Levi x reader oneshots

Levi x Suicidal reader

A/n: I actually had to ask my friend how to spell suicidal... 

Of course, this is a touchy subject. If you're triggered easily by this stuff then please skip it. I also highly suggest you find someone to talk to and get help- I love you all.

(edited: 22/september/2019)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been 3 months since you had joined the survey corps. You were from Shiganshina, (Is that how you spell it? Meh who cares.) so of course, you had watched your whole family get eaten in front of you. You were saved though, just in time. You were going to let yourself get eaten since you were little and you didn't see happiness outside of your family or the trauma you went through. It was all taken away from you- you didn't see the point in living. So joining the survey corps and letting yourself get eaten on a mission wouldn't be very suspicious right? At least you could semi-help humanity?

"(f/n)! You weren't listening again!" Armin yelled on the back of his horse. You were currently on your first expedition- and what you thought to be your last. 

"Huh?" You blinked a few times, taking in the surroundings as you neared the huge trees.

"Stay alert! The big forest is just there! You need to pay attention!" He yelled at you. You looked up at the trees as you entered the forest. You and everyone else switched to 3DMG and went up into the trees, standing on the branches to scan the area. Turning around, you saw black smoke from further inside the forest. The perfect excuse to leave the group, right? You launched your hooks and flew through the trees towards the smoke so that you could get away from people. The group didn't care too much that you left since they didn't want the titan very close to them... And they were told to stay together- so none of them were going to break off to go after a single person. Everything felt numb and dim as you approached a spot with a few titans in it. Your thoughts were as calm as ever, a darkness looming over you that you couldn't shake off. It felt as if you were long gone, and there was a force that was controlling your body for you. You landed on a branch and looked down at the titans with empty eyes. You stifled a small giggle, feeling tears drip down your face slowly.  'I guess this is the end... I waited a long time for this...' You breathed in the cool air as you held out your arms and free-fell backward. A titan was about to grab you when it suddenly fell to the floor and something flew into you, grabbing ahold of you in the bridal style. Shit. 

They landed and put you down. Man, captain looked angry... Before you could speak, he interrupted you. 

"I saw the whole thing. I'm not letting you put all the efforts of everyone who's looked after you in vain. You're leaving here alive." His voice seemed harsh towards you, yet his eyes told a different story. The usual cold ones were replaced with a saddened look of worry. 

"You don't understand at all! Just let me die already!" You almost yelled at him, tears now streaming down your face as you tried to run off.

"You're not going anywhere." He hissed, grabbing your arm. "Grab on. I'll take you to your friend Armin." 

~~Time skip to after the expedition~~

You were waiting in Levi's office, fidgeting with your clothes as your anxiety reached alarming levels. He demanded to see you after you got back from the expedition, most likely to talk about what you tried to do. He slammed the door shut behind him and walked towards the desk you sat in front of.

"So, brat. Do you mind explaining what drove you to do that?" He asked, sitting down in his chair. You felt the lump in your throat grew as Levi's stare burned holes through you.

"Argh. Ever since my family died, I wanted to disappear. The trauma and darkness became so much that I just wanted to end the unhappiness I've had. That's why I joined the survey corps." Levi stared at you for a while, making you squirm in discomfort. However, his gaze was soft and one of sympathy. Slowly, he got up and stood in front of you. 

"Hey, I know it's hard and it can seem nearly impossible to pass through the dark spots you go through, but when you search for happiness and light, it becomes easier to find. Don't even think about dying on me, I don't want to lose you." He said, looking into your eyes and placing a hand on your shoulder to help calm you down.

"Was that a confession?" You smiled, wiping away the tears that tried to form in your eyes.

"Maybe." He said bluntly, looking away with a slight blush on his cheeks. 

"What." 

"As I said, don't go dying on me. Dismissed." He waved his hand and you walked out, a soft smile placed on your lips. You went straight towards Armin, and engulfed him in a hug, shocking the poor boy.

"What happened?!" Armin asked, because you never hug people. 

"Captain doesn't want me to die." You said softly.