Gravity

Chapter Thirty-One

“It’s over, Chris! It’s over!” Jonny told him, his face as hard as stone, standing near the hotel room door, shattering his heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

“But, but…you said you loved me!” he kneed, not understanding, not comprehending what was going on. They had been fine just the day before, so in love with each other.

“Not like that, not anymore, I can’t continue with this,” he said.

He got up and tried to touch him, but Jonny stepped back. Why was he doing this? Why?

“Why?” he asked, broken, tears streaming down his face.

“Steff and I are going back together,” he stated.

What? Steff? But…His chest felt tight, his breathing became agitated.

“She’s pregnant; she’s going to have my child, so this is over. Goodbye Chris,” he told him, reaching for the door, not caring one bit how he felt.

Chris could not allow this, Jonny must be confused or…something, he could not let him go, no! He loved him, and Jonny loved him, he had said so. He did not want to lose him. With his last hope and his heart in pieces, he ran to the door and blocked it, preventing Jonny from escaping.

“N-N-Noo, you said you loved me,” he miserably told him. He felt he was dying.

“Steff and I are going to have a family, I love them. Now move, please.”

What? But….

“But you were with me, we have a relationship, how come she’s pregnant, it can’t be yours, Jonny,” he sobbed.

“It is mine,” he told him with the coldest stare he had ever received from anyone. Suddenly his tall figure was upon him, angry eyes cutting like a knife what remained of his soul. “And don’t you ever say it isn’t, you hear me,” he threatened.

Chris did not care, child or not, he loved Jonny, he swallowed his anguish and put his arms around the guitarist, holding him tight, sobbing against the man he loved most in the world, while Jonny pushed against him, trying to get him off him. “Let go,” he heard Jonny said while his arms forcefully tried to pry him from him. “Noo,” he wailed, resisting with every ounce of strength he had left. “Don’t leave me Jonny,” he pleaded. “Please, please, I love you. You’re my life, please,” he sobbed against his chest, feeling Jonny’s heart beating under his burning cheek. Suddenly, those arms were not pushing him away, but hugging him, comforting him. “Don’t leave me, Jonny,” he cried.

“I’m right here, love, shhh,” he heard him say. A hand gently rubbed his face. Soft lips kissed his forehead. “Don’t leave me,” Chris whispered tiredly, his mind a whirlwind of confusion.

“Shh, I’m here. Everything will be alright,” Jonny reassured him. He took a deep breath trying to control his breathing, but he couldn’t, he was still too upset, too confused. He peaked through half-open eyes and suddenly the hotel room they had been in had disappeared and he was momentarily disoriented. Then, he recognised the curtains, those were Jonny’s curtains. His bedroom curtains. He stayed where he was, clutching Jonny with all his might, with the guitarist’s arms around him and his bearded cheek against his head. He realised they were rocking, the movement soothed him, it was very comforting. His eyes darted around the room, taking in his surroundings, it was dark outside, no longer daytime and this was Jonny’s bedroom, in his flat. They were not on tour. They were not at a hotel; they were recording, in London. He had spent the night at Jonny’s flat. They had worked at the studio until six, they had recorded the vocals for Fix You again. They had gone to the cinema in the evening and they had come back here afterwards. Then they had eaten some pasta for dinner, they had made love in the shower and they had gone to bed, Jonny had fallen asleep first, as usual. Everything slowly came back to him.