Living with Teen Boys

Man Up

Logan's P.O.V

I drummed my fingers on the side or the arm rest. I hated hospitals. The smell of disinfectant wafted up my noes making my head pound even more, all I saw were emotionless nurses speed walk down the corridor trying not to look panicked at the dying people behind the curtains. I had never really thought about it but more people walk into this hospital than walk out. I sighed rubbing the back of my neck nervously. My phone buzzed in my pocket making me jump at the sudden life in this dull sad room. I grabbed it reading the message, it was from Olivia, the girl form the party. She asked me about Kyle but I ignored it, I shouldn't be thinking about girls when my brother could be dying. God I felt so bloody guilty! I shouldn't have said those things, if only time could be reversed. I sniffed refusing to be weak in this place, I needed to be strong. Strength was the only thing I had right now and I wasn't about to loose it. I coughed realizing how dry my throat was. I stood up and walked over to the small vending machine that looked a hundred years old and never been used.

I scanned over the drinks deciding to pick lemonade, I pulled out my wallet and opened it. I froze. There was a picture of me and Kyle at our first football game. I looked at his happy face smiling at the camera, he had been so happy that we had finally saved up enough money to buy the tickets. The corner of my mouth curved into a smile at the memories of my younger brother, if he died I wouldn't be able to deal with myself. He could be dying right now and I was buying lemonade. A tear slid down my cheek followed by more and more. I wiped them away angrily but failed at keeping the water inside me. I lent against the corridor wall with my head in my hands. I sat there sobbing for what could have been hours, I only stopped when I felt a small hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ok?" asked the small girl looking worried, I smiled at her wiping the tears away with the back of my sleeve. "Yeah, I'm fine" I whispered smiling at her. She sat down next to me a question In her eyes. "You know its not as bad as it seems" she said playing with the bottom of her hospital gown. I nodded at her trying not to cry again, "So what are you in here for?" I asked the small girl carefully, "I have cancer" she said not a trace of fear in her words. I gulped looking away from the girl. "Its ok" she said laughing sadly "I know I'm going to die, but I'm okay with it, I've had a good life and I'm ready to go". "So your not scared?" I asked her looking into her big green eyes, "Nope" she said smiling. "How?" I asked her confusion seeping into my voice, she looked back at me her eyes full of answers. "I no that I'm not strong enough to fight it off and there's nothing the doctors can do, but there's no point in worrying about death" she said looking up at me with wise eyes "I have to make the most of the time I have left". I nodded biting my lip, she was so brave.

"Amy?" said the nurse interrupting us "Its time for you check up", Amy nodded getting up slowly. She turned to look at me "I hope who ever you are waiting for gets better" she said her green eyes shining, I nodded.

"And Logan?"

"Yes?"

"You cant be sad forever".