Saved By Zerrie

Chapter 19

Zayn left last night Amelia was completely devastated I mean so where me and Perrie but it is harder for Amelia to understand and control her feeling once we got finally got her calm and asleep me and Perrie just sat on the couch staring at the tv I don't think either of us where paying any attention to it Perrie seems so sad I hate seeing her like this I know she is trying to hide it. I move over and sit on her sideways resting on her shoulder and she hugs me close

"you don't always have to be strong Pp, Mum" I say she hugs me closer and I can hear the strangled sob escape from her throat I starts to cry into my shoulder I just let her and hold her running my hand through her head like the good daughter I am well the good daughter hope to be. After a bit she stopped crying.

"Sorry Kali you shouldn't have had to see that" she said to me I shook my head at her

"It's ok Mum I'm here if you ever need a shoulder" it feels weird calling her Mum still but it is slowly getting easier. We decided to call it an early night about 10:30 I went to check on Amelia and start to freak when I can't find her I walk out a saw Perrie standing at her door I walked over to her and saw Amelia sleeping in Perrie and Zayn's bed with what looks to be Zayn's jumper. I can't help but aww at her cuteness I take a picture of her I was about to move her but Perrie stopped me and told me to just let her sleep there, she asked if I wanted to join them but I declined knowing I was going to have a shocker of a night. which I was right about, I didn't fall asleep until Zayn had text to say he landed ok and was at the hotel and when I did I had shocking flash backs so I only had a very small amount of sleep nothing helped I tried music, counting and cutting nothing could stop the flashes.. I'm now laying here and Amelia walks in looking oh so so cute with her bed hair the very large shirt and her eyes still half closed. She ries to climb up onto the bed but when she can't she lets out a little whine. I lean over and scoop her up and she snuggles into my chest as I lay us down she puts her thumb in her mouth which I pull out causing another whine but I don't let her place it back in her mouth.

"it's ok princess you don't need to suck your thumb" I whisper she lets small whimper but nods I run my hand through her hair waiting for her to wake up a bit more. I need to wash her hair its feeling a bit yuck. After about 5 minutes Perrie walks in and come and hugs us

"good morning my babies, did you sleep well" Perrie ask same question every morning she comes in I give her a nod but shake my head instead not lying she gives me a look of concern but doesn't question it in front of Amelia which I am thankful for

"I sweep good Mummy" Milly says making me smile at her

"I love you to the moon and back infinity time's one princess" I whisper to her wanting to remind her and tell her how much I love her. She snuggles closer

"so today we have lunch with Mason, his sisters and Mum at the playground down the road so how about we go down and grab some breakfast then we can get ready" she suggest I nod, I wonder if I can stay home. Make some excuse, I don't really feel up to meeting new people today I am way too tired. I see the time it is 7:30 maybe I can try squeeze in a nap. Amelia goes and sits on the couch and I turn on some cartoons for her before I go and help Perrie.

"You ok baby girl?" Perrie ask I nod my head

"I might try have a nap before we go out if that's ok?" I ask she looks concerned

"Why didn't you sleep Hun" she ask me cooking some bacon as I whisk the eggs I don't respond straight away.

"uhh just wanted to make sure Zayn landed ok and after yesterday it triggered a whole lot and just struggled a lot." I tell her I don't want to lie to her that makes me think about me cutting is it lying to her, I mean she never asked if I am so technically it isn't lying its simply not telling her something about my life is it so wrong to want to keep somethings to myself?