Saved By Zerrie

Part 26

Well today is Friday and I have just woken up anxiety instantly hits me they are leaving today, me and Amelia are staying with Blakes family, what if they don't come back, what if Balke and her family realize I am a freak, I am scared, I am weak. I don't know how I will go without mum and dad, heck how Amelia will cope without them I wonder if she will act out and if she does how I will cope with her I don't want her to be disrespectful in someone's house or for her to get punished because I can't stop her acting out. Before I know what is happening I feel like I can hardly breath and the room is closing in on me and my vision darkening I can't get any words out to call for help. I vaguely hear the door open but can't focus my mind seems blank yet it is racing. I vaguely feel someone sit next to me and can hear words as a blurry whisper. It becomes a little clearer as I force myself to focus the voice as it instructs me to breath, I focus on the feeling of the person rubbing my back. I finally can focus again and I can breathe again, slightly choppy but manageable.

"talk to me baby tell me what's going on" Mum says as I cuddle into her trying to relax, taking in her scent memorizing it in case I have a panic attack while they are gone.

"ii uhh ii" I stutter feeling more and more stupid about the whole thing

"I don't want you guys to leave us I'm scared, so. so many things can go wrong and and I won't be in control. I never needed to rely on anyone before and now I do your leaving, you're not going to come back, you're your tired of us" I say not even realizing the last part came out and I freeze once I realize the whole thing comes to that, I am scared they are sick of us and won't come back at all.

"hey Baby girl we are coming back I promise you that we will always come back for you, I promise you that, here I want you to have this necklace, it was my grandmothers, I want you to wear it and keep it until I come back, if you forget for a second or worry that we are not coming back for you remember this necklace is the second most important things to me, of course you, your sister and Zayn are the first most important thing, one of us will always be able to answer our phone baby I promise" she says trying to reassure me and I want to be reassured I really do but I can't but I guess I can pretend for them, I don't want to ruin this for them this is their job and I need to accept that I should have accepted that along time ok I am 15 I shouldn't be so reliant I have survived this long on my own. I just nod my head taking one last breath.

"guess we need to get ready for the day" I say standing up and helping mum who wraps her arm around my shoulder and we walk downs stairs as soon as we get to the kitchen I am wrapped up by Zayn as he hugs me tightly

"I love you baby girl, so so much" he says kissing my forehead before hugging me again. I eventually pull away

"so, what's for breakfast" I say trying to act as normal as possible as I scoop my little sister up kissing all over her face making her laugh I know today will be hard for her when Mum and dad leave but she also seems excited about spending the whole weekend with Mason I wonder if she realizes that mum and dad won't actually be there, I'll just have to try and keep her occupied so she doesn't notice and freak out.

It now 10 and Zayn And Perrie have called me down stairs just as we finished my English work. I walk down Bianca follows explaining the home work I need to do over the weekend we have decided it will be too hard with Amelia for us to study figuring Amelia will be upset so mum and Dad are going so they will drop us of on the way which will be weird since Blake won't be home so I will be there with alone with Carmen and maybe Cameron. I have been dreading this all morning but I put a smile on my face so they don't see that. As I get down stairs and Dad takes my school bag as Bianca comes down

"ok remember your homework Nim and if there is anything you don't understand you know you can call me" she says I nod give her a quick hug bidding us all good bye