why scrape deeper if the answer was right there?

His phone rang, it was Maggie. She’d be in the UK for a few days and needed to talk to him. A week later, at their usual spot on Primrose Hill in London, they decided it would be best to end it. Chris was thrown back into the tour as a single bloke with a heavy and confused heart.