Gravity

Chapter Twenty-Six

“Where are you going, mate?” Will asked him.

“Oh, I was looking for you,” he lied, he felt nauseated. He wanted to go home.

“And Jonny?”

“I don’t know,” he said, hoping his friend bought it.

“Guy said you went to look for him,” he asked.

“Yeah, but I…..didn’t find him.”

“Come on, guys, time to go,” their PA told them, ushering them in the direction of the theater.

Chris followed Guy’s back. Near the door, Jonny saw them coming and started walking with them, slightly ahead. There wasn’t much space, so Chris tried to not get paranoid, but when they reached their seats and Jonny sat on the other side, Will and Guy between them, Chris’ heart constricted in anguish. Why was he so far away? He could barely see him from his aisle seat. Suddenly he wished he had stayed and watched their conversation, at least he would know. Now he was in the dark. What had Steff said? What did Jonny feel? He tried to catch his eye, but the guitarist was distracted.

The rational part of him told him he was jumping to conclusions, that Jonny had walked ahead of Will because he had seen them approaching and that anyone would have done that, that he had sat there because he had got there first and not in an attempt to avoid him, but his desperate side could not understand that. It could only panic.

The ceremony started but all Chris could think about was Jonny, Jonny and his conversation with his ex-girlfriend. Anxiety built inside him, insecurity chipped at his soul. When the first commercial break was on, he sprinted for the toilet, he needed some air. Guy stared puzzled after him when he told him where he was going and had hurried out, not bothering to listen to an answer.

Almost 26 years on this planet and he still could not stop being a tosser, he reckoned as he walked through the hall in search of the WC.

“Chris!” Steff said, moving away from a group of other staff members and hurrying towards him. Great. What did she want now? 

“I talked with Jonny,” she told him.

“Oh, yeah?” He tried all his might to sound cool about it.

“Yes, you won’t need to save time for me later,” she said in an unidentifiable tone. “I kinda wish I had talked to you first, you know. To save us from some awkward moment.”

Chris could not grasp what she meant. Awkward for whom? For him? Oh, no, what did she mean? He tried with all his might to shush those insecure voices from his head that taunted him, reminding him of how much Jonny had cared for this girl, his heart pounded in his ears. “What do you mean?” he managed to say.

“I told him what I wanted to tell him, I’m moving back to London and well, I was hoping, you know,” she hesitated, “Anyways, he told me he was seeing someone,” she finished with a disappointed smile.

His body felt suddenly light as all the worry started to dissipate. Jonny had told Steff he was involved with someone, that someone was him. He would have jumped with joy, had she not been there. He swallowed “Oh, he told you?”

“Yes, and that he was really happy with them,” she continued.

Oh, God. He’s said he’s happy with me. Wow! Do I really make him happy? Jonny prefers to be with me.

“Yes, he is,” he hurried to say. “At least he seems to be,” he corrected himself for it was a bit pretentious of him to assume he made Jonny happy. It was something Jon should say, not him. Although his heart told him Jonny had been incredibly content and peaceful in the last two months.

“Chris, excuse my asking, but is it….what they have, is it serious?”

Of course they were serious! This was definitely not something to pass the time. He could think of no one else but his lovely guitarist with green eyes and messy hair. He was confident Jonny would agree with his sentiment. At least, he hoped so.

“I believe they are, yes. I have not seen Jonny interested in anyone else, he seems pretty happy.”

“Well, that’s important, isn’t it?” she said, disillusionment evident in her voice.

Jonny’s happiness was one of his top priorities. Of course it was important. He could not contain the joy that invaded him, but it would have been rude to show his true feelings, so he remained as serious as he could while she said goodbye to him.

“Well, now that I’m back in London, we’ll probably bump into each other again, so see you around!” she said.

“See you around.”

“Good luck with the nominations tonight,” she sincerely told him.

“Thanks,” he said and with another round of “See you around” they parted ways. A part of him felt sympathy for Steff, she was indeed a very nice lady, but well, Jonny was his boyfriend now, as it was meant to be. He firmly believed in that.

He hurriedly returned to his seat, Will gave him a crossed look, for the commercial break was over already. He threw an apologetic look his way.

“This is our category!” Guy whispered.

Oh, God. Now that they were here, that the situation with Steff had been cleared up his nerves about the award returned with a vengeance. Chris’ apprehension grew as they announced every other one of their contestants; he could quickly come up with reasons why the other nominees would win instead of Coldplay. On the other hand, he felt they were the best band of the bunch. Well, except for Oasis. Oh, God. There was no way they could beat Oasis, they were just too fucking perfect. Everyone knew that!

He shut his eyes tightly while he waited for the man to announce the winner. It took him a second to register the name of his band had been read, but when he did he jumped up in triumph. Oh, God, they had won! They had won Best British Group! He immediately hugged his band mates and friends. This was unbelievable. It was awesome.

To his utter-and delighted- surprise, his very shy Jonny, his very reserved boyfriend, the boy who was not prone to public displays of affection, was suddenly planting a huge kiss on his cheek, in front of everyone, live on national TV and above all, in front of Steff. Forget about the award, this was much more awesome! He thought returning the gesture. Of course he could not forget the award and so, as he proudly congratulated his other two band mates and later as he skipped down the runway to collect the small man-shaped trophy they had rightfully deserved, he thought of how wonderful this all was, he had no idea what to say when he got to the microphone, he was just too ecstatic. They walked out from the ceremony with not only one, but two awards and with no sight of Steff again. Good!

Later that night, as they were on a plane back to the States, he did not even remember the bunch of nonsense he had rambled about while thanking for the award, it must certainly have been something embarrassing, well, whatever! What he did remember though, was the sheer joy at the realisation that Jonny’s gesture had not been a random thing, nothing was done at random when it came to Jonny, but it had been a sort of declaration, a proof of his love. Maybe not to the world, they would surely not think twice about it, but to him. To him it had meant a lot. In a way, it had been Jonny’s way of saying “I love you.” Oh, God, his whole body tingled at the thought. Could it be true? He wondered as he turned his head to his left, where his boyfriend was sleeping soundly on the seat next to him. Jon had never said it, but that kiss, at that moment and in those circumstances had definitely felt like that. After all, Jonny had always been a man of action, rather than words, he thought as a smile drew itself across his face.

I love you too, Jonny.

 

 A/N: NOT THE LAST CHAPTER, hehe.