Gravity

Chapter Twenty-Nine

He approached the bedroom door again and peered inside, Jonny was still lying down on the bed, facing the window, immobile. Chris’ chest felt tight with sorrow, he hurt at seeing his love like that. Anger had already subsided, then desperation had replaced it and finally helplessness had settled in.

It had all started that morning when Chris had been out running, as he usually did. His body had shaken in panic at what he had found at the newsagent’s when collecting the paper on his way back to Jonny’s flat. Jonny’s and his relationship had been discovered, not only discovered, but blatantly publicised on a very popular tabloid. Unconsciously, he had immediately drawn his hood up and had adjusted his scarf around his face and with trembling hands he had purchased one paper. He had wanted to know what this was all about, he had an instinctive urge to flee, to grab Jonny and go back to Hawaii, where they had just spent a lovely week on holidays. Instead, he had had to deal with this; he had had to tell Jonny that their precious relationship, which had been carefully protected for over a year, had been exposed for everyone to see.

*Earlier that day*

Chris climbed up the stairs in haste but upon reaching the hallway he froze, a cold shiver running down his spine, uncertainty invading his mind. He had been so focused on not being recognised, on getting to Jonny’s flat, his safe place on Earth, as soon as he could, that now that he was there, only metres from his door, he did not know what to do. How was he going to tell him? What was he going to tell him? How would he take it? If he considered himself to be a reserved person, then Jonny would be twice as reserved. This level of exposure without warning, without being somewhat in control of the situation would kill him. He took the newspaper and unfolded it, looking at the story and the pictures closely for the first time. “Heating up the COLD PLAYing in the snow” was the word game used as title, followed by a picture of the two of them kissing. Rage surged through him. Who the fuck did they think they were to do that to them? Who had given them the right? He looked at the photos again. There was no way anybody could think of it as a misunderstanding or something made up by the tabloid. He shook his head and prayed for the strength to overcome this. He was shocked, he was angry, he was heartbroken, and he was about to deliver this shocking news to the person he loved most, he would have to inflict pain upon him and he could not bear himself to do that. However, he did not want Jonny to find out the way he had so he took a deep breath, placed the key in the lock and twisted it, letting himself in the flat.

Jonny came to greet him, still dressed in comfy clothes.

“Hey, handsome! How did it go?” the green-eyed man told him, a wide smile on his face.

“Hey, love,” he carefully said, receiving a kiss from his boyfriend, “Come here, Jay,” he softly told him, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the sofa.

“What’s wrong?” he uttered disconcerted.

“I need to tell you something,” he said sitting down next to Jonny.

“What’s wrong Chris?”

Words seemed to have deserted him, he opened his mouth but nothing came out, so he just took the newspaper and held it between them. He watched with weary eyes as Jonny scanned the front page, the headline, the photo.

“H-H-How? When?” his boyfriend stuttered, petrified.

“It must have been the other day at the Heath,” he said.

“But we were alone!!!” he argued, face masked in confusion and anger.

“Apparently we weren’t.”